ONE DEFAULT THING TO DO IN ANY SITUATION One of the concepts that I really think is valuable toget a handle on is called "Always have one default thing todo in every common situation."
It's amazing to me when I watch a guy interacting with awoman, and everything is going well... and then it's timefor him to either step up and make something happen, orwalk away like the wussy he is for NOT taking action...
...AND HE JUST DOESN'T DO IT!
Ohhhhhhhh I hate it when that happens.
I'm sure you've never had this happen. Neither have I,of course.
I was out yesterday at the cell phone store getting a newphone (because a certain company who's name starts with "S"has the worst customer service on the planet)... sorry, Idigress... and I witnessed a painful episode of "Wuss DropsThe Ball" right before my eyes.
A tall, blonde model-type girl was waiting to getherself a new antenna for her phone, and Mr. Smooth starteda conversation with her by saying "What kind of phone doyou have?"
The conversation was going along well, and they wereboth smiling and laughing about phones and such.
Finally, Ms. Model walked up to the counter and got hernew antenna, then said "good bye" to Mr. Wuss-Of-All-Time,who proceeded to smile dorkily at her and wave as shewalked out of his life forever.
He just watched her walk all the way to the other endof the store, out the door, and out of sight.
You've probably seen the "I'm SUCH a loser" look.Well, he had it.
IT WAS GOING SO WELL FOR HIM! WHY DIDN'T HE JUST ASKHER FOR SOME INFO? EMAIL? NUMBER? ANYTHING!
He had that look in his eye of "Damn. I really shouldhave just asked her for her number."
Twenty bucks says that he thought about that girl allday long, and imagined 47 different great things that heSHOULD have said in the moment - but didn't.
The only reason I'm so sure of this is because I usedto do this exact thing myself all the time. And now Iknow that many, many guys go through scenarios like thisevery day - but never get any positive results becausethey're not READY TO ACT IN THE MOMENT.
For some strange reason, many guys feel compelled tocome up with some UNIQUE and ORIGINAL way to handleevery situation. And you know what that usually leadsto... (right, a date with Rosy Palmer and her 5 sisters).
So what's the answer?
The answer is to have ONE DEFAULT THING TO DO INEVERY COMMON SITUATION.
One way to start conversations with women.
One way to ask for emails and/or phone numbers.
One way to take things to a physical level.
One place to go out with a woman...
...etc., etc., etc....
I can hear it now:
"But David, it sounds kind of corny to ask every womanfor her number the same way..."
I get it.
I used to feel the same way.
But here's the deal: If you will just take the time tolearn and prepare ONE simple way to handle each of the mostcommon situations, you'll be about a hundred times moresuccessful than if you try to "figure out something uniqueand original on the spot" every time.
And here's the irony of the situation...
Once you get a default way to handle each commonsituation, and you start experiencing SUCCESS on a regularbasis with women, you'll GAIN the ability to createbetter ideas on the spot.
Action Steps:
1) Choose the one situation that happens most often, the onethat you'd like to have an EXACT default sequence of wordsand behaviors to use to get you to the next level.
2) Close your eyes, and mentally run through the last fiveor ten situations like this that you were in.
3) Brainstorm 10 or 20 great ways that you could handlethis particular situation in the future.
4) Choose the one single best idea on the list, and refineit down to an exact sequence.
5) Close your eyes again and mentally rehearse it. Seeyourself doing it in your mind's eye. Move around and playit out... if you need to stand up, do it. Actually imaginethat a woman is in the room with you, and pretend thatyou're getting her number, kissing her, or whatever.
6) If your mom comes into your room, quickly transitioninto "Macbeth" and claim that you were improvising onShakespeare!
Seriously, it's ULTRA important for you to know whatyou're going to do next time you're talking to a woman andyou want to ask for her email of phone number.
If you don't know what you're going to do and exactlyhow to do it, then you're probably going to come acrosslike Mr. Smooth in the cel phone store...
Here's the irony of this situation:
WOMEN WANT YOU TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP!
But if you don't, then they won't either.
A woman will think to herself... "He seems nice, funny,interesting. I wish he'd ask me for my number... Oh, he'snervous... how cute. Well, if he can't get up the nerve toask me for my number, then I'm not going to overcome hisinner WUSSY and do it for him. Poor thing."
And I'm not kidding about this.
Find an attractive woman and read this newsletter toher. She'll laugh her ass off at what I just wrote. Really.
Of course, if you would like to take a look at the"Teacher's Edition" of the high-school algebra book andlearn some of the secrets that it's taken me literallyYEARS to learn, then I'd recommend that you download a copyof my online eBook "Double Your Dating." It's full ofliterally DOZENS of the very best ideas for taking thingsfrom one step to the next. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and download your copy. It's the very best investmentyou can make in your dating success.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.MEETING WOMEN IN DIFFERENT PLACES***QUESTION***
Hey David,
I was wondering if you could offer any wisdom on what you've gained from writing and responding to online personal ads. I'm not having a great deal of luck so far. Specifically, my questions are:
1. How brief should your descriptions of yourself and/or your ideal catch be? I've heard it said that "brevity is the soul of wit", but you also want to be memorable, right?
2. When writing descriptions, should you stick with C&F? I've noticed that humor often doesn't translate well in written form, so I wasn't sure how to go about all that.
3. I think I read in a previous newsletter that you recommend not posting a picture. At the same time, I tend to avoid ads without pictures due to having one too many blind dates which ended with me throwing a stick and shouting "fetch!" in order to distract her long enough to get away. Don't you think that by committing a picture on your ad, women might pass you up for the same reason? Or am I mistaken? An apprentice,
J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You've asked some questions that really require more of anin-depth treatment... but here are a few pointers that havetaken me YEARS to figure out:
1) You'll get more responses in general by replying topersonal ads placed by women than you will by placing yourown ad (Unless you're a master of writing personal ads).
2) If you're going to use the personals, look at the newads that are placed daily, and respond as soon as a womanplaces her ad. Attractive women typically get 50-100responses per DAY to personal ads, and it's very easy toget overwhelmed. You'll notice that a lot of women taketheir ads down after just a few days... this is why.
3) Be charming and funny (also known as COCKY and funny) inyour replies (or in your ad, if you write your own). Saythings like "I was looking through all these ads here onthe internet thinking to myself "Look at all the poor,desperate, lonely women..." and then I saw your ad andthought to myself "Hey, here's a poor, desperate, lonelywoman that's actually CUTE..." so I thought I'd write andsee if you're as interesting on the inside as you are inthis picture..."
4) I mentioned in one of recent newsletters that I got anemail from a guy who had his picture taken with somedolphins... and that he's getting tons of responses fromthat. I've never done it myself, but it sounds like a greatidea!
***QUESTION***
Dave, love your book. I have learned more about women in the last two months than I knew in my lifetime. The teasing and being cocky/funny really turns them on. I have know this girl for some time and we were mostly friends. Just lately she said to me "I love you R,". Is it ok for me to tell her I love her too or is it better to say nothing and just smile which I did so far.
R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Take a cue from Han Solo...
Say "I know".
You might throw in a sly half-smile to let her know that you're having fun after you say it.
As far as your question of "Is it OK to tell her that Ilove her too?" I can't answer that. You're at a stagethat is past our topic here.
I think that love and relationships are great, but sincethis isn't the area that I choose to talk about, you'regoing to have to decide for yourself.
Just don't turn into a wussy... that's bad no matter what.
***COMMENT***
It seems like a lot of the guys who subscribe to your newsletter and buy the book - myself included - are average guys who have trouble with girls just because they are afraid of getting rejected. I've got an idea that might help. Get two or three good friends together and have a 'contest' where the goal is to get shot down. Spend a day or a night out in clubs, coffee shops, malls, etc. going up to girls with the sole intention of having them reject you, and whoever gets rejected the most times wins. Try out any approach - good or bad - you can think of. Be rude, crude, funny, serious, a nice guy, a jerk, whatever you want, and take notes on how the girls react. If she slaps your face, that's fine because that's the goal. And if she doesn't shoot you down, that's even better. After a night like this you'll become a bit 'numb' when you are rejected in the future, and you'll have a better understanding of how girls react to being hit on. If necessary go to a different city for the weekend and try it out there, so that you aren't afraid of running into these girls again.
- C.L.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I think that the basic idea is good, but I'd say that you'reprobably better off seeing who can get the most emailaddresses - instead of seeing who can get shut down.
If you go out with the specific idea of being rude, crude,a jerk, etc. I think you're working on the wrong outcome.
I get what you're saying about how this might make you "numb"to future rejection...
But I think you'll learn a lot more if you take the approachof "We're each going to approach 50 women today, and let'ssee who can get the most email addresses". Focus on what youwant, not what you don't want.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
First off, I want to thank you for spreading your wisdom. I bought your book two weeks ago after reading several of your newsletters, and it was the answer to most of my prayers. I've gone from dating a girl maybe two women in a year, to dating 3 women at once, all 3 call me every day, and this was before I even bought the book, just from the advice from your emails!! You have definitely "Doubled" my dating!! My question, one girl in particular I find really attractive and the most challenging (which I like) still has a "Control Freak" boyfriend, with whom I think she's afraid to break up with. He's the kind of guy that would threaten to kill himself if she were to leave him, but basically uses her for sex, and controls most aspects of her life. Should I just stop talking to her? Or keep bustin her balls about why she's still with him? Because I find myself feeling some sort of sympathy for her, and its affecting my "cocky and funny" routine (with her at least).
Thanks for your help!!
C. from MD
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Let me ask you a question...
Why in the world would you want to be with a woman who hasa "suicidal control freak" boyfriend fetish?
When you meet a woman like this, the warning bells shouldbe going off in your head... "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!"
Do yourself a HUGE favor. Find a woman who's interestingand "challenging" like her that DOESN'T have a psychoneurotic boyfriend... and don't turn into one.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
I just wanted to say thank you, from all the women out here in single land. Out of curiosity, I clicked on a link from [another website] to see what all this great advice was about. just from reading about your "kiss test" I knew you had figured it out. I like being hit on by a confident assertive man. I also like a man who can figure it out that I'm not interested. Honestly, I will fall over and spread my legs for any man that does the right things whether he's extremely attractive or not. I would never tell him how to do it. I guess that's your job. Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to thank you. I personally hope I get hit on in the grocery store by someone who has read your book!
Thanks,
K.H.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, thank you for your letter. I truly appreciate yourhonesty and directness.
Most men can't believe that what you're saying couldactually be true, but as we both know, it quite often is.
The interesting thing you say (which I agree with) is:
"I would never tell him how to do it."
In other words, A WOMAN WILL NEVER TEACH A WUSSY BOY WHODOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO THE SECRETS OF GETTING HER.
Translation for guys: If you don't know what you're doingwhen it comes to women, LEARN.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I have been reading your articles and from other guys out there trying to improve their macking skills, your articles and tips are on point on how to be a mack with the ladies, but I feel that because of a negative experiences with women in my teenage and college years, really hold me back from being the mack that is inside of me along, now in my mid-twenties, I need to get passed this negative experiences with women, I have no problem talking to women or having a conversation, but i don't have my own place, my income is very low at this moment, this make it even harder for me, could you give me some advice to get pass this fear that because i have very little now plus the past experience with women in the past, plus I live in nyc where women are into themselves, and a man without his own place, car, and little money are looked at like "why are you talkingto me, you have nothing to offer me."
M.
nyc
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, YES, there are women who will only talkto you if you have money...
BUT THIS IS NOT THE RULE... IT'S THE EXCEPTION.
If a woman feels the magical emotion of ATTRACTION, thenit matters not how much money you have.
I used to believe that it was probably only guys who hadnice cars and lots of cash got to go out with all thewomen...
But then, as I got to know more and more guys who wereVERY successful with women, I realized that it came downto their personalities more than anything else... includinglooks, height, money, etc.
In fact, MOST of the guys who I've met that are verysuccessful with women aren't rich at all.
You need to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION byusing your personality. That's the ticket.
Really.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave: I have been reading your material for a few months now. One of the best things I learned about your work is how to get e-mail addresses and phone numbers from women. I have great success at this point. This has also helped my business. I need help in two areas that involves taking it to the next level. I want to meet a nice girl and settle down. Firstly, how can I figure out which one of these girls is the BEST for me in terms of personality and chemistry. My last relationship lasted a year and a half and did not work because we were always busting each others chops.Secondly, I think there is a point when we just need to stop playing games and be nice to these women... What do you think? B. NYC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'm not the relationship expert, so I'm not going toaddress how you should choose a woman to settle down with...
But I will comment on your question of whether or not thereis a point when you should stop "playing games" and "benice to these women".
The mindset and techniques that I teach are not my idea ofa "short term technique to get laid". Once you start usingthe methods, you'll find that women respond to them on anONGOING basis. In other words, if you can keep up thecharming, Cocky and Funny attitude, it will keep a womanfeeling attracted to you FOREVER.
"Nice" is not a word that you want associated with yourself,in my opinion. Women aren't ATTRACTED to guys who are "nice".
Be interesting, unpredictable... even thoughtful and original.
But don't be NICE.
Think about it.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave, Well, let me start with my story. I'm average guy, 22 years old. I always had the fear to approach beautifulwomen. I'm funny by nature, but only with my friends. I've totally changed my behavior with women, when I've read your book. I now meet women on every step (bar, caffe, library,...), using your C&F approach and a lot of them are in my bed in a week or so. Now the only problem at the moment is, that all of those women want a commitment. But I would love to be just a "sex-buddy";). Of course, they don't want to hear about that. So after first sex, when I try to explain to her, what I want, either she gets mad and I can go ;) or I am the biggest male egoist... bla bla bla.
So, tell me, is there any way to do that with success? Tnx again,
B. from Slovenia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
If you're at that stage where you'd like to use your newlyfound success to attract only "sex buddies"... and youdon't want the women you date to think of you as their"boyfriend", then DON'T ACT LIKE ONE.
Don't call more than once or twice a week. Don't stay onthe phone for more than 5 or 10 minutes. Don't see hermore than once or twice a week.
In other words, DON'T ACT LIKE A BOYFRIEND.
I know this sounds rather simple, but think about it...
Women are just as interested in sex as men are.
In my experience, if a woman knows that you're onlyinterested in sex, she'll be OK with that.
The problems come up when you start calling all thetime, seeing her a lot, and acting like you care forher...
At this point a woman starts to become emotionallyattached to you. She thinks that you're becoming herboyfriend.
If you don't want to be a boyfriend, then don't actlike one!
***QUESTION***
Hello,
Your are the man. I have been using your cocky funny method on girls i already know and see the difference in the way they act towards me, they seem to definatly be more interested. My dilemma is that i run out of cocky comments and little jokes. For eg i went to the coffee shop yesterday with one of my buddies and there were two cute girls in front of us who smiled at us when we where in line and i looked back and smiled but i had no idea what to say to them or what to make fun of and they got what the wanted and left. I simply had no idea what funny comment to make.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Here's the answer...
List the 10 most common situations you find yourselfmeeting women in... and list 10 cocky and funny thingsto say in each situation.
Next, mentally rehearse each of the comments so youhave them ready!
If you are at the stage where Cocky and Funny doesn'tcome "naturally", then you're going to have to PRACTICE.
Why do Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods make their sportslook EASY? Why do they TOTALLY dominate all of the otherplayers around them?
Practice, of course.
Stop trying to create magic from nothing, and startpracticing. Practice makes magic.
***QUESTION***-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dave,
Because of my job, I am on the road a lot. Lots of times I like to drive with the windows down, music blasting and just taking in the sun. Many times I find myself waiting at a stop light with a good-looking girl waiting next to me. Some of these girls, we make eye contact, others just glance over. Sometimes I'll drive for miles with the same girl to the side of me. The problem is I never really know what to do next. So I guess my question to you is this: 1. How do I get her to roll down her window? 2. Once she does, what should I tell her? I drive an average car (VW Jetta) so I know they're not looking at that, but I'm just uncertain how to get her attention. Thanks for the help. R. in So Cal
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, you can have a lot of fun with this one.
I have a good friend who can't drive up next to a womanwithout flirting. He likes to "waggle his eyebrows" atevery woman he sees.
Next time you're next to a cutie, waggle your browsand wave. When she smiles, make the old fashioned motionof rolling down your window to her, and roll down yours.
Finally, take out your cel phone, point to it, and say"What's your number?"
I've done variations of this myself, and had some greatfun success with it.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
You ARE da man! Although I have not purchased the e-book yet, I will soon, as I have seen the magic work firsthand, just from the newsletters I have been getting. Check this out! About a week ago, I send an email to a totally rad chick suggesting that we meet for coffee. I used the movie "You've Got Mail" as part of my "schtick", and although it was "cute" and "funny," I realized later that it was actually quite "wussy-ish." After getting NO REPLY for almost a week, I sent her ANOTHER email, this time busting her balls a bit by saying, "Well I guess my dazzling good looks and wicked sense of humor didn't catch your fancy, eh?" The response was lightning fast and almost instantaneous!!! She wrote that she had every intention of returning my email, but she was "out of town" blah blah blah, and she would meet me for coffee sometime. I really believe that if I had not sent her that second email, I never would have gotten a reply to the first one. Here's the question (and problem): In addition to the "ball busting" in my second email, I also told her I liked her! (a big faux pas, I know, but I never expected a reply!) She had taught a class of which I was a student, and I made a comment like, "Well I'm probably not the first of your students to have a crush on the teacher." Now that the cat's out of the bag, how do I diffuse this damaging admission? I already sent her a reply email, in which I poured on the cocky/funny, but I wanted to get your input and hopefully I made the right choice by my reply.
Thanks Dave! --C.K.
San Francisco, CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol... the best thing you can do is GO MEET 10 MORE WOMEN!!!
Duh!
And what are you doing writing to me asking for advice onhow to un-screw-up your situation... and you haven't evenread my book? Go to http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/NOW and get it. You are doing great, you just need to getsome of the details together.
And as for your teacher, STOP SAYING THAT YOU LIKE HER!And start acting like the Cocky and Funny guy that makeher respond to you!
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
I just started receiving your newsletter. And I was just curious about the letters that are coming in. Are these letters from real guys or is it something that 's written by your staff just to sell your ebook? I can't honestly believe a book can really do that much for a guy. I get another newsletter on dating women and this guy doesn't seem to profess the "cocky" attitude you write about.
Anyway, just to let you know who I am. I am a 50 yr young man. I'm 5'7" , good shape and health. Have all my hair and teeth. I'm a nice guy but I want to shed that image but not be an asshole if you know what I mean. I don't want to even tell you how long it's been since I've been laid. Can your book really help a guy like me. I've been going on the online dating seen but don't always see what I want which is a sexy young woman. Also, how young can I acceptably go. Anything you can tell me would be a help.
Sign me,
Not getting enough
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I love letters like this one...
OK, to answer your first question... EVERY SINGLE LETTERTHAT I PRINT IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY NEWSLETTERS ISREAL. I NEVER INVENT THEM.
I have every one of the originals saved to prove it.
To answer one of your comments of "I can't believe thata book can really do that much for a guy"...
IT CAN'T. The BOOK isn't what does it.
It's a combination of the material in the book andactually TAKING ACTION ON IT AND USING IT.
It's taken me YEARS of trial and error... trying justabout everything under the sun to learn the things thatI've put in my book. I really went out there and didthe work. I tried and tested everything I could find.
I think it's the best investment you'll ever make inyour dating life, personally.
And hey, it comes with a simple money-back guarantee:
If you're not 100% satisfied with your purchase, justemail and ask for a refund.... AND YOU CAN KEEP THEBOOK AND BONUSES FOR YOUR HASSLE.
I want you to write me a success story in the future,not ask for your money back!
So do yourself a favor, and get it while the gettin'sgood...
And if you're reading this right now, and it's time forYOU to get this part of your life handled... and finallystart enjoying the kind of success with women that you'veonly dreamed about it the past, just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...and download it now.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
Q&A: HOW DO I GET HER TO COME HOME WITH ME?***QUESTION***
Again, you're da man! I've found a new bar and grill here inMiami where all of these HOT college girls hang out at. I'vebeen using you're C & F approach to get the conversationgoing with these hot chicks and 9 times out of 10 they fallfor it every time. After about 5 minutes into theconversation, they get this look on their face like "I can'tbelieve I've been actually talking to this guy this long". Imean... look at me, I'm not buffed out or have killer abs,just your average Joe. But then it gets better, with mostof these girls the conversation gets so funny and cute andso comfortable that I take it to the next level "The KissingTest". That's right! I'm sometimes kissing on the lips(sometimes with my tongue down their throats) HOT CHICKS inpublic! (I used to watch other guys do this and be enviousof them, I used to be a playa-hater) And sometimes ithappens twice or even three times with 2 or three differentgirls. This especially happens when I'm freak dancing andteasing some hot chic. I'm just waiting to take some ofthese girls home from this new bar that I've been hangingout at.
I have just 2 questions for ya...
1) I seem to be more successful after a nice haircut andtrimmed mustache and goa-tee and putting on a nice shirtfor clubbing. I know women look at physical afterpersonality but let me ask you aren't looks or appearancestill important to enhance the C & F?
2) Once the conversation is comfortable enough to where weare actually 2 strangers kissing in public (one HOT CHICKand one Average Joe) what can I say to get her to go homewith me?
Thanks...
V.K.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're a very, very bad man.
Kissing women you've just met on the lips?
In public?
You gotta love that.
And you're not rich or handsome? I don't believe it!
Of course, I've seen things like this happen so manytimes that I actually DO believe it. In fact, most guyswould be very surprised if they realized just how openmany women are to kissing and "getting physical" whenthey meet the right guy.
On to your questions...
ON LOOKS
As far as I'm concerned, LOOKS MATTER.
But interestingly enough, they matter for a differentreason than most guys think.
You see, women are always reading into things. They'retrying to figure out what things MEAN.
If a woman asks you if you have a close relationshipwith your mom, she's not making casual conversation... shewants to get deeper insight into how you handlerelationships. Are you with me?
My personal perspective is that IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'VE GOT,IT'S HOW YOU USE IT. In other words, it's more important totake care of yourself than it is to be naturally tall,handsome, etc.
If you want to take your success with women up a notch ortwo, I definitely think that it's a good idea to payattention to the personal presentation.
You don't have to go overboard and get plastic surgery,liposuction, and hair implants, but a little attention todetail can go a looooong way.
Think about it...
Generally, a stylish haircut doesn't cost any more thanan outdated haircut... but they say two completely differentthings about you.
Clothes that fit correctly and flatter your particularbody type don't cost more...
Confident, dominant posture and slow, unhurried movementsdon't require any more energy...
But all of these things, especially when combined andused with other simple ideas can make a HUGE difference.
So to answer your question: Yes, looks can make adifference to your success. If you have such a strong andattractive personality that you attract women no matterwhat, then you can look however you want. But if you're aregular guy like me, then do everything you can. I mean,hey... it really doesn't cost anything to look your best!And women definitely notice.
ON GETTING WOMEN TO COME HOME WITH YOU
My focus isn't on "getting laid" alone, but I have a fewideas that can help you.
A good friend once told me that a woman won't really wantto come DIRECTLY home with you. Women like to feel likethey've "been out" with you first.
So, to answer this concern, he goes out with women on"mini dates" as soon as he meets them.
So, for instance, he might meet a woman at a bar or anightclub. Maybe they've had a few drinks together anddanced a few times... and things are going well.
He might suggest that they go to ANOTHER bar that'sclose by...
When they leave TOGETHER and arrive at the other barTOGETHER they are now "TOGETHER". It creates a completelydifferent psychological setting and comfort level.
When they first met, they were just two people thathappened to be at the same bar. When they got to thenext bar, they were kind of "out on a date".
To a woman, this is a HUGE difference.
Then, after spending some time at the next bar (it'slate by this point), he'll ask her for a ride home, ormaybe suggest that she come over for a drink.
Because they've now "been out together" she tends tofeel a lot more comfortable coming over.
I usually recommend that guys approach women, get theiremail and number, and move on. You can get 5 or 10 emailsand numbers in an evening, and then have dates during theweek (where you don't have to deal with distractions,competition, etc.).
But if you're at the point where you're confident in yourskills, and this is what you want, then try the technique Ijust explained. I know more than one guy that uses it, andit seems to be a big winner.
And, if you're NOT at the point where you are confidentin your skills, then you need to get my online eBook"Double Your Dating", and read every single page. It willteach you all the secrets your mom and dad never told youabout... and show you how to have success with women thatyou only dreamed possible.
In my book I talk more about how to improve yourappearance, how to dress, and even what types of colognesto wear...
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
DATING TIP: REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ATTRACTS WOMENWe all know what Reverse Psychology is, right?
Try this one on...
I once read that the surgeon general's warning oncigarette packages may be one of the reasons why cigarettesare so POPULAR.
Here's the logic: When a person sees that warning that istelling them that it's dangerous to smoke, they think tothemselves "Hey, I'm living in the fast lane and I canhandle the danger... I'll show everyone how cool I am bysmoking these dangerous cigarettes..."
Interesting idea, isn't it?
Well, it doesn't really matter if you believe thatparticular example. What does matter is that you learnhow to use the idea of Reverse Psychology to youradvantage when it comes to your success with women.
Reverse Psychology is powerful because it GOES AGAINSTCOMMON LOGIC AND REASONING. Because of this, it's notusually obvious (unless you make it obvious).
One of my favorite ways to use Reverse Psychology isin situations with attractive women.
Most guys don't really think about the fact that mostattractive women are being told ALL THE TIME that they arebeautiful, attractive, stunning, etc.
And they don't realize that when they give an attractivewoman a compliment, it often backfires on them becausethey are INSTANTLY seen as being the SAME as all the otherguys out there.
We humans like unique, interesting things... we don't likethe same old same old.
Let me ask you: Would you like to eat the same thing everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? I mean, even if yougot to have your very favorite food for all three meals itwould get old very fast.
The same goes here. Let me explain...
Let's say you're standing in line at the bank next to a stunning woman. What would be the best approach to use toopen a conversation and get an email address, phone numberor a date?
Well, what most guys do is either:
1) Do nothing because they don't know what to do.
2) Say "You're beautiful" just like all the other guys.
3) Say "I'll bet you have a boyfriend, huh?"
Bad, bad, bad.
It would be MUCH better to say "Your shoe is untied" oreven "What time is it?" than any of these common, lame,predictable comments or questions.
You probably realize that most of your communication isnot the words you use, but the body language and voicetone that you use.
Well, it's important when you're meeting a woman for thefirst time to stay cool, calm, and collected... and to EVEN DO THINGS THAT SUGGEST THAT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED.
This will make her say "Hey, this guy isn't trying tohorn in on me... he seems DIFFERENT."
You can then continue to do one of my favorite things ofall time, and say "Hey, you seem nice... like you mightmake a nice FRIEND. Give me your number and I'll call you next week and maybe we can be FRIENDS."
I hope you understand what I'm saying here. By being unusual and challenging, you immediately separateyourself from the 'average' guy who just acts allstarstruck.
Now, this is just one example, and there are many exceptions to this idea. If you look like Brad Pitt youcan say anything you want. And this type of approachworks best on VERY ATTRACTIVE women.
Now that you have the idea, how can you adapt it toyour particular situation? Take some time to think aboutit, and I think that you'll realize that you can usereverse psychology in many different situations toseparate yourself from the crowd.
In my book "Double Your Dating" I dedicate an entiresection describing the exact character traits andtechniques that help to separate you from all the otherguys in the world.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...for all the details.
I'll talk to you soon.
Your friend,
David D.www.doubleyourdating.com
P.S. When you come to my website, make sure to read thesample section about teasing to learn more about how touse Reverse Psychology.
MAILBAG: HOW TO AVOID BEING "JUST FRIENDS"***QUESTION***
I started to talk to this girl that i met when i went out with one of my friends' brother. we went down town and hung out. everything was going good and i got her # by the end of the night. We hung out the next weekend and went to a club. we got in the club and she asked for 6 dollars to by her a drink. I asked her "what do i get out of it?" and there was the laugh and then i decided to give her the money. after the club i took her home with my friend and her friend. I asked her for a Kiss goodbye she gave it to me. Then i told her that i was goin to call her the next week because i knew of a party the following week. After calling her next week i had trouble getting ahold of her and she didn't pick up her cell phone. It has been about 2 weeks since i have talked to her. And the weekend that she was suppose to hang out has just passed. Do u see a problem in this or if i messed up some where?
thank you
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, as a matter of fact, I do see a problem.
What are you doing giving a woman six bucks for a drink?
You were SOOO right no target when you answered with "What doI get out of it?" SHE LOVED IT!
But then you had to go and SCREW IT ALL UP by giving her themoney... ouch.
When she laughed you should have said "Well?"
And WHATEVER she answered with, you should have said:
"SORRY, not good enough... buy your own drink."
STOP TRYING TO BUY ATTENTION FROM WOMEN.
It makes you look like a WUSSY SCHMUCK BOY.
Oh, and will someone remind me to practice being more honestand direct with people? I sometimes feel that I'm too shyand don't want to hurt their feelings...
***QUESTION***
David,
I have been trying your cocky and funny stuff it works like a charm But theres a problem with this one chick that i like she is a flirt. whenever im around her she always be flirting with me but the only problem is that i dont know how to take the next step. if i take the next step im afraid that shell probably move away. i dont wanna feel like a dic*. so i wanna know how should i make a move on her and not getting rejected. (I really need your advice)
-Student in NY, 21 years old
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I feel your pain on this one.
For the most part, men are expected to take ALL THE RISK ofbeing rejected at EVERY IMPORTANT STEP from the first meetingto the bedroom.
And we always know when one of those risky situations isstaring us right between the eyes...
"Should I kiss her? Maybe she's not ready and I'll screw upALL of my chances with her."
"Should I call her so soon? What will she think?"
"How should I ask her out?"
...I get it. These are what I call "Critical Moments" or"Moments Of Truth."
If you don't know how to handle each of them, you're VERYlikely to get hung up, not know what to do, and wind upnot doing ANYTHING to avoid the chance of screwing up.
Of course, not doing anything usually leads to a womanthinking "He's a Wussy... can't even kiss me."
And on the other side, if you're too aggressive and "fast"for her you might offend her and scare her off... RIGHT?
My solution is to create "Bridges" to get you from oneCritical Moment to the next... smoothly.
There are things you can do at each step that make itNATURAL for things to progress.
Try this: Sit down with a piece of paper and write downten ways that you can "Take the next step" in any givensituation. Then choose the one or two that you think willwork best, and mentally rehearse them until you canCLEARLY SEE how they'll work in your mind's eye.
OR, you can download a copy of my eBook "Double YourDating". It comes with a bonus booklet called "Bridges"which contains my favorite ways to take things fromone step to the next...
***QUESTION*** I recently have had several of the same experiences in the club/bar scene. I'll get a nice conversation going with a girl. We will have a few drinks, laugh and seem to connect. This dance goes on for awhile. Out of nowhere the girl will say that she is tired and leave. What does this mean? How does a woman communicate that she wants you to leave with here? GC, WashDC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
It means that you should STOP doing the following:
1) Having "nice" conversation.
2) Having a few drinks.
3) Laugh and "seem to connect".
And you should START doing the following:
1) Focus on getting emails and phone numbers, not getting"nice conversation."
2) Avoid "having drinks". Instead have FOCUS (on youroutcome of getting her info).
3) Talk for a minute or two, then tell her that it wasnice meeting her, but you're going to get back to yourfriends. Then turn around and say "Hey! Do you haveemail?" Take out a pen and have her write it down.
When you're at a club, it's SOOOOO much easier to get10 emails and numbers, then follow up later than to tryto land the big fish that night. Once you're the super-duper-mack-daddy-from-hell you can go back to chat anddrinks... but for now get the info!
You'll find that things work a lot better when you'rehaving a conversation with her ALONE over a cup of tearather than in a loud bar full of sexually frustrated,drunk men who want to show off and fight over women.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
After reading your emails for a few months. I decidedto go the whole hog and buy your book. I have had somesuccess, after reading your book. I have come overmost of my fear about talking to woman. I did get onegirl's number, but it was a message service. I triedcalling her a few times. But never got hold of her. Ihave also just gone to the local bar, with the idea:"Ok i am not looking for a girlfriend, i am just goingto have a good time. Be cocky and funny..." so far i amgetting mixed reactions. So i have a couple of questions.
1) With the girl, who gave me her message servicenumber and situations like this how many time wouldyou say call. Before you say she is not interested -Next. ( I did leave cocky funny messages )
2) The area i live in, the girls always wanting toknow my age. As per-book. I have tried to avoid adirect answer. How about a cocky funny response, as itried a few of my own. But so far nothing works.
Many Thanks,
Nice Guy on the Jedi Road.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
As for the girl who gave you the "message service", youneed to interpret that as follows:
She didn't find you interesting enough to give you herREAL number. That's OK, you're doing a great job... butyou need to get EMAILS and REAL NUMBERS in the future.
One thing you can do is say "Is this a phone that youactually answer in person?" If not, then give it backto her and say "It's OK, give me your number."
When a woman asks your age, just say "Old enough toknow better than answer a question like that one...how old are YOU?"
If they insist, just add 20 to your age and tell themthat. Be serious about it and really bust their balls.
Keep it up, you're probably close to a breakthrough!
***QUESTION***
David, "the Man" Cocky funny works like magic. I was trying to pick up a former Teacher Assistant of mine at university for about a year. Sending nice email after nice email, and getting totally stood up and/or blown off. So I took the cf to the extreme. "I know you'rescared of meeting such an intelligent charismatic rockstar like myself, because you'll fall so hopelessly in love you couldn't take the rejection, fall into habitual drinking, and eventually kill yourself... but really its okay I'll treat you like an ass and you'llhate me, and life will go on" Totally worked, the nextweek she met me, and we hit it off really well, I kept upthe cf routine and we've been having a blast together.
My question is last night she really needed someone to talk to, a lot of personal family issues to deal with. Of course I lent and ear and in the end she felt a lot better. But back when I was a wussy I used to do this for women all the time, and as you can quite well imagine I was always the 'friend'. Any thoughts?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is an AWESOME example of how to be COCKY AND FUNNY!
You're the man. My hero even.
To answer your question...
This is one of those issues that doesn't have a "right"answer, but in GENERAL it's not a good idea to be the"girlfriend" early on in the game.
After date number 10 do whatever you want. (In otherwords, it's safer to help her with a situation like thiswithout being unconsciously thought of as "girlfriend-man" later in the relationship. Just don't do it toooften or you'll become a Wuss candidate.)
Here's a good way to deal with "a woman that you'regetting to know who wants help with her problems":
As soon as you hear the "I have a problem and wantsomeone to talk to about it" tone of voice, IMMEDIATELYask "Is this something you want to solve or is itsomething you want to just TALK about?"
If she just wants to TALK about it, say "I'll tell youwhat, I think that you'd be better off talking to agirlfriend about this, because I don't want to turninto an old married couple so soon."
There's a fine line between being a cold human beingand letting her know that you're not her personalfree therapist.
Personal free therapists who "listen" are thought of asWUSSY-BOY-GIRLIE-MAN-FRIENDS (as you well know)... andtheir behavior doen NOT create ATTRACTION.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN*** Hi, i'm M. (from Italy: here to visit my family), I'm 23 college student / waitress; judging by the e-mails you been sending my brother about picking up women, it seems as if you know what you're talking about, but being a women I usually rely on guys just approaching me, but there's a problem. Although I get my share of guys approaching me, there is always one that I would have my eye on that will NOT approach me... this seems to be happening time and time again. I don't know if you're an expert on THIS side of the field but I try to get his attention by going a little closer, but it doesn't seem to work. This is extremely frustrating to me, if you gave me any explanation I would be very happy.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Sorry, but I'm only using your email for the benefit ofmyself and my MALE readers... lol. (Maybe I'll find itin my heart to give you some advice after I'm finishedtaking ruthless advantage of you...)
This email is very interesting to me because I have afew friends who are VERY good with women who haveSTOPPED APPROACHING WOMEN ALTOGETHER.
That's right, they don't approach women anymore, butthey're AMAZINGLY successful with them.
These guys have taken their skills, personalities, bodylanguage, and communication skills to a level wherewomen actually want them before they've even spoken!
I'm betting that the men that this 23 year old Italiancollege student/waitress is referring to have somethingabout them that is MORE than just their "looks". (By theway, if you're reading this right now, please email meagain to confirm this)...
See, women are about ten times better at using bodylanguage to communicate than men.
Next time you're out with a woman, point to a coupleand say "What's going on between them". You won'tbelieve all the body language she'll point out andthen interpret for you.
The point I'm trying to make here is that you can goBEYOND just learning techniques to "approach" women.You can actually learn how to get them to approachyou... really. It's all about body language... andhow you use it to communicate all the time (becauseyou are, in fact, communicating at all times... youcan't NOT communicate).
And as for you, my poor Italian 23 year old collegestudent and waitress...
Just walk up to a guy and say "Give me your number...and MAYBE I'll call you sometime."
***QUESTION***
OK Dave, I have read all these news letters and it sounds interesting... but, I don't want a girl. I DON'T WANT A BOY EITHER BY THE WAY! I want a woman! These tactics seem so juvenile and childish. Something that a high schooler would be intrigued by. What's in it for the guy that is not into child's play. Other useful information is how many megs of memory do I need to get all the "books"? gj
>>>MY COMMENTS:
LOL! [That's "laughing out loud" in internet-talk]
What are you doing whining about the techniques beforeyou've even tried them!?
From your short email I can guess the following:
1) You don't have a lot of success with women.
2) You over-analyse things instead of just going outthere and trying them yourself.
3) You need to download a copy of my book before youdie of no-date-itis (It's less than a meg total, not ahuge file at all). http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
The concepts work with women of all ages. Will you doyourself a favor and quit arguing in your mind... andget out there and TRY IT!
***QUESTION***
I bought the book, and it makes a lot of sense. Would you give some examples of how an online meeting/conversation on a personals board might go? I need a little help in the imagination department.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Sure. As a matter of fact, let me tease you a bit...
In my Los Angeles seminar last month, I included a wholesection on meeting women online (to go along with the portionof the seminar where I TAUGHT everyone how to do it)...
I included several examples of things I've done PERSONALLY,with exact transcripts, profiles, etc. Here's a little pieceof a conversation I had online with a woman awhile back,right from the workbook:
HER: what do you look like ME: I'm 4' 11 and I weigh 345 HER: lol, what ever ME: I have long facial hair and a hairy back tooHER: what do you really look like ME: Hold a sec. HER: k ME: Read your mail HER: not bad ME: I don't recall asking for your opinion
...that's a little example of how I communicate with womenonline. You need to be EXTREME with the humor online. Reallyturn it up. The message you're communicating is "I must bea pretty confident and interesting guy to say that I'm fourfoot eleven and weigh 345..." Get it?
Try being over-the-top Cocky and Funny. It's fun, and it workslike a charm.
***QUESTION***
hi David
I am an 18 yr old who thinks u are the BOMB. You have given true Players a voice.. you are the "MESSENGER". I have been reading your newsletters for over 7 months now and you are spot on. This is the deal, there is this really beautiful blonde i have been friends with for a while now I see her out a lot at clubs(College). she always wants to dance with me (i am a decent dancer) i have been cocky funny la la the works but now i am in trouble, this girl fancies me and i know it, how do i work it so that i remain in control of the situation without getting to WUSSY ?
M.N from London
>>>MY COMMENTS:
If you start to feel the INNER WUSS coming out, just rememberto LEAN BACK. Call less, see her less, and make yourself alittle less available.
Attractive women are used to being approached and pursuedall the time... you need to be different.
Of course, when you're alone with her, you need to take thingsto the next level, and always advance.
But don't turn into a needy, clingy, emotional wreck.
Remember, LEAN BACK when you feel the INNER WUSS coming out.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
First thanks for taking the time to be the # 1 male to get enough balls to figure out women a little better to make it easier on the rest of us. I'm 21 yrs.old and since I got your book i've been steadily increasing my dates w/college girls at my university. My question though is: I go to the college bars thurs-sat w/my buddies and we always talk to as many girls in the bar as possible. The problem is all the other guys are doin the same thing. I use your technique to be cocky+funny, and get a number or e-mail address, but the girls have talked to so many guys and after all they drink they don't remember which guy I was even though I made a good connection. Any tips?
Sincerely,
UD
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yep, got a great tip for you...
Don't worry about the other guys. They don't matter.
What matters is that you use what you learned in the bookwhen you FOLLOW UP.
Sending interesting, funny follow-up emails is a KEY togetting women to meet up with you again.
"Hey, nice meeting you last night. I think that you MIGHTjust be more than an another pretty face... let's gettogether for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversationthis week."
Are you with me?
49 out of 50 of the other guys there either won't get herEMAIL address, won't follow up, won't remember anything aboutthe girl, or will send a DUMB-ASS message...
If you do the right things over and over, you will findsuccess VERY often.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Thanks, I have more self confidence than ever. I'm meeting tons of 7's and 8's. When I go out with friends they get pissed at me for "showing off." I have no problem meeting, dating, and getting women home. In fact, some of my friends have nicknamed me the "Pu$$y Patrol." (joke or no joke, I'll take it as a compliment)
To everybody out there, Cocky/Funny is the key. BUY THE BOOK!!!!!
Here's my question. Lately for some reason, I've had a little difficulty sealing the deal. I've had two 8's in my bedroom this week (today is friday). Door locked, hot & heavy. Somehow, I'm batting 0 for 2 this week I keep on hearing from the girl, "Lets take it slower." and "I don't want to be that girl." How do I overcome these challenges. B/c I believe its sort of like the final test that I must pass. And apparently, I'm failing.
I need help ASAP my Avg is suffering,
"Pu$$y Patrol"
Cincinnati
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, when you downloaded my eBook "Double Your Dating" youalso got three bonus reports. One of them was called "SexSecrets- How To Turn A Woman On, Satisfy Her In A Big Way,And Get Her To Do The Things You've Always Wanted".
In that booklet I describe a sequence for REALLY gettingher aroused... and I mean REALLY.
You need to learn how to build anticipation and thenAMPLIFY it. It's really pretty simple once you're to thisstage... and ANTICIPATION is the key.
Again, read the report. It's the way.
...Well, hasn't this been an interesting one...
As always, if you're just learning about some of my ideasand you'd like to really start being more successful withwomen and dating, you need to read my book. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
and download your copy. It's the very best place to start,and you'll get a great education in how to start meetingand dating the kinds of women that you've always wanted.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe SPECIFICS... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!
SHE SAYS: "I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND"***QUESTION***
Hello,
My name is O. im 20 years old, living inCyprus. Actually in my college i got interested to agal.
She was also good with me and many times didsomethings that means, at least for me, she isinterested to me too. Recently I got her mobile numberand i called her the day after it and she talked to menormally BUT after a few days when i called her againshe did not answered to my call (she didnt pick themobile up). then I sent her this SMS:
Without U life is Black not White.Without U the worldhas no hope,no light.Without U I cant go left orright.Without U I lose my sight.THANK U MY GLASSES!
I called her 2 or 3 times after it in 3 days but shedidnot answered again.Then I sent her this SMS: DAYS R 2 BUSY HOURS R 2 FAST SECONDS R 2 FEW BUT THERE IS ALWAYS TIME 4 ME 2 REMEMBER YOU!
2 days after it I again called her and this time shedidnot pickup the phone as well,So I decided to sayher every thing and tell her the truth and at least Iwill know is she really likes me or not,then i senther this message:
Hello my A.,I sent you lots of messages BUT youdid not answered to me.Im worry about you,is everything all right? I want to tell you a truth... I like you, in fact I love you. You are always in mymind,you are everywhere,I never forget you...I REALLYMISS YOU!
Then, after 2 hours she replyed me with this message:
Hey O. I got all your messages I'm all right
With this message she told me that she doesnot want tobe my girl friend so in reply to her I wrote this(Isaid good bye):
Thanks for answering.I hope you be successful in yourlife everywhere with anybody and thanks for everything 'cause you taught me many things!
I was not expecting any reply from her but she sentthis sms right after my sms:
I enjoy being your friend.I WISH U THE BEST.Have anice holiday.Sorry if I made u feel bad:(
did not send her any sms but after 2 days she sent methis sms, which really made me quite confused:
* * * * * * * * * * * *....FRIENDS are like stars.... you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are ALWAYS there!!!
I really need your advise. The girl who did not EVENwanted to answer to my calls now sends me suchmessages!
Now,I beg you please tell me what does she mean bythese words? and What should I do?
I really loved her but when she told me that she wantjust to be my friend,however,it was hard for me tobelieved but I accepted it and said goodbye to herwith my last message.But as you can see....!!!!
I need your idea totally,What do think about her? and IF you suggest me tocontinue being her friend What should I do now aftersending that goodbye sms? What should I reply to herlast message,what should I told her? honestly, I stilllike her! but I think Im not sure is she playing withme? and the last question, If she want me just asfriend Am I so important for her that she do not wantto lose me? and Why?
I'm looking forward to hear from you. Please tell mewhat do you think about her from her messages.
Very Sincerely Yours,
O.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Even though you live all the way on the other side ofthe world from me in Cyprus, I can still feel your pain.
I think that probably every man can identify with thefollowing sequence:
1) Meet girl.
2) Get along well with girl.
3) Feel attracted to girl and think she is attracted to you.
4) Tell girl that you like her (after getting up the nerve).
5) Girl disappears.
6) Call girl 47 times, but still no response.
7) Finally girl turns up and says "I only like you as a friend and sorry if I hurt you".
...Ouch. I know it's a bummer, but you might take comfortknowing that this has happened to me and just about everyguy I know MANY times.
Let me take a shot at explaining what's going on here,and hopefully help you and the others reading this to avoidthis kind of thing as much as possible in the future.
From my perspective, there are a few main issues going onhere all at once...
1) Women are complex and often illogical (so are men, but in different ways).
2) Women are attracted to men for reasons that most men either don't know, don't understand, or won't accept.
3) The way that women communicate isn't always as "direct and straightforward" as most of us guys would like.
4) It's difficult to un-do one of these situations once it has reached this point.
5) There are things you can do to avoid this kind of thing in the future.
So, let's deal with these one at a time as they relateto your situation...
1) Women are complex and often illogical (so are men, but in different ways).
Women act on emotion and intuition more than men. Theydon't do the "logical" thing as often as men.
Women walk into Starbucks and order a "fat free" cafemocha, and then get WHIPPED CREAM on top. No kidding. Isee it all the time...
Women will go through a full closet of clothing tryingto choose something to wear to the supermarket, thenconclude that "there's nothing to wear in here"...
Women spend $200.00 on shoes that are going to be worna few times...
Again, man have their bizarre behaviors, and I'm nottrying to "badmouth" women... but in my experience womenare usually not very LOGICAL about things... and they'reESPECIALLY illogical when it comes to relationships.
Men are perfectly logical. They want to have sex witheverything. Women aren't. They only want to have sex withmen who DON'T want to have sex with them. LOL!
My point is that you have to put your ideas about howthings "should" be OUT OF YOUR MIND. Start a new way ofthinking about things based on REALITY and not LOGIC.
2) Women are attracted to men for reasons that most men either don't know, don't understand, or won't accept.
As I like to say, "Attraction Isn't A Choice".
We don't think about who we'd like to feel attractionfor, it just happens on it's own in most cases.
But the thing to remember is that ATTRACTION has apattern. It's like a combination lock or a puzzle. Thereis a way to create it if you know the "recipe". On theother hand, if you DON'T know the recipe, then you're notlikely to figure it out by trial and error. And the reasonfor this -- again -- is because IT'S NOT LOGICAL.
While men are attracted mostly to LOOKS, women areattracted mostly to PERSONALITY TRAITS.
In your situation, you displayed the personality traitthat I refer to as WUSSY a little too early in the game.
Women generally aren't attracted to men who get toolovey-dovey and emotional too quickly. There's not mysteryor challenge when you fall in love immediately.
And when you call 31 times a day, it only makes theproblem worse. What you need to do in these situations isLEAN BACK more and give her some space. Give her room tothink about you and miss you.
3) The way that women communicate isn't always as "direct and straightforward" as most of us guys would like.
If a woman wants to tell you that she isn't interested inyou in a romantic way, she'll often NOT tell you as her wayof telling you. In other words, she might just disappear forawhile. Or she might not return calls quickly. Or she mighttalk about other guys with you...
Once again, you have to put the concept of pure,rational LOGIC out of your mind when it comes to the worldof ATTRACTION.
Women are subtle. They read into things and try totell you things indirectly. Women don't generally take whatyou say at face value. They want to know what everythingREALLY means.
If you meet a girl, and after the first date you say "Ireally like you, you're beautiful and I have feelings foryou" they think you said "I'm a Wuss because I fall in lovetoo quickly".
On the other hand, if you say "Good night, give me a callsometime" she'll think you said "You were kind of boring,and if you want to talk to me again you're going to have tocall me".
4) It's difficult to un-do one of these situations once it has reached this point.
Unfortunately, once a woman has "made up her mind" abouta guy, it's usually VERY difficult to change that mind.
If you're in a situation like this where a woman hassaid "I only like you as a friend", then you're best offgoing out and meeting some other women, and getting onwith your life IMMEDIATLY! Don't wait. Get on with it.
If you disappear from HER life, then turn up a monthor two later... and you're dating a few other attractivewomen... she might see you in a new light.
Jealousy is a VERY powerful motivator to women, andthis is often what it takes to get a woman to see you ina new light once you've let out your INNER-WUSSY too earlyin the game.
Point: Don't try to un-do it. Just get on with yourlife and quit obsessing over her.
5) There are things you can do to AVOID this kind of thing in the future.
The most important step you can take is to LEARN HOWATTRACTION WORKS! You need to learn this game so you knowwhat's happening in future situations... and, mostimportantly you know what to do to make women feel attractedto you from the beginning (and, of course, how to NOT letyour inner WUSS rear its ugly head too often).
As you know, some of my favorite ways to do this are bybeing Cocky and Funny, teasing women, busting on them in aparticular way, playing hard to get, etc.
But if you want to learn how ATTRACTION works and tomake it work for YOU, then YOU'RE going to have to go outand do it. No one else is going to do it for you.
...and if you want to learn all of MY very best secretsand techniques, then you MUST download a copy of my onlineeBook "Double Your Dating". It's jam packed with all of thethings it's taken me literally YEARS to learn about how tomake women feel ATTRACTION for you.
I did the trial-and-error thing. I tried all kinds ofstuff. In fact, I've probably tried more different ideas formeeting women than anyone I know.
The real shift towards success came when I started makingfriends with guys who were very successful with women... andthen watching what they did in person.
I found that these guys did things that THEY WEREN'T EVENaware of... things that made women literally pursue THEM. Ithen took all of this information, and combined it with theother things I had learned... I worked like a mad scientistfor a few years on this because I really wanted to get thisarea of my life figured out.
Well, as you can imagine, I developed some prettyamazing techniques for meeting women, getting emails andphone numbers, taking things to a "physical" level, andeverything in between.
My eBook "Double Your Dating" is the best of the bestof those ideas, all explained in detail. I personally useevery idea, concept, and technique in that book in my ownpersonal life. It's not a bunch of BS techniques cutand pasted together.
If you want to really take your success with women tothe next level, then it's a "must read". Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and download your copy. It's the best possibleinvestment you can make in your dating future.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
DATING TIP: GETTING OVER FEAR OF WOMEN
To me, "Fear Of Women" is a particularly interestingchallenge to me. It's interesting for a few reasons:
1) As men, we're expected to overcome fear, slay dragons,and generally act tough in the face of those things thatcause us to fear.
2) Men like to act "tough". They don't like to admit thatthey need help. Us guys want to do it ourselves. We seeneeding help as a sign of weakness, which we think is BAD.
3) When you combine these two things, you get a man who isafraid of something that he LOGICALLY shouldn't be afraidof (it doesn't make sense to fear a woman), but who isunwilling to admit that he has the fear - which leads to astate of "quiet desperation". It's a trap, and there's noway out.
And to confuse matters further, we get messages like "Bemore confident" all the time - as if this thing called"confidence" is the solution to fear (and in this case,fear of women).
I dealt with this issue personally for several years.
If I was out and saw a woman that I wanted to meet, Iwould get instantly nervous and fearful. I had no idea whatto say or do, and it would LOCK ME UP.
I decided that the problem I was dealing with was my "lowconfidence", so I set to work to gain more.
I assumed that if I could get more confidence in myself,that my fear and nervousness would go away, and I would beable to just walk up and start conversations without anyproblem at all.
After reading several books on the topic, and trying allkinds of things to raise my confidence level, I WAS STILLHAVING THE PROBLEM.
Around this same time, I was getting to know a lot ofguys who were successful with women. I found somethingVERY interesting: Many of the guys who are good with womenstill get nervous when they approach them! They have justlearned how to manage that little biological nervousnessand get on with what they want to do in the situation.
This was a major revelation to me.
Just realizing this allowed me to think from a newperspective. It also made it "all right" for me to go andapproach women, even though I was still getting nervous.
And, by approaching a lot of women, I became veryfamiliar with the situations, which led to my nervousnessgetting less and less...
All of these things led me to a personal realization:
FOR ME, IT WASN'T ABOUT GETTING MORE CONFIDENCE, IT WASABOUT REDUCING MY INSECURITY.
In other words, instead of trying to get this "thing"called confidence, I started working on eliminating mypersonal insecurities.
I began to realize that the reason I was gettingnervous was because at an unconscious level, I wasPERCEIVING that:
-She has the power, I have no power.-She has what I want, I have nothing she wants.-She is attractive, I am average.-I want her, she doesn't even know who I am.-I will be interrupting her if I start talking.-I don't deserve a woman like that.
It was all about insecurity, uncertainty, seeing myselfas less than her, and thinking that as an attractive womanshe has no reason to be interested in me.
In my mind, I was always trying to think of some kindof unique, original thing to say so I would IMPRESS her...and she could see me as the interesting, creative guy thatI imagined she wanted.
Well, after working on this for a long time, I have cometo the following NEW realizations:
1) The opposite of fear isn't confidence. The opposite offear is absence of fear.
2) Confidence can help, but it isn't the only answer to thisparticular issue.
3) The MAJOR issue is insecurity. Once a person can get pasttheir insecurity, they are more free to develop and succeed.
4) The only power a woman has over you is that which yougive her - either on a conscious level or on an unconsciouslevel.
5) If you have issues with fear, nervousness, insecurity,etc., it's a good idea to put aside your tough, manly,"I don't need any help" side, and go find a solution.
ABOUT CONFIDENCE
If you want to go to the extra effort to cultivate actualCONFIDENCE, then you need to realize something: Confidenceisn't a THING, it's a SKILL and a complex emotional/physicalstate that can be learned, which can then be transferred intoan unconscious state and state of mind.
But there is another side to things...
WATCH OUT with confidence, because humans that becomeconfident often become intoxicated with their new-foundpower, and they over-use or even abuse it. Overconfidenceleads to real arrogance... and to the dark side. So ifyou're going to learn how to be confident, learn how to doit in a way that respects other people, not in a way thatturns them into objects for you to manipulate.
As you learn these skills, don't get addicted to your ownpower and let it turn you into a manipulator.
GETTING PAST INSECURITY
So how do you go about getting past insecurity?
Great questions... and I have an exercise for you to use:
1) Go out and talk to 100 women over the next 30 days, andkeep a record of everything that happens. Talk to 3 newwomen every day for 30 days.
2) DON'T make any attempts to pursue these women in aromantic way. In fact, make sure you approach each situationwith the idea that you are NOT going to have anyinteractions with the woman ever again.
3) Your only objective when talking to one of these 100women is to MAKE THEM SMILE. A good friend of mine who goesby the nickname of "Orion" taught me this. Your goal is togive each woman the gift of a smile.
4) After making 100 women smile WITHOUT THE POSSIBLITY THATANYTHING ELSE CAN COME IF IT, you will begin to realize thatyou DO have something to offer a woman who doesn't know you,and you'll see evidence that you can give it to her.
5) Keep a journal of all 100 interactions, so you can seeyour progress.
EXTRA CREDIT:
Write me an email at: SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.comand tell me about your journey. I want to hear your story.
Of course, there are a lot of other things you can do toeliminate your insecurity. Self-Image exercises, real-worlddrills, visualization and affirmation, mentors, and all kindsof other great options are out there.
In my eBook "Double Your Dating" I teach some of my ownpersonal Self-Image exercises and other techniques foreliminating insecurity. In fact, Chapter 2 is all aboutthe "inner game" and learning how to overcome some of theseissues. If you haven't downloaded your copy yet, just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...and get it now. (Of course, it's also jam packed withtechniques for meeting and dating women!)
And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.THE MAILBAG: GREAT TECHNIQUES FOR MEETING WOMEN***QUESTION***
Dear David
First of all, although you've probably heard it a million times - thanks for your work. It's really great stuff. I have a question for you: Why is it that women like dancing in night clubs, and many men don't? Is it important that a guy should be able to dance even if lets say I don't like dancing. How can one practice C+F attitude (which I love and I know works) if everyone has had a lot to drink and it's so damn noisy & crowded & it's impossible to have a conversation with a woman? Also is it true that if you are able to dance well, that women will be attracted to you? I myself hate dancing, but every attractive woman I have dated loved dancing, some of them I think even dancing provocatively to make me jealous. The strange thing is that I have also noticed my mates that can dance don't particularly get anymore success with women in night clubs than I do. My female friends tell me that I must learn to dance, but for what as I don't enjoy it and my mate's that do don't get lucky. So please can you explain what it is about dancing that women like, and is it worth becoming a good and confident dancer in order to get more dates with women and succeed once on those dates.
Thanks in advance.
A.
A British fan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, sounds like you have two different issues that you'redealing with:
1) To dance or not to dance.
2) The noise and crowds of nightclubs.
Interestingly, my perspective is that the answer to bothquestions is basically the same...
There are some guys that like to go out to nightclubs topick up women to take home THAT NIGHT.
Now, most of the guys I know who go out with this objectivedon't actually wind up "bringing home babes" as often asthey'd like. In other words, unless this your sole objective,and you're an ABSOLUTE PRO, then you might start thinkingabout this situation differently.
When I go out to a club with the idea of meeting women, mymain objective to get emails and phone numbers. That's it.
You can start a quick interchange with a woman, get heremail and number, and be done with the whole thing in about3 or 5 minutes. You can do this all night and wind up withinformation from 5 or more women each night you go out.
The interesting thing is that you don't actually have toeven use Cocky and Funny very much if this is your plan.You can save it for get-togethers over tea, or phoneconversations.
Of course, if you can use your Cocky and Funny attitude,all the better. But if you're dealing with noise andcrowds, where you may not even be heard, just get theinfo!
And as for dancing, if you're getting her info in thefirst few minutes, then you won't have to dance, buy hera drink, or get into a long conversation that you can'tunderstand. Getting emails and numbers quickly is usuallythe best way to go in these situations.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, I was just curious, i'm an average man who tells jokes like crazy to girls, I make tons of people laugh and friends with everyone. I can talk to a girl in a second but some are harder then others, How do you get real secrets out of them, and know what some deep things are about em. So I am asking when I go up and make fun of them teasing and being cocky, what are some more things I should say to get the conversation rolling and want them to talk to me even more. If I get a conversation its easy to tell a little joke here and there.so what are some easy ways to just to get an very high interesting topic to talk to them about?
Thanks......... D
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, why do you want to know "deep" things abouta girl you've just met? And why do you want to get "realsecrets" about her?
Read my last comments above... just get the info!
You can follow up later, and if you want to know "secrets"and "deep things", you can work on that later.
By the way, secrets and deep things are best not discussedearly on, unless you're trying to get into a relationshipin 5 minutes.
***QUESTION***
I just wanted to let you know you information is the best material I ever decided to invest in. I know you told people that you have tried everything and these techniques work best, so let me make a comment to any of the skeptics out there. I have personally invested money in material which discussed being touchy feely and complementing women as many times as you can on a first date while making lots of cheesy smiles to show attraction. I've also purchased book & tape packages which told me to touch women in various places while in clubs talking to them, to get them aroused (I am surprised I didn't get a drink thrown in my face!), I memorized paragraphs (literally) of things to say when out with women(once a women told me I seemed false) and NONE of these get the reaction I get from using the material in your book. Oddly enough....the only reason I didn't want to get the double your dating material in the beginning is because it wasn't as expensive as the other BS material I wasted so much money on, so I figured it can't be as good. I am in grad school right now and I realized after reading your newsletters(which had questions from the rich to average) that making good money was not going to give me success with women, and besides I don't want anyone putting me in the long-term lover withhold sex category explained in your book anyway. Since I have been using your techniques I have been seeing a women that is very attractive and used to date a pro athlete. She just told me recently (without me asking of course) that the reason she felt so attracted to me was my care free, take no crap off her attitude I developed from your book. She tried to throw a tantrum when we were leaving a club wanting me to chase her, so I laughed and told her "when you think you can control your alcohol maybe you can regain your privileges of talking to me again!" then I walked off grinning (love it!). She explained to me later that she was putting me through a series of test and I was doing things that other guys just didn't do (by the way....she called ME first thing the next morning to apologize.) She told me the others just kiss her ass and try to make her happy. Now I just reread your book so I remember not to become one of them. This brings me to my question. I know you don't specialize in the long term stuff but I would like your opinion. Her birthday is coming up and I wanted to know what would be something special I can do without over doing it. Fathers day just passed (I have a daughter not from her)and she got me a designer shirt, so I don't want to do anything lame either. Can you help me.
Thanks, N. Texas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, great job.
It's not often that an attractive woman will actually TELLyou explicitly that she's testing you. You have a galthere that is unusually open.
I included your email because it's a great example of howwomen test men. Most guys FAIL MISERABLY when tested, andthey lose the girl in the process. It's sad, but true.
When a woman tests a man, it's like a blind psychologicalexperiment. She's doing the testing, but she knows thatshe can't TELL you what's going on, because then you'llknow it's a test and not respond authentically.
How else could she find out the TRUE nature of yourcharacter? How else could she find out if you're actuallya strong-willed man with inner power, or just anotheractor playing pretend in order to conceal the INNER WUSS?
Think about it.
As for the gift idea...
Women typically love SURPRISES and THOUGHTFUL expressionsof your feelings. As you know, I don't like to comment onthe relationship stages, but if you want to make her seeyou as different from other guys, plan a few thoughtfulsurprises for her. Think about experiences that she'salways wanted to have, or things she really likes, thencombine together to create a time she won't forget.
It doesn't take money to do this, and it's actuallybetter if you DON'T spend a lot.
Remember, what I'm talking about here is to be used whenyou know a woman and have been dating her for at leasta little while. This is the kind of thing that has theword "relationship" all over it, and you don't want todo things like this too soon, or you run the risk ofcoming across the wrong way.
[As a side note: I want to re-affirm that even though Ichoose not to comment on the "relationship" stage veryoften, that doesn't mean that I don't like relationships orhave a problem with the idea. I think that a greatrelationship with a great woman can be one of the bestexperiences in life... But I also think that to attract areally amazing woman you need to know what you're doing.And that's what I focus on: How to be more successful withwomen and DATING - not women and RELATIONSHIPS.]
***QUESTION***
Well I got a question here. I have a great resource to meet women, but I am unsure on how to go about milking it.
I work at a children's museum. Occasionally a group of some kind would come in, kids camp, YMCA, etc. Well usually with these groups there are quite a few women my age. They are usually supervising the children they bring in.
Last time a group came in some women made a point to kino. Some would brush against me when they walked passed me even when there was a lot of room on either side of me. Or if I was in the way they would touch my back rather than say something. This happens more than often to be a coincidence.
I have no idea how I should milk this resource. I am friggin stumped.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, if I were you, I think I'd sit down and make a listof all the kinds of conversations that you could possiblyget into with these women, then create Cocky and Funnylines for each. Finally, come up with some great ways toget emails and numbers.
You might say:
"Where did you find time to have all these children?"
...or some other line hinting that these are her ownchildren.
Then, after a little banter, say:
"You know, I don't usually date women that alreadyhave 27 kids, but give me your email, and maybe we cantalk about it."
You have all kinds of great options. Just think of somegreat things to say!
***QUESTION***
David,
I was in a VERY noisy club the other night in Cabo San Lucas (I'm on vacation) and spotted this babe dancing alone away from the crowd. I approached her with your, "Hi! I noticed you over here and thought I'd take a sec to find out what you might be like... are you friendly?" with a cocky sort of smile. She warmed up instantly and conversation flowed into an eventual makeout session there in the club. It was the first of three successes I've had in one week... more than I typically had in 6 months before reading your book... so Muchos Gracias! However, I want to get REALLY good at the Cocky & Funny (C&F) thing and hone that skill so I come across that way in ALL of my interactions with women (not just when I happen to be "on"). Can you recommend some drills/exercises or some kind of action plan to RAPIDLY hone this skill in the next couple months? How did you develop it?
Thanks,
E.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The book that I always recommend is called "Comedy WritingSecrets" by Helitzer. It's such a great book, and it hasa bunch of great exercises inside to help you increaseyour humor skills. As you're working on it, just thinkCOCKY and Funny.
I personally developed a lot of my Cocky and Funny skillsby chatting online over instant messenger services withwomen. When you use one of these IM programs, it gives youa chance to think of great things to say, because theconversation is about 1/5th the speed of normalconversation. It's great practice, and you can write downdifferent lines to try, then get online and use them...with real women, even!
Great job, and keep it up.
***QUESTION***
Hi,
I'll try to keep this short. First of all, your book is great. Great tips, great guidelines. Second, as a proof of success, a few nights ago I went out with some friends, and tried something new, based on your guidelines. I saw this hot girl at the bar, asking for a drink. And instead of complimenting her on her great physical looks, I said hi to her and told her I liked how her unusual belt looked on her. That's it. And then turned around and walked away. I didn't even let her talk. Ten seconds later she comes to where I was with a friend and said to me "the good thing is that it keeps my pants in their place", and everything worked from there. We began to talk, etc. I would have never done that before. I gave it a try, and the outcome was good. That same night I stayed away from the usual "you are pretty, blah, blah" and focused on other things, trying to start a conversation in a C&F way, and it works better than the usual stuff. I met about 4 girls that night. Got the hot girl's email address. I also wanted to ask you for advice on something. After that night's success, last night I went out to a dance club and this is the scenario. Crowded place, loud music, pretty girl seated in a table with other friends (guys and girls). Can't quite assure if good eye contact is being made because of the club lights. Let's assume there is. I did notice she looked at me about 3 times. She never leaves the table, she is seated between her friends (hard to approach her). I didn't know what to do in order to have her leave the table to try some talking. This is a major problem. You can't just go there and approach her in front of all her friends (can I?) I had to do something! I waited over an hour to see if she moved, but she didn't. So I decided to write a message on a napkin and have the waiter give it to her. I thought this at least would define is she was interested or not, and then move on to other target if she wasn't. I wrote something like this: "Since I haven't been able to run into you apart from your table, I decided to send you this note..." and then complimented her on a prop she had, etc, (C&F) I thought that if she was interested she then would move to the bar, or somewhere else where we could meet and talk. A few minutes before I was going to send her the note, she and one of her girlfriends stepped away from the table. While I was watching where she was going to stop (I try not to hit on a girl while she is moving), I realized she was leaving the place. I thought she might come back because she didn't say goodbye to her other friends. She never came back. She left with a girl, but she isn't lesbian or bi either (I know who she is). So at the end of the night (2 hours later) I approached one of her girlfriends and asked her to give the note to the girl (I wrote down my email). I told her I was going to talk to her and give her the note personally, but she had left and I couldn't do it. Her friend asked me "so this message is from who?", I said "the guy with the black shirt, necklace with a shark tooth, from the table next to yours". I don't even know if she will remember, or if she noticed because of the "unconfirmed" eye contact. I need feedback on this, man. How do you approach a girl in a scenario like this? What would you have done? I think what I did is wrong, giving the note to her friend, but what the hell. We all have to make mistakes to improve on this, right? Thanks!! Keep up the good work. Waiting for Episode II of Double your Dating.
R.M. from Miami
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, I admire the hell out of you, because you didSOMETHING instead of NOTHING. Nice.
Now, as for what to do in a situation like that one...
I have a friend that does something interesting. He'll callthe waiter over, and say "Can you deliver this napkin tothat girl over there? But don't tell her who it's from." Then,he'll draw a tic tac toe game, and put an X in one of thesquares. (Always tip the waiter a dollar!)
The napkin almost always comes back, and the game is on...
It's fun, mysterious, and the girl always wants to knowwho's playing with her.
I've used this before, and it's great fun.
At some point, depending on whether you're winning or losing,you can come over to her table and say something like "Well,I had to meet my worthy opponent" or "I hope you talk betterthan you play" etc.
Also, if a woman gets up and is about to leave, that's a GREAT time to go get her info!!!
Just walk up and say "Hi, I was going to come talk to youearlier but I got busy... what's your name? Do you haveemail?" Easy. And it's so natural to ask, since she'sobviously on her way out...
***QUESTION***
hey david.
In your last news letter u talked about reverse psychology. A couple of days ago (before i got this email on reverse psychology) i was talking to a friend of mine online (a girl) and ive liked her for a while. (shes somewhat of a player and shes REALLY HOT!!!) when i was talkin to her we got into a conversation about sex. as we were talkin i told her that i didnt want to do it w/ her (but i did) and she said y not, and i said because. she kept on asking me why not, and i just said because. so she gave up and quit asking me. so then we went on w/ our conversation, and a little while later just right out of the blue she said we'll probably have sex some time in the future. i said "ha maybe", and left it at that. we havent done it yet but we do talk about it (just havent found the time yet) but i plan on doin it soon. so my point is, the reverse psychology thing really works. and to all u guys who think david dosnt know what hes talkin about, your wrong he know exactly what hes talkin about. buy his book!!!
J from IN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
One of the most amazing things you can do when a woman bringsup the topic of sex is to tease her about it, ask her whyshe's bringing it up, and accuse her of having a dirty mind,etc. It's great!
You must realize that this is one of the very best ways totease an attractive woman. They usually love it.
Attractive women often bring up the topic of sex to see ifyou're comfortable... or to test you to find out if you'llget nervous or insecure.
The best thing to do in these situations is accuse her oftrying to get sexual too fast, tell her you're not interested,and bust on her. It's all kinds of good fun. And the addedbenefit is that it makes her more and more curious about youand why you don't seem like all the other losers who rollover and act stupid.
***SUCCESS***
Dave, Oh my God, I'm gushing...Dave you da man. I showed up at one of the local bars tonight armed with your info and voila, I wasn't really trying and still got the phone numbers of two of the hottest babes, including a girl I've been eyeing for about a year. MAYBE I'll call her, then again, there's so many women and so little time. ;-) Cheers,
I.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Gushing?
Cool. I think.
What else can I say? Nice.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Thanks for all of the advice. I recently went to Australia and constantly used your advice. Even on the plane ride over. I was blessed to be sitting next to a hottie on a 14 hour flight across the Pacific. We started talking and hitting it off. Lots of chemistry. She pulls out her scrapbook and I tease her about everything. I come across some pictures and she keeps looking hotter and hotter and I keep teasing her about her looks, saying that she must not travel well, becuase that cannot be her. Then I come across her in a lepoard bikini. Im thinking, THANK YOU GOD. On the other page she has word association games and her comment is P- Bootylicious. So I look at her ass and say, " Im not so sure about that... youll have to prove something like that." So she turns her back to me and pulls her pants out and says "NO look. " My response was, " well, I just dont know if I have a good angle to make that kind of judgement." You know coach seats and all. So the flight just progress from there. It was like a 10 hour lap dance. I got her email... of course and home cell. We actually emailed all over Austrailia except I was going one way and she was going the other. We actually almost met in one city... She lives about three hours away from me and will be coming home in about two weeks. Dave... I need a magic line to get her to come up and visit me when she gets back! I've been C/F in all of the emails and she has responded for the last month, but any suggestions for a winner proposal.
M.
San Francisco
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What are you talking about?!
You need a magic line when you had this hot girl doinglap dances on a commercial flight for you?
OK, OK, why don't you tell her that you have a BIGsurprise for her, and she needs to come up your wayso you can show it to her.
Then show her the Golden Gate...
...or something.
I and every other man who's been on a long flight seatedbetween two overweight women with bad breath hate you.
***SUCCESS***
Dave,
I was first a bit reluctant to use your cocky+funny attitude to attract girls...guys this is perfectly normal but GET OVER IT!!! THEY LOVE IT!!! And, I'm becoming more and more aware of it every time I try it. Now, I had to travel across town today for a summer school class and while waiting at one of our many long stoplights, a cute blonde pulled up next to me. As usual, I checked her out and noticed that she had 5 or 6 pairs of yellow, green, purple, and pink sunglasses hanging from her mirror. I yelled at her, "Hey, I like your glasses!!". "Thanks", she said, "I really...". I then cut her off in mid-sentence and said, "Yeah, I think my bratty 6-year old sister has a pair just like those!" Using Dave's Cocky+Funny attitude DID catch her off-guard but she laughed a good bit. After a bit of small talk, I asked her for her number and out to lunch. Now, I have a date next week! THANKS DAVE!!! Thanks, D.F. in Indiana
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, nice save!
You are truly starting to get it. Cocky and Funny. Cockyand Funny. Cocky and Funny.
Repeat after me...
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
First off, I bought your book (read it twice) and think that there are some excellent tips/ideas included for meeting and seducing women. I feel that it was well worth the investment, particularly being that it is matter-of-fact and right-to-the-point, making it very easy to assimilate the information.
Now, on to my success story. The reason I'm writing this is to show guys how a little bit of confidence can do wonders in any situation. This happened in my fraternity, before a party. I was with a few brothers, drinking a few beers and just hanging out. Low and behold, in walked this beautiful specimen who was a "friend from home" of one of my bros. I was sitting on the floor, she was standing up. Normally, I'd putter around in my attempts to pick up a babe that was that incredible. On this fateful day, though, I was in the Zone! I immediately made eye contact with her, smiled, held the eye contact a 'little too long' and winked at her. The effect that this 7-second process had on her was astounding. She blushed a little, smiled and gave me this (I'll never forget) "take me now" look. I stood up and said "Guy's were going to go for a walk." I took her hand and led her out of the room, into the hallway, and down four doors to my room. The rest of the night, we had sex twice, danced later that night at the house party, and just kinda hung out together after that. If I would of done my normal procrastination process before attempting to pick up this babe, there is no way things would of unfolded like they did. A recap of what happened: I saw an incredible-looking woman, made my interest known immediately, acted on my signals within the first minute of the encounter, showed total confidence in my approach, and proceeded to move and interact with her as if the forthcoming night's encounter was meant to be.
Best of Life,
CD
Pittsburgh, Pa
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You are the man. Since most guys probably missed the KEYpart of your story, I'll recap and explain.
Most men hesitate when they see a woman that they're attractedto. This is mistake number 1.
Next, most guys don't like the idea of letting a woman knowthat they're INTERESTED in a woman romantically. So they tryto come up with nice, friendly, wussish things to say so theydon't come across like they're attracted. This is mistakenumber 2.
Now, of course you don't want to jump on a woman or approachher in a menacing way, and of course you don't want to act likeyou're so attracted to her that you'd lay down in traffic fora date with her...
But what you did was neither.
When a man realizes the things you've realized, and then takesaction like this, it has an INSTANT AND POWERFUL effect on awoman. It triggers her ATTRACTION mechanism DIRECTLY... notalk, no lines, no BS.
The problem, of course, is that most guys have no idea howthis dynamic works, and therefore never take the specificcorrect actions that lead to this kind of awesome success.
Thanks for the email.
...those were some great examples of how to do things right.This week I've been getting an unbelievable amount of emailfrom guys who have read my book "Double Your Dating" whohave written to tell me their awesome success stories. Iwish I could include all of them, but I literally gethundreds of emails a week, and there is just no way that Ican include them all. If you've been reading thesenewsletters, and you'd like to get ALL of my very bestthinking on how to be more successful at attracting women,then I'd recommend that you download a copy of my onlineeBook "Double Your Dating". It's packed with all of thesecrets it's taken me years to learn and discover. Justgo to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and get your copy. You'll be reading it in just afew minutes from right now, thanks to the power of theinternet.
Thanks for tuning in, and I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
DATING TIP: "EYE CONTACT AND OTHER KEYS"***QUESTION***
Just wanted to share a little bit of what your lessons havedone for me. I read your book and started concentrating onwhat I thought was my weak points. I did as your bookrecommended and started picturing myself as the cocky funnyperson I wanted to be. I even did the whole daydreampractice thing everyday. I work at a fitness center so Isee lots of hot women all the time. My biggest weakness isthat I look away quickly after eye contact is made. Idecided that before I started trying to approach women Iwould make it my goal for a couple of weeks to just makeeye contact and hold it until they looked away. Ok, here isthe good part. After practicing eye contact for a couple ofweeks and doing the whole mental exercise thing, I was atwork one day working out after my break and was practicingmy eye contact thing between sets with this really hot girlnear the dumbbell rack.
I knew she noticed but it never bothered me cause I had nointentions of acting. Well, I had to go over to get a setof dumbbells for my next exercise and as I got close towhere she was she suddenly turned around and said "I havea boyfriend" and turned around. Normally I would have kindastood there in shock and said nothing but, I guess all thatmental practice paid off. With out even thinking or pausingthe words just came out. I said "Hey that's great I am happyfor you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know this isprobably a major accomplishment for you but to the rest athe world this is kinda normal so you might not want to gotelling every stranger you see." Then I just walked offwith my weights to do my sets. 5 min later she comes overto me and apologizes and asks for my number. Turns out shedidn't have a boyfriend but was just tired of being pickedup by losers while she was trying to do a workout. Thanksfor the pleasant surprise!
KAL
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Niiiiice one.
Your letter is really a wonderful affirmation andsummary of some of my favorite concepts:
1) Read my book "Double Your Dating"2) Actually use the material and mentally rehearse3) Start from where you're at4) Be Cocky and Funny5) Show complete indifference6) Use illogical Jedi-Level mind power to create ATTRACTION
First of all, your story would make no sense at all tomost guys. They would say "Yea, whatever. She was probablyabused as a child and wants you to be her daddy" or "Well,if I worked at a gym I could do that too".
Of course, you realize that this had nothing to do witheither... this was a result of you learning about howwomen work, then preparing, then taking action. I couldn'tbe more impressed.
Now let's talk about some of the things that werehappening that most people would MISS when reading thestory.
You mentioned your exercise of keeping eye contactuntil women look away. This is very powerful. I am guiltyof not addressing this issue more often, and I'm gladyou mentioned it here.
If you can learn this skill, it will communicatepowerfully for you. Great job.
You said "I guess all that mental practice paid off.With out even thinking or pausing the words just came out."
This is the result of preparation and mental rehearsal.This wasn't "luck". Even though the words were unique tothe situation, the MESSAGE was delivered clearly. Bylearning how to better communicate in the language thatwomen understand, you created magic.
And as for the words themselves...
You just gotta love saying: "Hey that's great I am happyfor you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know this isprobably a major accomplishment for you but to the rest athe world this is kinda normal so you might not want to gotelling every stranger you see" to a hot woman at the gym!
You INSTANTLY took a situation that would normally stripa man of all his composure and personal power, and thenREFRAMED her words in a way that caused HER to look likethe socially inept one.
Then you did something equally powerful:
YOU WALKED AWAY.
In effect, you busted on her, then PROVED BEYOND THESHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT YOU COULD TAKE HER OR LEAVE HER.Actions really do speak louder than words... most guyswould have messed up that situation by standing aroundwaiting for her to say something. You did the right thingby walking away.
When you combine all of these factors together, youget a totally illogical outcome: ATTRACTION.
She realized that you weren't just some other loserwho hoped to maybe get a date by kissing up to her...you turned out to be on of the EXCEPTIONAL men in theworld who have more personal power than her, and one ofthe even MORE exceptional men who also know how tocreate ATTRACTION.
This combination made her feel a feeling that youcan't create by DECIDING that you want it. It can onlybe created by TRIGGERING IT.
Finally, I'd like to comment on the fact that SHEasked YOU for YOUR number. You realize that it's nottypical for a woman to approach a man, apologize, thenask for his number.
Women will often ask a man for his number just toget rid of him. But not in a situation like this one.This was different. She apologized, then told you thatshe's tired of being picked up by losers... then askedfor your number. This was, in effect, her telling youthat she sees you DIFFERENTLY.
All because of your eye contact, followed by a perfectexecution of the Cocky and Funny attitude, followed by anexcellent physical demonstration of indifference.
Again, to most men this would make no sense at all.If you consulted most relationship books, they wouldargue that this type of approach would NEVER work. I mean, men are supposed to "court" women, complimentthem... pursue them with gifts and favors, right?
Yea, right.
The problem is that the mainstream relationshipbooks forgot to title the chapter that suggests thiskind of behavior "HOW TO BE THE WUSS WOMEN RUN FROM" or"HOW TO CONVINCE THE WOMAN YOU DESIRE THAT YOU HAVE NOBACKBONE AND WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR HER ATTENTION" or"SIMPLE TECHNIQUES FOR GIVING A WOMAN YOUR REPRODUCTIVEEQUIPMENT ON A PLATTER".
The question I have for you is...
CAN YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUTWHY MEN AND WOMEN "SHOULD" BE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHERLONG ENOUGH TO SEE WHY THEY ACTUALLY ARE ATTRACTED TOEACH OTHER?
And can you do what it takes to get yourself fromwhere you are to where you actually need to be inorder to attract the kinds of women that you wouldlike to meet and date?
It can be done, but you're going to have to do it.
As I mentioned above, the first step is to readmy book "Double Your Dating". That's the best headstart I can give you. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now to download it. You'll be glad you did.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
DATING TIP: DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ATTRACTION AND AFFECTION
If you've been reading my newsletters, and you'veread my book "Double Your Dating", then there's a goodchance that somewhere along the way you've said toyourself "Does this guy think that long-term relationshipsare healthy?"
To set the record books straight, I want to say:
Yes, I think that long-term relationships are wonderful,healthy, and can be a great source of joy and happiness.
In fact, I've had many of them myself, and have enjoyedsome great times as a result.
But here's the distinction: If you don't learn how toa woman feel ATTRACTED to you at the VERY BEGINNING, thenyou are taking a HUGE risk. Namely, that you're going toinvest all of your time, effort, energy, emotions, gifts,money, and life pursuing someone who may or may not everfeel the same way about you.
If, on the other hand, you master the art of makingwomen feel that GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION using only yourpersonality, then you won't be GAMBLING as much when itcomes to women and relationships.
NOTE: My experience is that many of the things thatus guys do to try to attract a woman, i.e. buying gifts,doing favors, etc. actually lead to the woman finding usUN-attractive, because she sees these as needy behaviorsperformed by a weak man that hide ulterior motives.
I think that long-term relationships are great. Ijust don't like the idea of investing a lot of time,energy, and money if I have no idea whether a girl evenlikes me! No thanks.
How much better it is to know how to make a womanfeel that excitement, tension, and attraction at theVERY BEGINNING. This way you're not out-of-control,wondering where you stand. Then, if you decide thatthis is someone that you'd like to spend more timewith in the future, you can start doing moretraditional "relationship" things (if YOU choose).
A relationship based on two people enjoyingeach other's company and personalities is FAR stronger,in my opinion, than one based on gifts, money andfavors.
Take a moment right now, and think about the difference between ATTRACTION and AFFECTION. Thinkabout the things that make you feel ATTRACTED to awoman, and then think about the things that make youfeel AFFECTION for a woman.
Big difference, isn't it?
Here's one for you. Do nice women stay with jerksbecause they feel affection for them? In most cases I'ddoubt it. It's because the jerk is ATTRACTIVE in oneway or another.
What I've done is take the parts of the 'jerk'personality... the parts that are ATTRACTIVE to women,and use just those without the ABUSIVE components.
Teasing, busting her balls, creating tension,playing hard to get, not giving her what she wants,being unpredictable, being cocky and funny are allways to push the "attraction buttons" without beingabusive or mean.
Then, it's up to YOU whether you'd like to buygifts, pay for dinners, and do favors. When giftsand favors are presented in the context of being analready attractive, cocky and funny man, then theytake on a whole new meaning. They lead to a strongerfeeling of affection, devotion and commitment...
WARNING: Don't turn into a wuss just because youdecide that you really like a girl. Don't startcalling her 47 times a day and saying "Ohh, baby Ireally miss you." Use gifts, favors, and romancelike a spice... not the main dish.
OK, here's the plug: If you haven't downloadedyour copy of my book "Double Your Dating", then getto it! Go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...right now and get it. I promise that EVERYTHING inthese newsletters will make more sense to you afteryou've read it. You'll learn all about how to makewomen feel that illogical, mystical, GUT LEVELATTRACTION with your communication and personality.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
MAILBAG: ALL ABOUT APPROACHING WOMENA COUPLE OF QUICK THINGS:
Just wanted to mention a couple of quick things before weget into another great Mailbag:
1) The New York seminar is almost finished being arranged.It looks like it's going to be Friday-Sunday, the lastweek of September. I'm planning for a Midtown Manhattanlocation... it's central to everything, and it looks likeI'm getting a VERY reasonable hotel rate for guests. Keepyour eyes open for more info soon. If you have anyquestions, send an email to NYSeminar@doubleyourdating.com.
2) From time to time I want to remind you that every oneof the emails contained in my newsletters is real andauthentic... I don't have my mom write these, and I don'tsit and come up with them myself! Also, I get literallythousands of emails per month from various sources, andit's just not physically possible for me to answer everyemail. If you have a Success Story and question for me,just email it to SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com andkeep it short. Share something that's working for youfirst... I like those emails best!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hello David,
Just wanted to let you know of a little twist of fate I experienced. After reading your techniques, I made a decision to try them out on a good female friend of mine. Her and I used to be a couple, but four years into it things got sour and the relationship ended. I was absolutely crushed and felt emotionally numb. A few months went by and I decided to get over the possibility of us getting back together. I had pondered possible reasons as to why our relationship ended. It had seemed as if she just one day awoke and saw me as a friend instead of a mate... but I came to the realization that I had become a wussy and just stumbled into that self defeating clinginess. We remained friends, but I was obviously still attracted to her. Well, I purchased your book and decided to move on with my life and let her go forever. Ironically, after some intense practice, I ran into her at the mall and we started talking. It had been a while and I had moved on, so I (naturally) acted like I didn't want her, and I busted her balls in every way possible. She laughed so hard and got really excited. Well, the next month she called me about 10 times to try to set up a time to meet. Finally, I visited her house for old times sake, applied cocky funny (which was downright second nature at this point), and she started crawling all over me! I wasn't even pursuing her. Four years of me being a wussy and your techniques pulled me out of it. Very powerful stuff! Just emailed to let everyone know that this stuff works. It also helps if you actually get a grip of your life and don't let past loves drag you down. Get over it and move on...it will only make you more attractive! Take care and thanks.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Congratulations. One thing that really stood out for mein your letter was:
"It had been a while and I had moved on, so I (naturally)acted like I didn't want her, and I busted her balls inevery way possible. She laughed so hard and got reallyexcited. Well, the next month she called me about 10times to try to set up a time to meet."
Women have a very specialized and highly advanced "WussDetection System". One of the clues that they use inWuss-Detection is when a guy is overly clingy or showsTOO MUCH interest.
I know that this doesn't make a whole bunch of LOGICALsense, but then again, almost NOTHING makes logicalsense when it comes to ATTRACTION.
Keep up the good work, and I hope you're able to putyour relationship back together... sounds like it wasa great thing.
Just remember to NOT BE A WUSSY anymore!
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I purchased your book and received most of your e-mails. Your book is an excellent guide for success with women. After reading your book I began to see things more clearly regarding women and dating.
I am currently dating four women at the same time. They are all pretty hot and very into me. I use your Cocky and Funny approach with a touch of sarcasm. I have bedded these girls down within one or two dates. Their ages range from 19 to 26 and sex is a daily thing.
However, I grow tired of scheduling all these women. What should I do? I don't want to go without sex like I use to before reading your book.
Yours Truly,
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Awwww. You POOR, POOR DEAR.
You're dating four hot women ages 19-26, and you're havingsex daily.
Yea, I can sure see how all that scheduling would get youdown.... sounds like a TOTAL BUMMER.
Hey, I have an idea...
Maybe you should rent a 5 bedroom house, and then rent outfour of the rooms to your dates. You could mark up therents so you could cover the entire cost... FREE RENT FORYOU!
But wait... that's not even the good part.
You could run down to Office Depot and get one of thosebig "white boards", create a huge monthly calendar, and putit up in the kitchen. This way, all of your dates couldSCHEDULE THEMSELVES.
It would be great. No more HARD SCHEDULING WORK for you!You could just let them work it all out amongst themselves.
Now THAT'S thinking. I should send you a bill.
OK, look man... give me a break!
You want to have a lifestyle that almost NO men have,but you don't like all the tough "scheduling work".
Either higher an assistant, or get over it.
***QUESTION***
Sup Dave,
Man you got some skillz with the ladies. I'm learning so much from you, now friends are asking me for 'advice', that's wild. Well for the past couple of weeks i just decided to give the cocky and funny thing a try, togreat reviews from the ladies. I was getting tired of hearing "you are such a nice kid." My problem is trying to figure out if i went too far with joking with this girl. in her book i wrote " what's up girl, i can't lie, you look good, almost as good as me (haha). Give me a call so we can chill, go to the movies, makeout...whatever. It was tight being in classes w/ you, your energy and great smile can really light up any situation. Have a tight summer. peace"
It seems like in the past weeks she has started to like me. The thing is, she is one of the most liked girls at our school, i always played it coo around her, jus being friends (oh ya, i got the email). It's not like i'm a bad looking guy either so... "was it the right thing for me to right this?" yeah, and if i messed up and she is mad at me or something what should i do to fix the situation w/out sounding like a 6'3 tall wussy? "oh yeah, and "how do i kno when these girls like me or not, they throw out mixed signals" one day they're all over a brotha, next day they're not talking to me...weird. Anywayz, if you can understand my conumdrum and give me some advice, i would be greatly apreciative. Peace,
your friendly neighborhood black guy
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Let me drop the knowledge...
First of all, get used to attractive women sending youmixed signals. It's part of life.
One of the reasons why a woman will be "all over youone day but cold the next" is because during the timeshe was "all over you", YOU ACTED LIKE A WUSS.
A lot of guys don't get this.
They get all upset because a girl was friendly one day,but totally acted different the next.
What often happens is something like this:
1) You do the right things, and make her feel ATTRACTION.
2) She starts acting affectionate. Maybe you make out.
3) You start saying "Wow, I really like you" etc. and actall smitten with her to her face too early on instead ofjust leaning back, enjoying, and playing it cool.
4) She CHANGES HER MIND and sees you in a different lightbecause you turned into a WUSS right before her very eyes.
You feel me?
Better way: Keep doing what you know works. Keep leaningback, being unpredictable, playing hard to get, etc. Anddon't start acting smitten too early on!
***COMMENT***
hey dave
just to let you know that your stuff is genius...Ive never had so much success before. I used to do EXACTLY what not to do, in fact i didnt do anything right. You see I was the "Nice Guy" I kissed girls asses to make them like me, and i could never figure out why they acted ignorant and ignored me. Now thanks to you man i figured out what I did wrong. I now have confidence and i am willing to talk to chicks i never would before. Just wanted to thank you for all you have done for us, i speak for everyone when I say that you are the man. I hope that every man knows this stuff, but if not more women for us right?
-J
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for your email.
I know, I know... it's soooo easy to do the wrong thingswith women and NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT YOU'RE DOING THEM.
Unless you get clued-in about how this game works, it'svery difficult to figure this stuff out by "trial anderror".
Keep up the great work.
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
I downloaded your book and all I can say is WOW! I was blind and now I see. I've always been known as a "nice" guy and looking back I can see how much of a wuss I really was. Here's the story. Some friends of mine and I go on a camping trip every year. This year one guy brought a surprisingly attractive 20-something with him.(I'm 36). Later that night she and I were the last ones sitting around the fire after everyone else had crashed. We had a few drinks and I found out that she and my friend were not a couple. Then she came out and said that she knew that I was attracted to her but that I "wasn't her type". Before your book I would have become embarrassed and tucked my tail between my legs and fled. Instead I turned it around on her and started busting her balls using C&F. We ended up talking until the sun came up and when it came time for her and my friend to leave she asked me if I had a pen. She gave me her phone #(I never even asked for it) and asked me for mine. That never would have happened in my previous life! Everyone out there: Get this book! Thanks Dave!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, isn't it exciting when you do something that you NEVERwould have done in the past... and it WORKS!?
Of course, you're just getting started... you're going totake things to a whole new level, I'm sure.
Just make sure that you don't start calling this girlevery 20 minutes, and that you give her space to miss youand think about you.
Keep it up.
***QUESTION***
Hey, I have been a subscriber of your newsletter for a while now. I have pretty much perfected your techniques and have had tremendous success with them. One thing I recently realized is that after you have them hooked you can keep them on the line even more by using strange timing for telephone calls etc. What I mean by this is that I have found it beneficial to return their calls at weird hours when you wouldn't expect them to be home or awake if they are so that you leave a message. Then when they call about half the time all I do is pick up the phone and say "can't talk sorry bye," hang up, and go back to watching sportscenter. The girls who are calling obviously want to see more of you, so being hard to reach makes the game all the livelier. If you mix being hard to reach with the occasional phone call it seems like a shortcut to taking it to a more physical level because they aren't sure when they will see you next. I was wondering if you have used this and if you think it is a good idea or if there is some unforeseen way this could backfire?
Thanks.
Z
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You horrible man!
You actually tell women that you're BUSY, and hang up soyou can go back to watching SPORTSCENTER?
You're killing me over here.
I can't believe it, I think you're one of about five menalive that have gotten to the point where you don't needto stop everything just for a little attention from awoman!
Hell, I'm starting to feel attracted to you.
Easy, boy.
You are doing EXACTLY the right things. Keep it up.
Being unpredictable, hard to reach, and mysterious isMAGIC when it comes to creating ATTRACTION.
Of course, no technique is perfect, and if you do thesethings long enough you will have something come up asa result. But overall, this is a WINNING combination.
If and when you do have a problem or setback, don'tworry about it. These things happen. You'll have somuch success that it won't matter.
As a side note, I want to mention a quick littlesomething...
I think that there's a line between doing things thatmake women feel attracted to you so you can enjoy amore interesting romantic life and actually give womenwhat they want...
And using the ideas you're learning purely to manipulatewomen into doing things.
Most women would really prefer if guys would do thisstuff and be more interesting, but there's a danger ofusing this information, and making people into toys.
I honestly believe that you can live whatever lifestyleyou want... all the way from dating several women at atime to being married for years... and still do it withintegrity and honesty.
Do the right thing, and be a good guy.
***QUESTION***
David,
Hey there! Thanks for the tips/advice so far. I havean interesting story about an amazing girl i met online...we started chatting and we hit it off so well that wechatted for many hours the first day and by the end of thesecond day she wanted me to call her and i did and then bythe end of the week she wanted to meet me and she cameover to my house and well we kinda got straight into it(everything but sex)...anyways the next day i called herand we were still talking pretty hot and heavy etc...andwe kept this up for a couple of days and we were supposedto meet again (to go to a movie) but then she backed outand said she wanted to slow it down...i kinda figured thiswas the end of it and i was feelign pretty shitty (she'sa hot ass stipper for god's sake!) and i was kindaconfused and then she emails me the next day...i hold offresponding for a sec cause i'm confused and then she sendsme another email late at night telling me to call her so idid and she tells me how she wants to "cuddle" etc... andi'm kinda acting a little distant maybe cause i'm confusedabout what the hell she wants ands then all of a suddenshe turns on me like that and doesn't want anything to dowith me whatsoever... and now she won't respond to myemails or calls...what the hell can i do to get her againcause i totally want to party with her!
Thanks man... help me!
want more of her
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, your problem is simple.
YOU SPENT TOO MUCH TIME TALKING TO HER AT THE BEGINNING.
As a rule of thumb, when you first meet a girl, DON'Ttalk to her more than once or twice a week, and don'tSEE her more than once or twice a week.
If you're chatting online, don't chat more than a coupleof times a week.
And DON'T talk for hours and hours and hours in ANY ofthese situations!
Why not?
Because when you talk for hours, you start talking aboutall kinds of WUSSY things.
Do yourself a favor next time...
After a woman comes over to your house and gets physicalwith you, LEAN BACK.
Don't call the next day and talk hot and heavy. Give itsome time and space.
Here's one of my favorite quotes:
"Give her the gift of missing you."
I love that quote.
I wrote it.
OK, I think you get the point. Stop acting like a needyWUSS BOY, and start leaning back, being unpredictable,and GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU when you're in asimilar situation in the future.
***QUESTION***
David,
Hi i have been reading your newsletter for about two months now and i really wish i could tell you that i've had outstanding success with the cocky and funny approach but im afraid i cant. You see i just cant even picture myself seeing a gorgeous woman somewhere and just starting some kind of conversation with her out of no where like that. I get really nervous around women and never know what to say to them. And i just can't help but see myself get rejected by her and all the different ways she can turn me down. Any suggestions?
M. from AZ
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I have a question for you...
"What if you COULD picture yourself seeing a gorgeous womansomewhere and just starting some kind of conversation withher out of nowhere?"
Is the problem that you can't picture it? Or is the problemthat you won't just DO IT?
I mean, what do you think is going to happen?
Do you think that gorgeous women have magical powers andshe might turn you into a frog or something?
Here, try this:
Next time you see a beautiful woman, walk over and say:
"Excuse me, can I ask you a question? I'm trying toovercome my shyness, and it's my goal to ask five womentoday what it takes for them to feel attracted to a man.Do you prefer it when guys try to BUY your attention withgifts and food, or do you prefer it when a guy teases you,makes fun, makes you laugh, and keeps you guessing aboutwhat's going to come next?"
Don't even worry about getting emails, numbers, and dates.Just go ask that question.
As a homework assignment, go ask 100 women this question.You'll see that women aren't so scary after all, and youwill get some really interesting answers from them.
Now, I don't usually advise asking women for advice onwomen... but in this case I'm not telling you to askfor advice for advice's sake. You're overcoming shynessat the same time.
After you ask the first 50, I want you to try somethingnew...
After you ask the question, and she answers, I want youto say "Because, you know, I'm really tired of womenjust treating me like a piece of meat... like some kindof sex symbol or something. I need to understand whatI can do so a woman likes me for WHO I AM!" ...in aserious, sarcastic, Cocky and Funny way.
Watch the responses you get. You'll have fun.
***QUESTION***
Hello David. Well, let me put it this way: I got your book, and it made a HUGE impact on my life. I'd like to assure anyone who doubts you that you are not full of crap, you really know your stuff. Anyway, I have a little problem, and since I feel you've mastered the understanding of the minds of women, I need your help. First of all, I've always had a razor-sharp wit, but I didn't have the confidence to show it to most women, and instead felt sorry for myself that women never got to see the real me. Now, once I was introduced to you and learned the whole cocky routine and seen it's effects, my confidence is sky high. I charm women like you wouldn't believe... while I was happy with this at first, it seems that I have gotten TOO good with women. I know I sound awfully full of myself, but... here's the scoop. When I use my dazzling charm combined with cockiness, new women that i meet CAVE IN to me and become my WHIPPED SLAVE after a short period of time. They lose their sassy and fun personalities, and become obsessed slaves that would do anything to please me. while its sometimes flattering, overall I do not like this. Don't get me wrong, I want them to want me, but I DON'T want them to become my drooling little groupies who think about me when they get up and eat breakfast and are still thinking about me when they get under the covers at night... it seems like their obsessions sap their personality. What I was wondering was whether or not you knew a SPECIFIC BEHAVIOR or trait that i may be amplifying that causes women to react this way... I want to TONE DOWN whatever it is that's getting them to drop their religion and worship me.. any help appreciated. by the way, i am NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING, i really do see myself as TOO sexy and its ANNOYING.. i want women to be challenging again! (P.S: while im not ugly, i sure as hell am not the type of guy that girls whisper and giggle about upon first glance... so don't attribute any of this to mylooks)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, another sad, sad story. Makes me weep.
Women chasing you around like groupies and acting likeslaves... you poor thing.
Well, I do actually know what you're talking about.
Here's the deal...
Most women are used to being in CONTROL of men. And whena guy like you shows up and uses his magical powers ofCOCKY AND FUNNY, they are taken off guard.
You are pressing the ATTRACTION button inside of awoman, which has an interesting side effect when donewith Cocky and Funny:
IT MAKES THE WOMAN ACT LIKE A WUSSY!
This is a tough one for most guys to buy, but it's theabsolute truth... and you know what I'm talking about.
When a woman realizes that she's not going to controlyou... and in fact, that she's feeling ATTRACTED to youand she doesn't know how to handle you, SHE'LL startgetting nervous.
And in my experience, there are only a very FEWexceptional women out there in the world. I think thatyou just need to keep up the search. You'll find yourselfa firecracker if that's what you're looking for.
I personally believe that it's important to understandthis stuff NOT just because you can meet a lot of womenusing it...
I think that IT'S TOUGH TO FIND AN EXCEPTIONAL WOMANthese days, and you're probably going to have to datequite a few to find one. Knowing these techniques willhelp you see through tough exterior female personas,and start making you realize what you actually want ina woman.
You're on the right track, stick with it.
***QUESTION***
Hello, I do agree with the Cocky Funny in theory. However for me it is proving to be difficult in practice. One of the biggest hurdles for me seemto be the initial walkup. I am a very shy, nervous,and easily embarrassed person. Often when I see abeautiful women my heart starts to thump and my handssweat, and face goes red. I have had 2 opportunitiesin the past few weeks where I had women come up to meto ask me for something, once for directions, and oncefor a light. I can think of a few things after thesehappened, like I could have told the girl asking for alighter "those things are bad for you, youknow"....The girl asking for directions was a goldenopportunity missed, I could have been more detailed andthen got her email, but instead I just kind of frozeup and gave her quick instructions. When this happensI start to get regrets and beat myself up for notthinking more on my toes.
I do think that places outside of nightclubs are good,because women don't expect it, and you catch themoff guard, but I was on the tub this morning (subway inthe USA) and saw this absolutely stunning Brazilian, Ithought perhaps I could do the "are you single, myfriend would like you" but all the people around memade me hesitate and put it off. If I had done itright at the beginning instead of oogling her indisbelief I probably could of done it.
For me at this point, just to make an attempt would begood to give me a boost. I realize I have become sucha wuss. How do I get out of this nervous rut whichkeeps me from going for the women of my dreams.
J.P in London
>>>MY COMMENTS:
If it freaks you out too much to approach women inpublic, then figure out how to meet them in other ways.
Get online and start instant messaging women...
Go to a pottery or yoga class (if those things interestyou)...
Get a part-time job as a bartender.
Take dance lessons.
There are all kinds of great ways to meet women...
By the way, one of the best things you can do is gettogether with a friend, and go out for a day andmeet 50 women. Just approach every single woman yousee and use one of the techniques you've learned.
Then go do it again.
You might get sick the first 5 times, depending onhow deeply-rooted your fears are, but this will helpyou get over it.
Part of the problem is that you don't know what toexpect. It sounds to me like you really don't knowhow women will respond to you.
By approaching a lot of women one day, you'll findout that women are usually pretty nice, and you'llbe able to handle whatever happens.
Otherwise, use one of the ideas I gave you above to makemeeting women easier. It might be a good place to start.
***QUESTION***
Now then Dave,
I'll keep it short but first want to echo the feelings of everyone else on this e-mail by thanking you, your advice is seriously changing my life. Your stuff is great for people you've just met or that don't know you to well. However, I've just got back in contact with a girl I used to work with 8 months ago. We got on great and regularly went for coffee on our lunch breaks, so knew each other well. The only problem was that at the time she was in a relationship, so I had to fight the attraction I felt towards her. I have now found out that this has recently finished and want to make a move on her in the near future before someone else snaps her up. I've been 'cocky and funny' with her since we met, so that approach may be less effective than usual. Can you please give me some tips in how to take this further than just friendship. RW
England
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, first I have to ask you... Does she feel ATTRACTIONfor you?
When you talk to her now, does she flirt with you?
Next time you talk to her, say:
"You know, I know you want me. It took you 8 months tofinally get up the nerve to admit it, huh?"
See what she says. Bust on her and tease her about howyou know she's been trying to figure out how to getwith you all this time, and see how she responds.
Then, when you're alone with her, lean back, bust onher, have fun, etc. When you're alone, use the Kiss Test.
You'll figure it out soon enough.
Just make sure you don't ASK her. No, no, no.
No Wussy behavior please!
***COMMENT***
Hi David,
I have only one word for you to start with, and I guess you know in which context to place it:
==> "Damn" <==
When I was reading your book, say about a month or 4 ago, I thought to my self, this wisenoze thinks he knows it all, I hope he don't expect me to believe all that sh**. Now, 3 months later, I must confess......"Damn" E., Belgium
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, thank you.
I think.
***QUESTION***
hey david
u really know what ur talkin about, this stuff works like a charm. In your last news letter you had a girls email in it, and she said that she would fall over and open her legs for any man who used the c&f whether he was GOOD LOOKING or NOT. so my question is how much does looks really matter. lets say u got pimples like crazy and ur really fat and u have hair all over ur body (not that i have a lot of this) can u still attract hot girls if you've mastered the cocky and funny stuff? thats my question. i was just wondering. thanx. J from IN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Let's see...
I don't think that if you're fat, have pimples like crazyAND have hair all over your body that Cocky and Funny willwork.
Maybe if you JUST have hair all over and pimples, or pimplesand you're fat, OR EVEN hair all over and fat.
But all three? No, I don't think so.
Cocky and Funny is really intended for the slim, hairless,and those of clear complexion.
What the hell kind of question is this?
If you're fat, pimply, and hairy, then I think you mightwant to stop eating so much Pizza Hut, and maybe take ashower or something. Maybe some Oxy for the zits, man.
"OK, OK, let's say that you're REALLY ugly... like worsethan the Pre-Cogs in Minority Report... And let's say thatyou have a REALLY REALLY small weiner... And let's saythat you're a total dumb-ass...
WILL COCKY AND FUNNY STILL GET YOU A DATE WITH 47 PLAYBOYPLAYMATES EVERY WEEK?"
If you wish for me to make fun of you further in front ofan audience of thousands, feel free to email again.
***QUESTION***
I've got a great success story I'd like to share... morelike 20, and that's not an exaggeration! But I also needsome help. Then I'm gonna bust on you some! Yeah you Yoda! For those of you who haven't got this book yet, get it! I got burned on 2 other books before I got smart and got Double Your Dating, and Bridges is absolutely a must read!!! For those of you who get Dave's emails and haven't gotten the book.. and maybe you've gotten lucky by scoring a few emails and numbers and then choke cuz you don't know what to do next I've got 2 words for ya....HA! HA! Get off the fence and get his books! They work!!! As for the guy who is 50 and wonders if it will work for him and if he can date young sexy babes...Duhhh. I'm 47, only average looks, and in the last 3 months have gone out with babes from 27 to 47. I even had one gorgeous 32 year old take me to lunch! Take Me!!!! It turned into an all day date, with me leaving her place the next morning. Again, you need to read Bridges! It happened just cuz I busted on her when every one else was drooling over her and buying her drinks and telling her she was beautiful, blah, blah, blah. She was singing Desperado at a karaoke bar with about 8 cowboys drooling all over themselves and hovering around her. She is drool worthy, a true "10" a gorgeous face and a body that is straight out of Playboy, she does some modeling part time. I was trying to figure out an approach when she happened to turn and looked right at me, so I got off my bar stool went over and said "Can I ask you something?" She said "Sure, what?" I then asked "Are you going to sing any more Eagles songs?'" She says " I guess I can do a request" (semi-teasing). I say "Then please don't sing any more Eagle songs, cuz I really like them", then I turned and walked back to my bar stool. Almost immediately I heard "Hey a**hole!!!" I turned and there she was, madder than hell, I started cracking up- she started laughing too, sat down with me...and the rest is history. I've gone from dating an occasional 6 or 7 up to 8's and 9's regularly!!! (at least one a week). I go to one particular bar regularly, and it has proven to be a gold mine for me. 8's and 9's a plenty. So here is my problem. There are four "10's" that have recently started coming in to the bar that I want to meet, but I choke when it comes to approaching. I totally freeze. I'm afraid if one of the "10's" shoots me down, the 8's and 9's will notice. I get numbers and / or leave with an 8 or 9, but am kicking myself on the way out for not taking the chance with the "10's". I don't want to blow it at this place, since I've become popular there with most of the women. (all this in 3 months!!!!) Is it better to stick with good looking babes, or do you go for broke with the awesome mega babes? (what a great problem to have right?) I've been very lucky at this place, and have only been "shot down" once when I first started going in. What would you do Dave? Now to bust on you....when are you coming to Texas? Seminars is LA and NY? Why not Dallas? I'll be the first one in line to buy a ticket! Happy but Frustrated
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're doing such a great job... don't turn into a WUSS now!
The way you busted on that woman with the Eagles songs wasgreat. Just keep it up.
Attractive women can smell fear. You have absolutely NOTHINGto lose by talking to the "10s".
Here, try this. Next time you're out at the bar, ask oneof your friends to rate the "10s".
You'll find that your friends don't think that all of themare 10s. We each have different taste, and YOU just happento think that these women are 10s. I can guarantee you thatthere are other guys who think that they're 7s or even 5s.
Getting "shot down" is a state of mind.
I prefer to feel sorry that a woman has missed out on anincredible experience... not that I was "shot down".
And if a woman is actually RUDE to you, just laugh. Say"Oh, sorry... you looked like you might be an interestingperson, but I was obviously mistaken."
Feel bad for her, and move on.
In other words, keep up the great work.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave. I am a younger one. 18 to be exact. I aminterested in this book because I have never really been aladies' man. I am somewhat above average height; 6'1", andI weigh 205 lbs. I am not a bad looking guy, but I just get really tense around women. (You've probably heard thisbefore) After I say hi, I'm clueless. Can you help me Dave? Are these techniques as good as they sound? (Yournewsletters seem quite convincing) Please help out one of your youngest romantically retarded friends. Thank you.
PS: If this does work as well as you say, then expect tohear a success story from me.
P. J. K.
San Francisco, CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I know what you're talking about. I used to be VERY tensewhen it came to women.
I could be out in a public place, and a woman could evenSTART THE CONVERSATION WITH ME... and I didn't know whatto do.
I always felt like I need to say something that would"impress" a woman... or act "cool" so she'd like me.
I went through this for most of my adult life, actually.
I can't say that my techniques will absolutely work foryou without question. You're the one that has to usethem...
But I will say that if you get out there and try them, Ithink you'll find that they work better than anythingelse, and that you'll have more success than you havenow. It took me YEARS to really figure out what womenrespond to, and I really believe that ANY guy can usethe material to attract women.
Depending on just HOW shy or nervous you are, you mightneed to get that handled... but once you start workingwith the ideas, I think you'll be VERY pleased with theresults.
Of course, I offer a 100% no-questions, no-hassle,no-risk guarantee. If you're not THRILLED with yourpurchase, just email and ask for a refund... and youcan KEEP the materials for your time. I don't thinkI can do better than that.
Just go to...
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now for all the details and to download it.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
DATING TIP: A SECRET TO USE TONIGHT
This Dating Tip is going to be short and to the point.
There's a HUGE mistake that I see guys making ALL THETIME when it comes to women and dating.
And it goes a little somethin' like this...
GUYS OFTEN MAKE THE MISTAKE OF "SELLING" TOO FAR INADVANCE INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING TO THE NEXT STEP.
For example, let's say that a guy is talking to a womanat a coffee shop. Maybe she's sitting at the next table overand they strike up a conversation about the weather.
Further, let's say that the woman is unusually attractiveand the man is unusually AVERAGE in his approach and methodof communicating that he's interested.
This guy might say something like:
"So, let me guess... you have a boyfriend, right?"
Or...
"OK, I have to tell you... I find you really attractiveand I'd like to take you out sometime."
I'm sure you've seen this kind of thing a thousand timesin your life.
But what's going on here? Is the guy actually asking acasual question?
HELL NO.
The guy is literally communicating that he'd like toPURSUE A RELATIONSHIP with the woman.
Yea, and even worse, he's doing it within a few minutesof meeting her!
Explained differently, the guy is trying to sell thewoman on a relationship in the future based on five minutesof conversation.
And what happens? Of course...
The woman puts up the resistance INSTANTLY.
It's all kinds of wrong in all kinds of ways.
It's WUSSY behavior in its purest form.
It's one of the biggest mistakes men make, period.
And of course this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Guys do this kind of "selling too far ahead" stuff allthe way along.
Guys ask things like:
"So, am I your type?"
...and...
"How do you like me so far?"
...and...
"What do you look for in an ideal partner?"
Ahhhhhhh!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
You can't do this stuff! If you do you'll create aninstant barrier to success!
So what's the alternative?
I really thought you'd never ask.
The alternative is to know all the steps from thefirst meeting all the way to the bedroom (and beyond), andONLY WORK ON GETTING TO THE NEXT STEP in each situation.
If you're talking to a girl, just get her email.
If you're talking on the phone, just arrange a meeting fora cup of tea.
If you're kissing, just go back to your place to be alone.
Never again try to sell past the very next step.
THE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
If you own a copy of my eBook "Double Your Dating", thenopen up the bonus booklet called "Bridges: How To Go FromOne Step To The Next... From The First Meeting To TheBedroom" and read it again.
Get a clear picture in your mind of each of the 10steps that are listed in that booklet, and get a clearmental image of how each step fits into and flows intothe next.
Notice how you might be doing things at different stepsthat are trying to sell too far in advance. For instance,you might realize that you always get too deep intofamily and relationship talk with women before you evenkiss them.
Think about how you're going to ONLY GET TO THE VERYNEXT STEP in your particular situation... and then planexactly how you're going to do it in the future.
In the booklet you'll get some great ideas for howto transition from one step to the next, so use them.
If you HAVEN'T YET downloaded your copy of my eBook,then you need to do that first. Go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...to get it.
Read it, then go back and do the homework. This onepiece of the puzzle will make a big difference.
Talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David D.
DATING TIP: SECRETS MOM NEVER TAUGHT YOU***QUESTION***
Dave, Why is it that a woman who is only interested in the funny,cocky and challenging (i.e., interesting) men, later inlife tries to raise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and"nice"? (i.e., run of the mill)!! WSNew York
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a VERY interesting question, and I'm glad youemailed to ask it.
I'm going to give you my personal take on this, butmore importantly I'm going to talk about how these kindsof paradoxes exist right in plain sight all around us...and how to interpret them so you can increase your ownpersonal success with women and dating.
So to answer your question first...
I've spent a lot of time researching this topic, anddoing a lot of personal testing to see if I could findsome answers.
Right now, today, on July 13th of 2002 I think thatit goes like this:
"Being Nice" in the way that you're describing, whichI'm going to say encompasses things like givingcompliments, buying gifts, providing food, doing favors,tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending to be in agood mood even if you're not, etc. is mostly a SOCIALLY/CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of rules.
In addition, these are typically very FEMININE thingsto do...
So what's a mom in today's culture to teach her son?
Of course... how to be "nice" to girls.
The bottom line is that most of the people walkingaround on this planet have NO IDEA how ATTRACTION works,and therefore will never be able to TEACH another personhow this fabulous process works.
This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wanted thebest for you, she just had no idea how to explain whatmakes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom may have gotten thetingles when she saw Clint Eastwood shooting everyoneand Neil Diamond running around with his sneer, hairychest that sock in his jeans... (and that reminds me...EWWWWWW... your mom is gross, dude)...
But this doesn't mean that she can or would explainto her boy how to make this happen with other women!
Now let's talk about what we can actually LEARN fromthis kind of phenomenon.
The thing that really fascinates me about people isTHEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN PLAINSIGHT ALL AROUND THEM, AND EVEN ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHENIT'S PRESENTED TO THEM.
I've read some fascinating books about the conceptof "self-deception", and I've come to realize that wehumans have an amazing capacity for not seeing what'sthere... to the point where it can be very bad for us.
This mechanism is, of course, a survival mechanismthat helps us to weed out all of the useless informationthat's coming in through our senses at any given time,but it can go overboard, and prevent us from seeingUSEFUL information as well.
Even worse, a lot of our cultural and socialprogramming is off-base to some degree, which causesus to see things and interpret them incorrectly whenwe do see them.
Finally, humans don't like to change their beliefsabout things. They don't like to admit that they mightbe wrong in the first place, and they feel unstable orinsecure when they realize that a fundamental truththey have held all their life is incorrect.
Lump all of this together, and you have moms whoteach their sons the "proper" way to act and men whohave NO IDEA how to be successful with women.
Wow, I'm really going on an unusually intellectualrant today! Nice. I feel pretty smart... I think I'llkeep it up...
So what's this information good for?
Well, to start off, I think that it's important inlife to continually question your beliefs about howthings work and what is possible.
I think it's also good to constantly question yourlimiting beliefs.
Unfortunately, most people do the opposite... theyquestion their ability to succeed and they doubt theirown greatness. Most people constantly self-sabotage.
If instead you question your LIMITATIONS and yourLIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly look with yourown eyes to see if there's something going on thatnobody mentioned to you, then you'll begin to seethings that will blow your mind.
It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize thatATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. But as soon as I say it,you can immediately get what I'm talking about, andmaybe even have a profound realization that willlead to success.
Now, I didn't figure that out by having someoneTELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning thethings I was hearing, and by following my own intuitionthat there was a solution to this puzzle called "womenand dating".
So here's an assignment for you:
1) Write down all of the things that SHOULD work whenit comes to making women feel attracted to you. Thismight include buying gifts and food, giving constantcompliments, and acting "nice".
2) Write down your own personal experience of whatACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these "socially correctthings that mom taught you" with women.
3) Pretend for a moment that everything you've beentaught about women is wrong. Further, pretend thatwomen are actually wired in REVERSE. If this weretrue, what kinds of things would result in a womanfeeling ATTRACTION for a man?
Does this open up some new possibilities for you?
I invite you to question "common sense" and "whatyour mother taught you" about women.
I further invite you to come learn some of theVERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniquesthat I've learned, developed, refined, and describedin my eBook "Double Your Dating". I've spent YEARSthinking about this, working on it, and really gettingto the bottom of what makes women feel that magicalfeeling called ATTRACTION.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now to download it. In my book I also explain in detailhow to overcome negative programming, how to improve yourself image, and the exact steps to go from where you areto where you want to be with women.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.DATING TIP: HOW TO GET HER NUMBER FAST"How To Get A Woman's Phone Number And Email Address WithinThree Minutes Of Meeting Her"
Let me start off by telling you something interesting:
I've personally stopped focusing on just getting phonenumbers. I've found that EMAIL addresses are far better (Istill get the phone number too, of course).
Let me explain.
I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple ofyears ago.
If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get hernumber in about a minute or two (if I'm in a hurry). I foundout later, after working like a mad scientist on this thatGETTING PHONE NUMBERS ALONE DOESNT'T EQUAL SUCCESS.
You see, women have many different reasons for giving outtheir phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lotof men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some areactually interested. But the universal feedback that I getfrom men, and in my personal experience, women act differenton the phone than they do in person.
When you call a woman for the first time, she'll oftenstart acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude. It'salmost like she's a different person than the one you met.
I've found that getting an EMAIL address is not onlyeasier, but it gets more positive responses later on. It'salmost as if women appreciate it that you've taken the time tothink about what you're going to say when you write an emailto them, and they think of you more like someone they know.
The other benefit of email is that it can be written andanswered anytime.
If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an emailcan be answered anytime. And I've found that emails areanswered FAR more often than voicemail messages.
HERE'S THE HOW TO:
After I've talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes,I'll often say something like "Well, it was nice meeting you.I'm going to get back to my friends."
They usually don't know what to do, as they're used to guysclinging to them. Most of the time, they say "It was nicemeeting you too..." Then, just as I'm turning to walk away,and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say "HEY! Do youhave email?"
The "HEY!" is a bit surprising, and "Do you have email"is non-threatening. In fact, I'm technically asking her ifshe HAS email, not if she'll GIVE IT TO ME.
If she says "yes," I take out a pen and paper and say"Great, write it down for me" and I have her write it down.(This is great, as I just treat the 'yes' that theygive me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they'vealmost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE'S IN THEMIDDLE OF WRITING, I say "Write your number down there too."
When you ask for email, it's very low risk for a woman,so she'll think "Fine, I'll do that." Most women will give outan email address without thinking about it, because they knowthat they can choose later to just not answer.
The magic of asking them to write their phone number downWHILE they're in the middle of writing down their email isall about the psychology of human behavior.
She's already mentally said "OK, I'll give you my emailaddress"... and she's in the middle of writing it down. Whenyou say "And just write your number down there too" it's onlyNATURAL to just write it.
In other words, it's a MUCH smaller step than giving outthe phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time tofigure out this simple move, but it works like magic! Youwill have women writing their phone numbers down without eventhinking twice.
Here's a great add-on to make sure you're getting a realphone number and not a pager or voicemail:
As she's writing down her phone number I say "Is this anumber that you actually answer?" If she looks at me andhesitates, or says that it's her "voicemail or pager number,"then I say "Look, write your real number down. It's going tobe OK, I'll only call you nine times a day..." They laughand usually give me their real number.
Now, if she answers my first question and says "No, Idon't have email" then I bust on them and say "Well, do youhave electricity?" This is a GREAT opportunity to use humor.
Then I say "Well, OK then... I like email better, but I'lltake your regular phone number. It's so damn hard to reachpeople on the phone these days."
Just realize that all you have to do is ask.
Like I said, I've tried all kinds of things. And I'vegotten hundreds of phone numbers. And I use this exactsequence every time I talk to a woman and I want to get herphone number. I've gotten to the point where I can often dothis in a minute or two - no kidding!
Now that you know the sequence, write it down with thewords and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over andover until you know exactly what to say for each step andeach response.
Many guys have asked me "But what do I tell her as areason why I want her number or email?" I've never had awoman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knowswhy you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she alsoknew why you asked.
Just assume that this is the case.
If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth,assuming, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phonenumbers.
Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I prefer theFisher Space Pen (chrome) because it's small, classy, andwomen love it!
If you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook,just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook
...and download your copy right now. Learn the secretsthat thousands of my readers all over the world are usingright now to meet women and get more dates. You'll learnhow to approach women, how to get more dates, places totake women that are fun and FREE instead of paying forexpensive dinners, how to get physical with women, and alot more.
Keep your eye open for your next dating tip.
Your Friend,
David D. www.doubleyourdating.com
MAILBAG: CREATING ANTICIPATION CREATES ATTRACTIONTHE MAILBAG: Creating Anticipation Creates Attraction
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>>>OK, we're looking at 73 days until the Double Your DatingLIVE! Seminar comes to New York City! The seats are goingfast, so don't wait until the last minute to sign up becausethis one is probably going to be sold out in advance. Go tohttp://www.doubleyourdating.com/seminar for all the details.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
When I first started reading your advice, I felt that they were wildly off base. All my prior success had been as what you would consider a "wuss". However, curiosity drove me to try out your techniques and I found they increased my dating considerably. I went from only occasional dates, to having 3-4 dates every weekend. However, I have two questions which I have not found the answer to in your book. 1. How long should I keep up the cocky/funny attitude? It's really unnatural for me, and I'm not sure when I should drop it, and show a girl my true self. 2. I have a good friend who I've been friends with for a while. I guess she would consider me a "girlfriend-man" I'd always be the one with the sympathetic ear, listening to her problems and such. Is it possible, after getting this deep in the "friend-zone" to become more than friends with her? I don't want to risk ruining a friendship, but I've very interested in dating her. How do I do it? Thanks, S.S., Maine
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great questions. To answer your first question, WHY WOULD YOUWANT TO STOP DOING WHAT'S WORKING? I realize that you may nothave been "naturally" Cocky and Funny before recently, but ifit's working so well, why would you want to change it?
I get a lot of questions about this topic, and I can reallyunderstand the point. You'd rather be able to do what "comesnaturally" to you and be "yourself" around women.
But if you look at your second question, you'll find that youactually spell out what happens when you just "be yourself".You turn into "girlfriend-man". You become a "friend".
I don't think that's what you want.
But instead of thinking as Cocky and Funny as a process of"not being yourself", instead think of it as "beingconsiderate of what a woman wants" and providing it. Ithink that you can really learn to enjoy being Cocky andFunny, and make it part of your personality.
To answer your second question, it's quite a task to turna girl "friend" into something more... but it definitelycan be done. I personally have better things to do with mytime, but if you're HELL BENT on doing it, then do this:
1) Stop talking to her so much.
2) Stop acting like a WUSS when you do talk to her.
3) Start busting on her more and being indifferent.
4) Tell her about how well you're doing with the ladies.
5) If she beings flirting back, then progress to The KissTest and move things to a physical level.
You need to stop acting like a "girlfriend" and startacting like a guy who makes women feel ATTRACTION at aGUT level. But be careful, because if you screw this oneup, you'll probably lose her friendship as well.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
I am a girl. My boyfriend receives your newsletter. We came across the advice you had given to the man about what he did wrong with this girl by giving her six dollars for a drink and she didn't answer or return her calls. I would think it would be wiser to have a girl give advice seeing as how it is advice on girls being given! The advice you gave him was not only wrong, but it was bitchy. The joke he gave her was not right. It was rude. I think you should find someone else to give the advice on this site.
-J, OH
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, let's re-visit the original question and answerthat we're talking about... here it is again so we can reviewbefore I make fun of you and your Wussy boyfriend:
*******ORIGINAL QUESTION AND ANSWER*********
***QUESTION***
I started to talk to this girl that i met when i went outwith one of my friends' brother. we went down town and hungout. everything was going good and i got her # by the end ofthe night. We hung out the next weekend and went to a club. we got in the club and she asked for 6 dollars to by her a drink. I asked her "what do i get out of it?" and there was the laugh and then i decided to give her the money. after the club i took her home with my friend and her friend. I asked her for a Kiss goodbye she gave it to me. Then i told her that i was goin to call her the next week because i knew of a party the following week. After calling her next week i had trouble getting a hold of her and she didn't pick up her cell phone. It has been about 2 weeks since i have talked to her. And the weekend that she was suppose to hang out has just passed. Do u see a problem in this or if i messed up some where?
thank you
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, as a matter of fact, I do see a problem.
What are you doing giving a woman six bucks for a drink?
You were SOOO right no target when you answered with "What doI get out of it?" SHE LOVED IT!
But then you had to go and SCREW IT ALL UP by giving her themoney... ouch.
When she laughed you should have said "Well?"
And WHATEVER she answered with, you should have said:
"SORRY, not good enough... buy your own drink."
STOP TRYING TO BUY ATTENTION FROM WOMEN.
It makes you look like a WUSSY SCHMUCK BOY.
Oh, and will someone remind me to practice being more honestand direct with people? I sometimes feel that I'm too shyand don't want to hurt their feelings...
********END OF ORIGINAL QUESTION AND ANSWER**********
Now back to your comments and me making fun of you...
The advice I gave was RIGHT ON.
If a woman asks for money early on, then you need to either:
1) Cut her loose and run, hand on wallet, for the hills.
2) If you're feeling up to the challenge, then say somethingvery Cocky and Funny while refusing.
My advice was to follow up the question of "What do I getout of it?" with "Sorry, not good enough... buy your owndrink", which is VERY funny when delivered with the correctsarcastic tone.
It also raises the bar and says "What do you have me confusedfor an ass-kissing loser who needs to buy your attention withmoney? Here, let me fix that for you."
This is the kind of reply that creates tension, electricity,and ATTRACTION.
Now will you tell your Wussy boyfriend to stop letting youread his email AND respond to it too? You're just upsetbecause I'm messing up your game... my answer here is probablygoing to cost you thousands of dollars in food and drinksthis year alone.
Please don't be mad at me, I don't think me ego could stand it.
***QUESTION***
I owe a lot of my success to you. I try the cocky funny thing,and it does work thank you for that. But I don't like the whole one night stand thing. I want to get a girl and do thewhole boyfriend thing. My question to you is HOW? I've met my share of 7's and 8's, but they just aren't what I'm looking for.
Thank you in advance.
J.B. CA >>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, you're not alone. I believe that MOST men would preferto meet a great girl and have a fulfilling relationship. Ireally do believe this.
In my estimation, 80%-90% of men are ultimately looking fora fantastic woman to enjoy a relationship with.
One of the main reasons why I advocate learning how to besuccessful with women and dating is IT'S NOT EASY TO FINDA HAPPY, HIGH QUALITY, EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY WOMAN!
You usually have to meet a lot of women before you find awoman that is a great match for you... a woman that youdon't feel like you're "settling" for.
In order to do that, you're going to have to have some realSKILLS and understanding of how the dynamics of male/femaleATTRACTION works.
Stick with it, you're in a great place right now, and I'llbet that you're going to meet someone that you like verysoon. But have fun while you're at it, because life is justtoo short to run around feeling unsatisfied.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
Ive been reading your emails and i have been applying some of it and i have found that most of it works. That is great and all but I really don't like being cocky and funny i just like being my sweet self. i like complementing left and right. What i wanna know is why do women like it when a guy is a little rude or just plain "full of himself". And another thing. Why is it that when a woman starts complaining about her man or what ever why is it that women Say they want a sweet and sensitive guy who respects her feelings? But in reality she doesn't. It really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
Laterz
DAL Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS:
With all due respect, please do all the women you're meetinga couple of favors:
1) Stop "complimenting left and right".
2) Stop being "your sweet self".
...unless, of course, you look like Brad Pitt or have over$10 million dollars. In these cases, do whatever you want.
For the first several interactions with a woman (through thefirst 10 dates or so), DON'T ACT LIKE A WUSSY!
When you act like a wuss and give lots of compliments, youare doing what 98% of all the other guys she's meetingare doing. You're being average. You're boring. You'recoming across as fake and weak.
If you want to know why it is that women are attracted tojerks, then read my book or come to my seminar in New York.The short answer is that WOMEN CAN'T HELP IT. They comewired at birth to respond to many of the behaviors thatmany jerks display. I believe that you can createATTRACTION inside of a woman by doing some of the thingsthat jerks do WITHOUT the abusive part.
Stay tuned for more.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I sent my brother your tips and that same day he bought thebooks. He was explaining to me how great your advice i.. He went out the first weekend that he bought the books.... thenhe is calling me at 4 am... he is in 7th Heaven expounding how wonderful he feels and how great your advice is...and he is overweight and not attractive at the moment. He has not been this happy in over 5 years. Thanks for helping my brother feel good about himself again.
My question is, .. I am in a serious relationship and want tokeep the energy alive. I have been pouring myself to this woman and she loves me, but I know that I am into her more than she is into me (just a little) and I want to turn that around..... I am probably going to ease up a little and make her beg for it ..... is that the right approach and can your book help me too?
M on Oahu, Hawaii
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I think that the materials can help keep relationshipshealthy and interesting, even though I avoid givingrelationship advice or talking about the topic.
As I've said before, it's not that I don't like relationshipsor don't think they're healthy...
I just happen to specialize in the stages before therelationship, so that's what I talk about.
Thanks for your email, and I'm glad to hear that yourbrother is getting this part of his life together.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I figured I'd give this a try since I'm running out of ideas.About 3 months back I met a beautiful spanish girl from Miami after spending 2 months of talking to her online. The night before we met I really screwed up by getting in an argument with her and telling her not to email me again. (Idiot I know!) The next day I regretted it terribly but I got an email back from her saying it was ok and she was happy, and that God told her I wasn't the guy for her anyway. I felt horrible. I ended up getting her to meet me the same day, brought her a rose, and just walked around the mall and talked with her. She was absolutely beautiful and I could almost feel tears in my eyes because I wanted her so much and yet it seemed there's nothing I can do. We spent about 3 hours just talking and then we departed because she had to leave in a hurry to get home. We talked online again and I managed to blurt out "Are you ever going to tell me why you aren't interested in me?" and she responded by saying "lol it's a long story. it's like I've known you all my life, just not as a boyfriend." I know I tried to move too fast, and I did make some mistakes. But now I feel it's hopeless. She wants to be friends with me, but nothing more and I can'tsee it turning into more. It's like in front of me is this bag of a million dollars that I just want to take, have a great time with and so forth..but I know the money isn't mine and all I can do is stare at it, wishing it was mine. I know it's stupid but just thinking how much I want her and knowing I don't stand a chance almost makes my eyes misty. I can't even meet her in person anymore because I keep imagining her finding a boyfriend and then I'll have to pretend I'm happy for when I know it would kill me. I just want to forget about her but I can't.. I don't know what to do, it's driving me crazy.. I've never wanted anyone in my life so much, and it's the only girl that I want is the one I can't have. Is there anything I can do? Is it time to giveup? How can I forget about the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life? Thank you for any help it is greatly appreciated.
Kind Regards,
S
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh lord. I'm slapping my head right now... somebody stop me.
Someone needs to shake the Wuss out of you!
Wake up, and stop this immediately!
You need serious help before you hurt yourself. Go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...before it's too late. And maybe read a couple of WayneDyer books from the 70s so you can get control of thoseemotions. You're freaking me out over here.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey dave you rock man i have been using your techniques for about 6 months, and i can't believe how good it works..Not only that but most of my friends want to know what the hell i am doing to get all these girls, I have actually picked up and slept with three different girls this week , and if i had more free time it could have been more like 4 or 5. There are 2 problems though that i do find, when i have girls always hanging around me i find that there are always guys that want to hang around me too, and no word of a lie i have had guys buy me drinks just to hang out with me, Maybe you should write another book how to keep the pathetic males away from the c$f technique, i'll never let the cat out of the bag the best i can do for them is give them your website :)2) The more girls i date the more confident i get which means loooook out ladies...lolol :) seeeya dave keep up the good work, also try to get a seminar in Toronto k >>>MY COMMENTS:
Well then, you're tearing it up out there.
Your techniques are working so well that even GUYS areattracted to you. I don't know whether to kiss your ortell you to tone it down.
Maybe neither.
Whatever.
Thanks for the email, and maybe you're going to have tobeat all those guys off with a stick.
I know, I know, but sometimes I just can't help myself...
***QUESTION***
I met a lady and was funny and cocky, but I was too forward about sex and she blew me off. The next time I met her, I said "I only want to be friends", then I gave her a foot, leg and a head rub. She allowed me to continue this as I explained why we could only be friends. I later gave the kiss test and it was fireworks from there. My question is: Why did telling her I only wanted to be friends totally change how she reacted to me? Confused and Satisfied.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, don't get me started on why reverse psychology workswith women...
Here's a little insight for you:
WOMEN DON'T GENERALLY TAKE ANYTHING AT FACE VALUE, THEYARE ALWAYS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT EVERYTHING "MEANS".
In other words, if you say "You're beautiful" a womanmight think "What he REALLY means is that he wants toget into my pants".
If you say "I just want to be friends" a woman mightthing "What he REALLY means is that he's not attractedto me... maybe there's something wrong here becausemost men fall all over themselves. Maybe I don't lookgood today. Maybe I'm losing my beauty. Oh yea? I'llshow him... I'm going to MAKE him feel attracted to me!"
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
In the land of female perception and interpretation,things are strange. But if you can get it through yourhead to stop trying to communicate directly andexplicitly most of the time, you'll do much better allthe way around.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
I starting reading your Dating Tips from a guy friend who prints them out and has them at his house. Mostly for the sake of curiosity and to see if you were really right. And any girl that disagrees is totally not being honest, all your stuff was right on. Your kiss test, perfect, the cocky and funny attitude, I love, even if I act like I don't sometimes. Your approach to women is exactly what girls like. It's awesome how your helping guys out by sharing your experience and giving them pointers so they can become more confident. There is nothing less attractive than a wuss, I will totally be into a guy until he starts acting like a wuss and I loose all interest in him. I'm glad your letting guys know that.
I don't know if you give advice to girls but, while I'm writing, I have a really good guy friend, we hang out probably twice a week (he always calls to hang out, I won't call guys unless we are in a relationship) he confuses the hell out of me. He'll tell me about his dates and ask advice from me, which makes me think he just considers me a friend. But then I'll be laying in his lap and he'll be rubbing my head and playing with my hair. What do you think he thinks of me? May seem like an obvious answer but he really does confuse me. Hey, maybe he reads your stuff.
Anyway, I thought I'd write and let you know that your right on the money, which you probably already do know, but I read that email from that other girl (the one with the grammar and spelling problem) and was kind of ticked, she obviously doesn't know what she's talking about and is probably twelve by the way she was talking. Thanks for helping all these guys out and telling them what we really love!
V.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I love honest women. You forgot to include your phonenumber and several classy-yet-sexy pictures of yourselfwith your email.
Why is it that I tend to believe you more than thegirl at the beginning of this mailbag who was all upsetbecause I'm messing up her game?
As for your guy friend, I think he knows EXACTLY what'sgoing on.
And because he's not acting like a typical loser wieniewussy boy, you're REALLY getting into him.
I think you should play hard to get a little more, andstart dating other guys, then tell HIM about it! Seewhat his reaction is. This will settle the matter foryou...
Thanks for your email, and don't forget the pictures.
***COMMENT***
Dave,
Just a quick note to say this stuff works just like pressing a button. I have two teenage sons entering the dating world. So, wanting to make sure they would be big "Mack daddies", like their old man, I got your book. And of course I had to preview all the material to insure quality and readability. I laughed my a.. off! Even though I am happily married, I could not resist using the C&F, just to mess with them. Now I've got to stop! Ladies of all ages, some nearly half my age (43), coming on to me. And I mean heavy duty obsessions. I am AFRAID! Guys, be careful with this stuff!
Guy in Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Amazing.
What's up with you being the coolest dad that I've personallyever heard of in my entire life?!
Emails like this one actually warm my heart.
Of course, I love making fun of girly-men too, but this isjust out of control.
If you're a father of teenage boys, do them a favor and teachthem the skills they'll need later on.
At this stage you can weave ethics and responsibility intothe materials, and make sure that they learn how to usethe power with responsibility, rather than just learningto be jerks later in life who abuse women.
It's a great idea.
***SUCCESS STORY***
I met a woman through the internet. She had several pictures and a good profile posted. I tried to keep our conversation fun. I suggested that we meet some time for coffee or a toddy. She told me she didn't want to meet me because I would then stop sending her such great emails. I sent her an email, "What makes you think they won't get better"? She sent her phone number. I didn't ask to meet her again for about a week. She mailed me and said, How will you know if you like or don't like me?" I mailed back, "I will know when we touch". I met her for a drink. I sat across from her. We talked for a long time. Then I asked to see her hand. I took it in mine and lightly kissed it. She was trembling. I went to the mens room and when I returned I sat next to her. I touched and fondled her hair and commented that it was pretty and she was also. I reached for her hand again. She was trembling. I knew I could safely kiss her then.
JB Little Rock, AR
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You have harnessed one of the most important concepts forcreating ATTRACTION:
ANTICIPATION.
Women respond VERY powerfully to anticipation, and you'veused it masterfully.
You kept on teasing her with ideas, then leaning back andnot letting her know when things were going to progress.
Your short paragraph is an amazing example of what TO do.
Thanks for the story.
***MORE SUCCESS***
You are the man! I am an 18 year old who just graduated from high school, I downloaded your book about 2 months ago. In that time I have gotten with 3 hot chicks and made the 2 most gorgeous girls at my high school to dump their boyfriends and come crawling to me just by busting their balls WHENEVER I talk to them, or any girl, whether it be online or in person. I have dated many girls, including the 2 gorgeous ones, and things would go good for awhile, but then I would get wussy syndrome and they would give me the boot. Now I am in total control of the girls from my school and I cant wait to go to college this fall and use your techniques to make the GORGEOUS girls come to me. I'll keep ya posted about all the success I will have with college chicks. I have more confidence than ever. Every guy should buy this book.
Thanks again,
J.K. Michigan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well what else can I say? I have to agree with you thatEVERY guy should buy this book.
It's taken me literally YEARS to figure all this stuffout, and you can learn it all in a few hours of reading.
You'll learn everything from how to get your self imagein shape to how to approach women to how to take thingsto a physical level without rejection.
Just to to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and get yourself a copy. It's the best investmentyou can make in your dating future... and it comes withmy 100% no-hassle money-back guarantee. If you're notTHRILLED with your investment, just email and ask for arefund. It's that simple... and I'm that confident thatyou're going to love it.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
DATING TIP: "NICE" GUYS FINISH DATE-LESSQ&A With David D.: Why Being A "Nice Guy" Doesn't Work WhenIt Comes To Dating... And What To Do About It
This week I got a great email from a guy who has gonethrough an interesting process. He found himself singleafter 11 years of marriage, and he's re-learning the skillsit takes to attract women. Even though most of us aren't inthis exact situation, I think you'll learn a lot from thisQ&A session... and the story has a great twist at the veryend... Enjoy!
***QUESTION***
Hi,
I've read your newsletter for a few months now andjust recently got your book which is fantastic. Firstoff a little background here. I was married for 11years (I'm 33) and basically was either dating ormarried to same person for 13 years. I have beendivorced now for a few months, and was actuallyseparated for over a year before I got divorced. Having been out of the dating scene for so long I waspretty much clueless (a lot has changed). I've alwaysbeen a very funny guy and cocky to an extent, but inmany ways what you would consider a "wuss". I'vealways considered myself a nice guy, considerate,caring, etc. You know, how mother taught you to be. I've realized that those qualities are great ofcourse, but don't help a lot in the dating scene. OnceI started more of the cocky routine, it's beenamazing. Like I said, I've always been funny so Iguess I have a head start already.
Anyway, I've had some really "hot" dates in the pastcouple months with the help of your book, but one ofthe biggest problems I have in getting dates is thefact I have been divorced and have 4 kids. I don'tconsider this a problem whatsoever, they're a hugepart of my life, but I know the way women thinksometimes and view this as "baggage". Is there anyadvice you could give me on how I can incorporate someof your philosophies and techniques into over comingthis persona of "baggage" and help me attract morewomen?
On a side note. This is a strange success story here(if you can consider it that haha). Like I saidbefore I was married, and she is a really beautifulwoman. Just for the hell of it I decided to startusing the c&f routine on her every chance I could (westill get along pretty good as "friends", btw). Ithought it would be good "practice". Anyway, lastweekend I was over dropping off my kids, and she says"JC". I said, "what?". I walk over to her bedroom(where she was at) and she says out of the blue "geton the bed now!" She was kidding and it threw me fora loop, but I just said "in your dreams!" Shocked shesaid, "WHAT?" I replied with, "maybe in our nextlifetime". I then proceeded to end the conversationand leave quickly after that (had a date haha). Twonights ago she calls me at home, and basically askedme out. I said what the hell! So, we went out lastnight (kids were at her sisters), and let's just saythat after 3 years of not having sex with her, Iforgot what I was missing!! So there's one for you,"how to get your ex wife in bed with you again!!" LMAO In case you're wondering, no way no how, will Iever go back to that relationship (but sex on theother hand..hell yes!). There's a different kind of"success" story for you!
J.C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
In your email you point out something very, very, VERYinteresting. You say:
"I've always considered myself a nice guy, considerate,caring, etc. You know, how mother taught you to be. I've realized that those qualities are great of course,but don't help a lot in the dating scene."
Well said.
It is SO important that guys understand the distinctionbetween "dating scene" and "long-term relationship scene"when it comes to women and interacting with them.
Many of the things that make a long-term relationshipgreat will KILL your chances INSTANTLY with a woman thatyou don't know. I'll talk about this more in a moment.
I think that as guys, most of us want to do the rightthing, treat others well, and live with integrity.
There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, but Ithink that most of us know at a very deep level thattreating others well, being honest, having integrity,and living an authentic life leads to happiness... whilebeing dishonest, treating others poorly, putting ourintegrity aside for selfish reasons, etc. leads to thatconstant, negative, dragging state of body and mind.
The problem arises when we go out into the world tofind a mate. It matters not whether we're looking for awife or a one-night stand...
As soon as we see a really attractive woman, most ofus guys become nervous, self conscious, and insecure. Wefeel excitement and fear at the same time. The firstimpulse is to approach and give compliments in a waythat says "You are a beautiful goddess, and I am a meremortal man... Please, if you would, see your way clearto give me a chance to show you how much I adore you."
If the goddess indulges us for a moment, the nextimpulse is usually to provide gifts and food, and toshow her what a great provider we are.
Of course, not every man experiences things in exactlythe same way, but you can probably empathize with whatI'm saying.
Here's the deal:
I USED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THIS. I know EXACTLY whatit's like to want a woman's attention but not know howto get it... so I'd give compliments, offer gifts andfood, and try every other "nice" trick in the book.
I did this for a long time. Many years, in fact.
I used this strategy long enough to realize a fewkey things:
1) Approaching women this way doesn't usually work. Theyimmediately sense your insecurity, and mentally classifyyou as "average" and "like the other 10 guys thatapproached her today", etc.
2) ATTRACTION is a completely illogical process.ATTRACTION also isn't a choice. ATTRACTION is a responseto certain things... and it happens on it's own.
3) Being a good guy is an important part of life.Treating others well and always doing the right thingleads to things like: A) Liking yourself, B) Happiness,C) Good friendships, etc.
4) Being a "nice guy" when it comes to women and dating,especially when it is used enough to make you qualify asa WUSSY is a REALLY REALLY BAD idea.
5) There are certain techniques that can be learnedwhich will help you get past the initial meeting anddating period... and help you not only stand out as a"not average" guy, but also create the magical emotionof ATTRACTION inside women.
6) The great news is that you don't have to be ultrahandsome, rich, or famous to do it.
The gist of what I'm saying is that if you know howto create this ATTRACTION inside of women, then you canovercome just about any "social stigma" that might beattached to you (yes, even 4 kids!).
Some people get upset when they read about mytechniques... they don't like the idea of making fun ofa woman, busting her balls, being Cocky and Funny, etc.
They just want to "be themselves" and have a woman"like them for who they are".
Of course, these same guys ALMOST ALWAYS like tobuy women flowers and dinner, give compliments, acceptmanipulative behavior... and generally do ALL KINDS OFTHINGS that I consider "very manipulative" and "not-at-all-being-yourself" kinds of behavior.
Go figure.
The point is that when you made the comment aboutthe qualities that make up "nice guy" don't really helpyou out when it comes to women and dating, you REALLYhit the nail on the head.
It's not that you have to be an abusive-loser-jerk, butyou must realize that there are certain qualities thataren't what one might consider "nice-guyish" that PUSHTHE ATTRACTION BUTTONS inside of women.
These are the things like being Cocky and Funny,teasing women, busting on them, and generally being achallenge.
If you decide that a woman you've met is "long term"relationship material, then you can start doing thethings that you'd do with someone who has earned yourrespect and trust. It's at this point that doing "niceguy" things makes more sense.
BUT WATCH OUT! Don't unexpectedly turn in to Mr.Wussy just because a woman wants to have a relationshipwith you. Nothing can make a woman want to be "justfriends" faster...
No matter what you do, you still must maintain abalance.
So to answer your question about how to overcomethe objection to four kids...
First, realize that the women you're meeting fallinto roughly a few categories:
1) Those that aren't interested at all, no matter what.Maybe they're gay, happily married, not interested...or all of the above.
2) Those that are interested in being with you for someshort term fun, but aren't interested in a relationshipat all.
3) Those that are interested in short term fun whilethey're single, but would like to pursue a relationshipif they meet a good match. Here we have two sub-categories: A) Those that object to the four kids thing,and B) Those that don't.
4) Those that are only interested in a long-termrelationship. We also have the sub-categories here...Those that object to the kids, and those that don't.
My first question to YOU is: "Which type of woman areYOU looking for?"
Sounds to me like you're looking for a #3, option B...a woman who's interested in some short-term fun, who wouldlike to pursue a long-term relationship if she meets agood match... and is open to the kids. (If you're onlylooking for a woman who's after short term fun, then thekids don't really matter. Just don't bring them up.)
My perspective: Date some women, and BLOW THEIR MINDSwith the techniques you've learned. Use the Cocky andFunny material... dial up the ATTRACTION... if you getphysical with them, make it UNFORGETTABLE.
My experience is that if a person is REALLY ATTRACTEDto another person, they'll put aside all obstacles inorder to be with the object of their desires.
Yes, this means 4 kids and an ex.
If I were you, I'd project the attitude that you'renot interested in any woman that can't adapt to thesituation. Communicate that YOU'RE the one doing theselecting, and it will cancel out a woman's objectionsbefore they even arise. Think about it.
If you're reading this right now, and you're in asituation in life where you'd like to get back on trackand start having more success with women and dating,then I'd recommend that you download a copy of my onlineeBook "Double Your Dating." It contains all of my verybest ideas and techniques for attracting women, and Ithink you'll find that it will DRAMATICALLY increaseyour success with women and dating.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...and download it now.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.DATING TIP: COCKY&FUNNY SUCCESS STORY
***QUESTION***
Yes, there is indeed a big difference between what youhave made of me now through the powerful insights expressedin your newsletters, and who I was before I had met you. Ialways thought that being nice, sweet, and courteous was anultimate-irrefutable way to get the girls we long to have,but the irony is that we never make that dream come true. Thanks my dear David, for showing me the Tao of being asuperb success with women, for walking with me hand by handthrough this mysterious path when it comes to women, becausereally, most of the times they make no sense. I owe you mypresent success with them, and I thank you in advance forthe foregoing prosperity that the future holds for me withthem.
I have always been funny, and separately, cocky. I neverput them together, like you put it, as a formula. So far,that formula works. I am not a chemist, but the componentsof our table salt, taken separately, is deadly to us. Sodium and Chloride: death to us. Yet, if we put themtogether, we will have its savory benefit. Same happenswhen we use only being Cocky, and just being Funny: nosuccess, and it kills any possibilities of meeting girls.When I talk to my friends about you, I say, "Guys, let'smake sure we use the Davidian formula, fusing the atoms ofCockyness+Funny." Believe me, that is how we call it:Davidian formula, lol. We have named it after you, becauseyou are its founder.
One of my favorite places to meeting people isBarnes&Noble. It's easy to ignore someone you don't feelattracted to, oh yes, very easy. It is all the oppositewhen you do feel attracted to someone. Now, at Barnes&Noble,in Downtown, I meet a lot of girls, from everywhere. Isthere a way to make fun of their beauty? I meet a lot ofhot girls, that seem to be perfect. My type are those withIrish ascendance, because they are mostly honest and havefreckles. So, when I meet a girl with freckles, eyes likea furious deep blue sea, or green eyes, like the stem of aflower, petite women with attractively dainty build, nicebutt (we guys like it, come on), and round [breasts] (welike that too). How can you make fun of that type of sexygirl, when you notice that her body has a harmonioussymmetry, that does nothing but inspiring within youpleasure and admiration? I might feel nervous, but I don't show them mynervousness. You have never told us not to feel nervous,but not to behave nervous. I feel nervous, hell yeah, butthey can't tell. As a matter of a fact, one way I couldstart a conversation with a hot girl is like this... eof them don't work there)
Me- "Excuse me, MS, do you work here (I know she does notwork there)?"
She- "No."
Me- "Good, I want you to help me find this book [I don'tsay, 'Can you please help me...' I go with a demand ofauthority... they like it]."
She- "What book is that," she asked me, as she gave methat wondrous look.
Me- "Wow, you are indeed gorgeous ... you remind me thePowerPC girls (she would be shocked, but liking it). See,my problem is that I am a very shy guy, and I am trying toget over it."
She- "What do you mean you are shy? You don't seem shy tome." (By the way, this happened to me in real life, andshe was hot for real)
Me- "Aren't you shy?"
She - "Yeah."
Me- "You don't seem shy to me either."
She- "It depends on the situation, and with the person youare talking to. Whether or not you feel comfortable."
Me- "Oh, so, I am the right person, you like this situation,and overall, you feel comfortable."
She- "See, you are not shy at all."
Me- "I gotta go." Like you taught me, I turned around andwalked 3 steps away from her and went back to her, "I wantyour e-mail address, because I feel less shy talking to you."
She- "Oh, sure, I would LOVE that."
Me- "You would love it? Hummm, so you like guys in theevolutive process of not being shy, eh?"
She hit me on the shoulder, and I accused her, "Hey, thatis sexual harassment."
She laughed, and I said to my mind, "Kids, so easily gettingamused." She had not written her e-mail, and I asked her,"Have you not written the e-mail because you forgot it? Geeez, young people these days." (She is 29, and I am 21,lol.)
She- "Oh, my...You are too much."
Me- "For you to handle?"
She stared at me.
I slightly smiled at her, and said, "What? You like my lips?They are not average... You should be grateful if I touchyour forehead with them."
She was laughing so hard that her face turned red, but Inever laughed, rather, would smirk.
She gave me her e-mail, and I said, "Have a good night." She replied, "You too, bye."
I said, "Wait, are you leaving like that without saying'it was pleasure meeting you?"'
She said, "Wow, are you always like this?"
Me - "Do you mean offering kisses?"
She laughed, and said, "No, silly ... like being with thissense of humor."
"All the time, " I said. She was quiet, staring at me, andsaid, "I wish all men were like you." I said, "No, I am gladthey are not like me. They fail in trying to imitate me" (I wanted to leave already, even though I was having a goodtime). She asked me, "Why you say that?" "Hey kid, " I said,"I really have to go ... but you forgot to write down yourphone number."
She sighed, in a good way, and wrote it down. To makethis short, I called her the same night, and she was, "Wow, Iwas not expecting your call." I said, "No, I am calling youbecause I forgot to wish you sweet dreams, and also checkingto see if you made it home safe." "That is so sweet ofyou...," she said, and I told her that I ought to go. Shedid not want me to, but I did leave. We met again, at herhouse, and half an hour of me being there, and talking, Isaid, "Look, I have to go." "What?! Why?" she asked. Isaid, "Maybe you want to take a rest, or lay on your bed, andyou don't do it because I am here, unless you promise me thatif you lay in bed you will take me with you." She did notsay anything, nor smile, but jumped to me and kissed me.Needless to say, I swear David, we had sex. It was great.
I did not mean to make this e-mail too long, but hey, Icould not help it. Mind me that I get mad when you tell usnot to make it over two paragraphs, and I see people (likeme) writing long speeches. I am not sorry, whatsoever, lol.I know you feel great, and proud of yourself when you seepeople like me being successful by following your techniques.
I will rephrase my question, "What funny+cocky statementsshall we make, when it comes to an-almost-perfect-girl?" "How should I react, when they hit my shoulders?" "Whatshould I say, when they say I am too funny?" By the way, Iam not having anything serious with that girl I just talkedabout... I told her that I want to have fun with her, andshe agreed. I told her that it means that if she wants tosee someone else, she can do it. She did not complaint.
I will see you soon, David. I won't miss this seminarsin New York. Keep the excellence of your masterpiece works.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, man. First I have to tell you...
YOUR EMAIL IS A TOTAL FREAKSHOW!
But you know what? I actually like it. I like it becauseit's the real deal. You did things that I wouldn't havenecessarily done... and you did things that typically"shouldn't have worked", but it obviously all came togetherand worked out in the end because you did ENOUGH OF THERIGHT THINGS.
Let's revisit some of my favorite quotes:
"My type are those with Irish ascendance, because they aremostly honest and have freckles."
Mostly honest and freckles, huh? Interesting fetish.
"So, when I meet a girl with freckles, eyes likea furious deep blue sea, or green eyes, like the stem of aflower, petite women with attractively dainty build, nicebutt (we guys like it, come on), and round [breasts] (welike that too). How can you make fun of that type of sexygirl, when you notice that her body has a harmonioussymmetry, that does nothing but inspiring within youpleasure and admiration?"
Eyes like a furious deep blue sea? Or green eyes... likethe stem of a flower? Harmonious symmetry? Whoa.
"I have always been funny, and separately, cocky. I neverput them together, like you put it, as a formula. So far,that formula works. I am not a chemist, but the componentsof our table salt, taken separately, is deadly to us. Sodium and Chloride: death to us. Yet, if we put themtogether, we will have its savory benefit. Same happenswhen we use only being Cocky, and just being Funny: nosuccess, and it kills any possibilities of meeting girls."
This is an interesting way of saying it... again, alittle bit of a complete FREAKSHOW, but I like it. If youuse too much of one and too little of the other things justwon't work out.
Now that we've revisited my FAVORITE lines, let'sreview some of the EFFECTIVE things you did and said.
This was funny:
"Wow, you are indeed gorgeous ... you remind me thePowerPC girls..."
Something tells me that you actually meant the "PowderPuff Girls", but hey, close enough.
And this whole sequence is great:
"She hit me on the shoulder, and I accused her, "Hey, thatis sexual harassment."
She laughed, and I said to my mind, "Kids, so easily gettingamused." She had not written her e-mail, and I asked her,"Have you not written the e-mail because you forgot it? Geeez, young people these days." (She is 29, and I am 21,lol.)
She- "Oh, my...You are too much."
Me- "For you to handle?"
She stared at me.
I slightly smiled at her, and said, "What? You like my lips?They are not average... You should be grateful if I touchyour forehead with them."
She was laughing so hard that her face turned red, but Inever laughed, rather, would smirk."
This is real COCKY AND FUNNY in action.
LOL! "What? You like my lips? They are not average... Youshould be grateful if I touch your forehead with them!!!"
Now that's funny.
You started out going down the road of "What? You like mylips?" which sounds very cocky... over the top even. But thenyou transition into the unique and original "You should begrateful if I touch your forehead with them."
Again, it's off the wall, but it's funny and it works.The shift in direction is funny and confusing.
Even though it's obvious that you speak English as asecond (or so) language, you get the concept... and you'remaking it work for you.
To answer your questions, I really think that you'redoing the right things. When that girl hit you, you turnedit around and made it funny.
Telling a girl that she's cute like a cartoon is anice touch (I'm still hoping that's what you meant).
If a girl tells you that you're too funny, just say:
"That's impossible."
...or...
"I'm glad you noticed. I realize that this is making youvery attracted to me, but please control yourself."
Just keep coming up with new creative ways to tease,bust on, and be a challenge.
Thanks for your email. It's a great example of how tobe creative and use the materials in a real-worldsituation.
...and if you're reading this right now and you'd liketo learn more specific techniques for meeting women,including my personal favorite Cocky and Funny lines touse in common situations, then I'd recommend that youdownload a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating".It's full of great ideas and techniques for meeting anddating the kinds of women you've always wanted. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...to get it.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. I just read an email from a guy who went and watchedthe small video clip of me teaching live at my Los Angelesseminar. He gave me some great feedback, and it dawned on methat I should be asking for more. If you're thinking ofcoming to the New York Seminar in September, do me a favorand go watch the clip of me, and the clip of the fourattendees talking about their experiences... and give mesome feedback. I'm trying to keep it real, and neither ofthese clips was "staged". They're real, candid, and genuine.You can see them at: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/seminar/Let me know what you think when you send in success stories.Just email me at SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com.
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***The New York Seminar is coming up fast, and it's alsoFILLING up fast, so make sure you reserve your seat! Justgo to: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/seminar/ for all thedetails...
This week we have a FANTASTIC Mailbag. All kinds of goodstuff, so enjoy.
***COMMENT***
Dave, All I have to say is that the Cocky/Funny attitude is seriously the golden ticket to getting girls. I can honestly say now from acting this way towards girls my success has skyrocketed in just a matter of time. Just from reading your newsletters I have gained so much self confidence in myself in meeting and approaching girls. I at first thought your newsletter was a bunch of bs at first because (stupid I) thought girls liked "nice guys". Not the case at all, I can't thank you enough for all these tips you have shared with us, and I'm buying your book at the end of this week! Oh and I've seen some people comment that the cocky/funny approach doesn't work, your 100% wrong, just try harder and believe in yourself. CB, New York
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for your email. It's hard for some guys to evenentertain the idea that being Cocky and Funny with womencould actually make them feel ATTRACTION. I wouldn't haveimagined it in a million years...
But the fact is that even though it doesn't make logicalsense, it works. I'm actually writing another book rightnow about the concept of ATTRACTION and how it works...
I've done a lot of research, thinking, experimenting, andwatching to get to the bottom of how and why ATTRACTIONexists, and more importantly how to create it with yourbehavior, communication, etc. There's a lot more to come,so keep your eyes open for it.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
I've never really liked your approach, even though I have no doubt that it works... personally it rubs me up the wrong way, and I'd rather go out with a guy who'd listen to my problems. But hey, maybe I'm a one off. However, though I'm a girl I've been trying out your C&F routine for a while. Funnily enough it works just as well for men as it does for girls... I think partly because guys are so shocked that a girl would go about ball busting them, but also be flirtatious at the same time. My favorite move is to always refuse any free drink offers, yet keep up the C&F routine. ("why, do you think you have to buy me or something?") It seems to send guys into a tailspin. Keep up the good work.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hm, first you tell me that Cocky and Funny rubs you thewrong way, then you agree that it works, and even on men...then encourage me to keep up the good work.
Hey, would you do me a favor and write a book teachingwomen how to use your "Don't accept free drinks" technique?I think it would go over very well!
No, really... I think you should do it. It's just the kindof wisdom that our women of today need. And you're just theperson to do it. You'd be helping women all over the world.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dear David,
One of my friends wants to slap the sh** out of you! Your advice to the guy at the gym was totally out of line and rude. The guy looked at a woman too long. The woman then told him she had a boyfriend. He then said, "I realize that is a major accomplishment for you, however, it it quite normal for a woman to have a boyfriend."
First of all, the comment insinuates that the woman is a lesbian, or does not deserve a decent guy in her life. Lesbians in this country are in a minority and their rights are protected by law. All women have the right to choose their partner, whether male or female. Women also have the right to choose the most compatible male available. This person, in my friends opinion, does not deserve the time of the day from that particular woman for being so insulting to her face.
Second, the comment slaps the woman in the face. The woman at the gym may have problems finding and keeping a boyfriend. She may be shy. That comment is a good way to injure a woman's delicate psyche.
I urge you to reconsider the advice given to that man. I am not the only one to say this. Maybe you should quit writing this column and give the job to a woman!!!
Thank You,
B.R.
Belleview, Florida.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, I smiled with joy when I read this one.
This woman has gone on to email me again twice rantingabout my newsletters and materials. The latest one wasa bizarre misinterpretation of a part of my book. It wasgreat.
But let's stick to the email at hand...
And to be fair, I'll reprint the original section thatyou're commenting on (before I mock you in front of manythousands of male readers who are already biased againstyou because they know I'm going to mock you):
***ORIGINAL EMAIL***
Just wanted to share a little bit of what your lessons havedone for me. I read your book and started concentrating onwhat I thought was my weak points. I did as your bookrecommended and started picturing myself as the cocky funnyperson I wanted to be. I even did the whole daydreampractice thing everyday. I work at a fitness center so Isee lots of hot women all the time. My biggest weakness isthat I look away quickly after eye contact is made. Idecided that before I started trying to approach women Iwould make it my goal for a couple of weeks to just makeeye contact and hold it until they looked away. Ok, here isthe good part. After practicing eye contact for a couple ofweeks and doing the whole mental exercise thing, I was atwork one day working out after my break and was practicingmy eye contact thing between sets with this really hot girlnear the dumbbell rack.
I knew she noticed but it never bothered me cause I had nointentions of acting. Well, I had to go over to get a setof dumbbells for my next exercise and as I got close towhere she was she suddenly turned around and said "I havea boyfriend" and turned around. Normally I would have kindastood there in shock and said nothing but, I guess all thatmental practice paid off. With out even thinking or pausingthe words just came out. I said "Hey that's great I am happyfor you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know this isprobably a major accomplishment for you but to the rest athe world this is kinda normal so you might not want to gotelling every stranger you see." Then I just walked offwith my weights to do my sets. 5 min later she comes overto me and apologizes and asks for my number. Turns out shedidn't have a boyfriend but was just tired of being pickedup by losers while she was trying to do a workout. Thanksfor the pleasant surprise!
***END***
[I didn't include my answer, because it was a few pageslong... as you may remember]
So let's consider your first comment of:
"First of all, the comment insinuates that the woman is a lesbian, or does not deserve a decent guy in her life. Lesbians in this country are in a minority and their rights are protected by law. All women have the right to choose their partner, whether male or female. Women also have the right to choose the most compatible male available. This person, in my friends opinion, does not deserve the time of the day from that particular woman for being so insulting to her face."
Lesbians are a minority? The comment insinuates that she'sa lesbian? Women have the RIGHT to choose the "mostcompatible male available"?
Can I ask you PLEASE PASS ME THE CRACK PIPE, because it'sobviously some good stuff. I mean, you MUST be high.
My comments are only taking away from the beautifulcomedy that you've already created in this heartfeltparagraph, so I'll continue with your next...
"Second, the comment slaps the woman in the face. The woman at the gym may have problems finding and keeping a boyfriend. She may be shy. That comment is a good way to injure a woman's delicate psyche."
The only problem that the woman at the gym was having isthe ability to TELL THE TRUTH! Hell, she opened hermouth and lied to a complete stranger without even beingspoken to.
The reason she might have a problem "finding and keeping aboy friend" is that she's a liar! I don't know a lot ofpeople that feel compelled to lie to people they've nevermet or spoken to, but this is a little red flag, in myhumble opinion. And it's surely NOT a sign of SHYNESS.
LOL! You're killing me.
Yea, ALL of my shy friends feel compelled to startconversations with strangers by lying. It's a fundamentalpart of the "shyness" complex.
CRACK PIPE PLEASE.
Oh, and this "woman's delicate psyche" B.S. is reallynice. How nice of you to frame all women as "delicatepsychological flowers" who are wrongfully injured bybrutally interesting men who bust on them.
And to wrap up, you go with:
"I urge you to reconsider the advice given to that man. I am not the only one to say this. Maybe you should quit writing this column and give the job to a woman!!!"
Yea, you're right...
I'm reconsidering right now.
Oh, already came to a decision... I was right on.
And you know, I really think your idea of me turning overthis "column" to a woman is a great idea. Maybe you couldhandle it for me?
Let me guess, you're actually writing this from your laptopinside the "Carter" building... you know, the one in NewJack City that was taken over by gangsters and convertedinto... what else?
A CRACK HOUSE.
Wow, I could work with this material all day. If I canstop laughing maybe I'll dig up your other emails thatyou've sent me since this one for the next mailbags... Icouldn't imagine better material if I tried.
***QUESTION***
Hi,
Could you give an Cocky and Funny example answering "What time is it?" from an obviously interested (well, more or less) chick?
DJ
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a great question.
I think it's a great idea to come up with some greatcomebacks for common situations like this. Think themthrough.
There are probably 10 or 20 situations where women starttalking to you, and you should be ready for all of them.
To answer your specific question... try these:
"I will tell you the time, but I just want to let youknow that I see right through your little ploy to meet me.I realize that you probably don't see such attractivemen often, but you didn't have to use such an obviousline to meet me."
"It's time for you to get a watch."
"What an unoriginal pickup line."
...now come up with 10 of your own. And come up withothers for the other common situations where women starttalking to you.
***SUCCESS STORY***
i juz thought u might like to hear about a very recent success story...earlier today actually....i was in school (college summer classes) not plannin on pickin up girls at all....i mean i was there in basketball shorts and slippers, wut can i say, i was tired, i didnt feel like gettin all dressed up for school...well anyways...on to the story....there was this new girl there, id hafta rate her about an 8, the body was bangin....neways i went outside the class to work and so did she so i layed deep into the C&F. like soon as the door closed im all "why u following me? geez" well we got to talkin cuz as we all know...bookwork is very boring...after about an hour shes all "take me to lunch, i'm buying" so i was like "naw i got a lotta book work to do u need to get to work slacker" and that did it. she was like "be a slacker with me, cmon, please??" it was great so after awhile of her begging i went out and let her buy me lunch....well i juz thought u'd like to hear yet another success story.
J.B. Nor Cal
>>>MY COMMENTS:
One of the greatest things you can do is play hard toget when a woman is doing something uncharacteristic...like offering to buy you lunch or take you out.
It's ESPECIALLY powerful if the woman is unusuallyattractive. Attractive women have NO IDEA what to dowhen a man isn't being a typical wussy... it createsa situation that is both mysterious and challenging tothe woman.
I've had plenty of success in my day when I was not alldressed up. When you're dressed casually and it's obviousthat you don't care what others think... AND you're beingCocky and Funny is kind of says "I am a person that haspower regardless of my appearance". It's powerful.
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
Your techniques are right on target. Your guidelines helped me become successful on everything from approaching women to being confident and having fun doing it. I went from the nice guy "wussy" that women practically ignored, to something along the lines of well, a player! The cocky funny routine matches with my sarcastic personality and women cant seem to get enough of it.
Ok, well Ive done the routine and picked from about the 10 hottest girls and now have a very hot g/f , but now there is a dilemma. My chemistry teacher now wants me, Im dead sure of it (shes only 3 years older than me). But this is one of the biggest challenges ive ever come across and I think it needs your expert opinion. First, she is every guys fantasy and a 10,000 on the 1-10 hotness scale...(yeah the girl is that hot) The problem is she definitely knows this. I have heard many guys hit on her and she has shot all of them down, I heard it with my own ears. She already asked me indirectly twice if I was going to a local place to watch a game, unfortunately I couldn't make it both times. And it seems like the more I ignore her the more she flirts. I want to build the tension to the absolute highest level before I decide to show the slightest bit of interest, how do I do this effectively?...
Your Friend,
J.R.New Jersey
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hm. Yea. I think I know what to do.
I think that it's just too dangerous for you to startsomething with your teacher. And if she's this attractivethere's only one thing I can think of to do.
I'm going to be in New York in September doing a seminar,and I would be willing to do you the personal favor ofcoming to N.J. and escorting this woman myself. I'll handleit, and you won't have to worry about her anymore.
I'd do that for you, since we're friends and all...
OK, try this:
Next time she asks you where you're going, just say"Isn't it against the rules for you to keep asking methese kinds of questions?" and give her a sly smile.
Then laugh, and say "Hey, do you have email?"
Get her email, and write her an email that says:
"Hey, I'm busy today and tomorrow, but I might have sometime this weekend. Maybe we should have a cup of tea andsome stimulating conversation... and you can help me withmy homework."
That should do the trick.
Oh, and if you decide that you just aren't up to it anddon't want to risk it, let me know. I'm here for you.
***QUESTION***
Dave, I want to thank you for your book and for always answering my questions. Since reading your book, I have been working out, dressing nicer, and attracting women. I am only 5'5 but, when I am using your techniques women seem to focusmore on my build, clothes, and personality rather than how short I am. My question is; my car lease is ending and since I won't have a car for a while, how will I be able to date women? The meeting and attracting I am beginning to master, but how do I take a women out on date and what to I say to them if I don't have a car or access to one. Thanks for all your help and everyone should go buy this book. It is awesome! FJ, NY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, don't stress about it.
If I were in your situation, I'd tell women something like:
"OK, do you have a car? Good, because my lease just endedand I'm between cars... and a woman without a car justisn't an option for me."
Turn it around and make it something funny! Make it aqualification that a woman has to meet...
I would. Great opportunity for Cocky and Funny!
***QUESTION***
Hi David -
DYD, and your newsletter, rock!
I was wondering if you are planning any seminars that might be closer to where I am than L.A.? I am based in Tokyo, Japan... How about Hawaii?
B.T.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I'm getting GREAT feedback for the New York seminar,and I'd love to do others.
I've gotten emails from all around the world saying "Comedo a seminar in Australia" etc.
I would have to have enough guys coming for it to makesense, because doing a seminar costs more than one mightthink. And doing one on the other side of the world fromme would be pricey.
OK, for kicks I set up a few email addresses to get somefeedback (I just did it on the spot). If you'd be interestedin attending a seminar with me, do this:
1. Go to http://www.doubleyourdating.com/seminar/ and readabout the seminar, price, and details.
2. Send an email to one of the following addresses to letme know which you'd be interested in attending:
Australia: auseminar@doubleyourdating.comEurope: europeseminar@doubleyourdating.comJapan: japanseminar@doubleyourdating.comHawaii: hawaiiseminar@doubleyourdating.comChicago: chicagoseminar@doubleyourdating.com
Again, go read about the seminar, then email one of theabove addresses to tell that you'd be interested in attending... thanks!
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave!
Just wanted to say that your C+F techniques work like magic -they have such a strong impact that sometimes a girl can just say "I love you" literally half an hour into the conversation.or things like "you are the only person who seems to understand me", or "i've never met anyone like you before!" I especially like situations when they ask you for some favorlike a drink, to take them out to a club/bar, or simply to hold something... immediately I say .."... And what am I gonna get in return?" They freeze for a sec and then usually say: "A hug", "a kiss", "or anything you like" lol depending on the situation I may say "Nah, not good enough..." and then say "go do it yourself" or something along the lines. Anyways, I was sitting in one pizza place with one of these chicks and she asked me to take her to some exclusive place I know and I said my phrase (above). I was expecting she'd say "anything you like when we get there" but instead she backfired: "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" - I froze for a sec - and then I said that it wasn't good enough... lol and she nodded and smiled (it's like she knew I was in the game) but still, it was the first time I heard such a response and I was wondering what you would say the best response is to this sort of situations/comments! Everyone get the Book! It's a treasure!!
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a fantastic observation. When you are "in the zone"with your Cocky and Funny, and you're really being aninteresting challenge while at the same time making herlaugh, you'll get all kinds of amazing responses.
It's not uncommon to have a woman say "I've never metanyone like you before". It's true they usually haven't!
Most guys kiss up to them, act fake, try to buy themdinners and gifts to get their attention, and generallyact like Wuss-Bags.
Some see Cocky and Funny as being "too manipulative",but when it's done right it's the opposite. It's learninghow to be fun, interesting, challenging, and magnetic.
And your question of "What am I going to get in return"is must magic. It catches women totally off guard... andit's charming. It's very suggestive, while still beingclassy. Great job.
Thanks for your email.
***COMMENT***
Hello David,
Much of your information is insightful, and educational. However, I think the heart of the matter in regards to men's fear of women, is the fact that men see what attracts them in a woman, only it requires a theatrical performance that puts them on stage. The real fear is a result of one's own inner psychology working against their conscious brain, that if the verbal presentation isn't met with approval then the result is personal rejection by a woman who meant so much in one's own mind, which is taken personally due to it's sexual ramifications, an absence of sex. Comedians call it shtick, and without a well rehearsed comedic routine, then there indeed is something to be nervous about. Women are very much like a rabid dog, keenly smelling fear and able to inflict personal pain, the key is to approach not only without fear, but with indifference so as not to get bit with total rejection. Men are better at dealing with physical scars than the psychological ones, which take far longer to heal, and some don't. Unlike a man, women are totally unforgiving, and every man knows this, and this is the "fulcrum of fear", knowing we are coming in for the approach without power and it must be done to her unknown mental terrain... right now. The difficulty for women is the fact that society places beauty on a pedestal, which automatically inflates their ego far beyond what they can handle. Pretty girls get off on rejecting men, it feeds the ego quite nicely. It's the equivalent of the school bully beating up all the other boys, only women do it psychologically using their beauty and then rejection. And unlike the physical presence of a battered victim, the feelings are invisible and go unnoticed, without any regard for the psychological result. Absence of fear (calmness)and indifference (self control)eliminates a woman'spsychological control. This power is what they are born with if attractive. Combine this with a biological hormonal imbalance and you have... a beautiful rabid bad dog. They are also in a unique circumstance that is making them more dysfunctional with the progression of time especially in the United States. They are gaining more power in the world as playing the role that men have (psychological strength), and yet are to be receptive sexually to a man's advances (psychological submissive). This is a total dichotomy whose result is confusion in their own minds and rejection feedsthe new power that fuels the immediate psychological satisfaction through self gratification. This is far more prevalent in the industrial countries than in the third world, where a woman's naked breast is a thing of beauty that is not even noticed. Here in the U.S. a nude breast is taboo, and met with nervous arrest. Thus the difficulty in attempting to communicate with the opposite sex is three dimensional, being biological, psychological, and cultural. Did I mention their interests are the opposite of most men? Don't get me started....
T.W- the Phoenix P.S. Me....well, I burned out about five years ago, and hope to eventually rise from the ashes to re-enter the psychological arena and do battle once again.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Phew. That was kind of intense.
Clearly the words of a guy who's been there.
I would like to comment on one thing. You said somethingin the middle that stood out as a gem:
"Absence of fear (calmness) and indifference (self control)eliminates a woman's psychological control."
This is a profound thought. I think that men everywhereneed to get this idea at a deep level.
I was listening to India Arie's album, which I think ispretty cool (As Butthead would say "Chickth Dig It").
She has a song on the album called "Back To The Middle".
I think that us guys tend to get too far to one extremeor the other when it comes to women.
We either see them as "innocent girls" who just need a guyto be nice, buy them dinner, protect them, etc. in orderto get their love and approval...
Or we see them as cold, hardened, ice-hearted controlfreaks who emotionally and psychologically manipulate us.
My experience is that most women fall in the middle ofthis range, and they will act differently in differentsituations. If you act like a wussy, call 47 times a day,devote yourself to her, and become a complete emotionalsuckerfish, she's likely to get so repulsed that she'llwalk all over your sensitive little feelings with herstiletto heels.
If you she favors you and becomes emotionally attached,then you take advantage of her and abuse her emotionallyand psychologically, then you might see the more frailand weak side.
On the other hand, if you "Come back to the middle" andcultivate more indifference while lessening yourinsecurity, you can bypass a lot of this extreme andunhealthy stuff.
"Absence of fear (calmness) and indifference (self control)eliminates a woman's psychological control."
***COMMENT***
I'm not sure whether to thank you or berate you. You may not realize this, but while you are helping thousands of clueless guys you are also hurting the entire male population by raising the bar. The more mentally attractive guys there are out there, the less attractive they all seem. If everyone drove a Ferrari, then Ferraris would be as boring and commonplace as a cheap Ford, no matter how physically beautiful the car is. No one wants boring and commonplace. That's partially why C&F is so attractive to women (As if youdidn't already know this). Now I know that you're barely making a dent in the population of wusses out there, but word is beginning to spread. You might consider toning down your marketing or not giving out so many of the info gems. Or you may ruin everything you're working for. Can you imagine a world where wusses are the attractive ones... just because they're different? The thought makes me shudder. Anyway, I'd give you a success story but I think I've said enough.If you start cloning Jedi, then you'll have a clone war on your hands.
-BJS in Houston
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Myguess isn't that being a wussy is EVERY going to make theladies feel attracted to you.
And it's going to be a loooooong time before enough guysin this world learn how to actually make women feelATTRACTION. I think you're going to be OK.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David, I've only had your book for a few days now, and it's paying off. Let me preface by saying that I've been able to do the cocky-funny thing my whole life, but somehow believed that I had to keep it in check and be a 'nice guy' in order for women to really fall for me (Ouch!). Anyway, I've seen lots of people ask you about how to get dates with waitresses or bartenders etc. and thought I'd share: Friday night I'm playing a gig with a band at a local venue, so I show up early for soundcheck. There's [an attractive]waitress there, and she starts talking to me (Didn't evenhave to worry about approaching her!) so I decide to pourit on. It went something like this:
Her: "God, I'm tired. I need to take a nap."
Me: "Well, you can't sleep here or we'll have to ask you to leave. You know, I've been sitting here waiting for 5 minutes for you to get me another drink. No tip fior you, I guess."
Her, laughing: "OK, hold your horses." (gets drink) "So what's your name?" (introduces herself)
Me: "Oh, trying to pick me up already, huh? You know I hardlyknow you, and I don't give my phone number out to strangers."
Her, laughing, looking at me in disbelief: "That's bullsh**! I'm just trying to be nice!"
Me: "Sure you are. Well, if you insist, you can give me your number. I mean, who knows, maybe we can be friends?" Bingo.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, Bingo.
But hey, Bingo doesn't usually have prizes like this one,does it?
***QUESTION***
Hi, I've been getting your letter in my e-mail for a while now, one thing that I don't understand is the Kissing Test. How do you do it? I must have missed something, but I'm curious from all of the success stories that use it.
Thx. (You da man) E.L. OK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Just go to my main website and enter again. It's on the veryfirst page after the entry page.
***QUESTION***
David,
I've been having some really good success getting women from online personal ads to respond. I used your formula, modified with some of my own material.
Then I follow up with my email version of cocky&funny. I wanted to share a recent email that I received:
"You've managed to intrigue me. Give me a call when you get a chance...555-1234
I like your confidence! M."
This was just her 2nd email to me. And I didn't even have to ASK her for her #, she just volunteered it. I'll be calling her this evening. Obviously, I have changed her phone number - I don't want all your subscribers calling her too!
Here's my question:
Many times she won't volunteer her #. In your book, you suggest that the next step is to get her number so you can set up a meeting. I have found that sometimes you can skip the # part and arrange the meeting via email. But some women are more open to this than others. Is there a good rule of thumb here?
Thanks for everything,
S.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Good job.
I personally like to email first, then have a telephoneconversation. I think that the email establishes aninteresting and unusual relationship... and the telephonefirms it up and is a better way to set up the next meeting.
I've tried all kinds of combinations, and this is mypersonal experience.
Email first, then call to set up the meeting.
You're doing a great job, and thanks for your email!
...and if you're reading this right now and saying toyourself:
"You know, it sure would be cool to get this part of mylife handled and to figure out how to actually make womenfeel attracted to me..."
...then I'd recommend that you go and download a copy ofmy online eBook "Double Your Dating: What Every Man ShouldKnow About How To Be Successful With Women". It's jampacked with all of my very best ideas and techniques formeeting and attracting women.
It's not a bunch of recycled pickup lines and stupidideas that you don't work. It's taken me years to figureit all out, and you won't find the materials anywhereelse.
Best part? 100% money-back guarantee. If you're notTHRILLED with it, just email and ask for a refund. It'sthat simple. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and download it.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) I LOVE comments from women! So send away.
6) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
DATING TIP: GETTING BACK IN THE GAMEDATING TIP: "Getting Back In The Game"
...or...
"Getting Back In Touch With That Part Of You That Knows HowTo Attract Women"
------------------------------------------------------------>To SUBSCRIBE to this FREE newsletter, just go to:
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*The New York Seminar is coming up in September, and it'sbeginning to fill up. For all the details, just go to:http://www.doubleyourdating.com/seminar/
***COMMENT***
Hi Dave,
I have been reading your emails for some time and have foundthem most enlightening.
Something you wrote in your last Mailbag - How to avoidbeing "Just Friends", caught my attention. You mentionedthat some friends you knew, now no longer need to approachwomen.
I went through a stage when I was younger, 16, 17 & 18,where I knew I didn't need to talk to women. I'd be withfriends at the shopping mall, where I'd have girls asking memy name, phone number etc. I was always noticed, which Iknew had something to do with my body language and the way I conducted myself.
This was all very well until I took a fall from grace afterbeing accused of being egotistical, and then spent the lastfew years searching for this confidence that I'd lost.Unsuccessfully.
After reading your column, I used your cocky funny theory tochat with a few women and suddenly found my feet again, itwas amazing. Like jumping back on a bike after years ofdriving a car.
I recently started a new job in which I knew I was not goingto stay. I asked out the most attractive woman in thecompany, knowing I had nothing to lose, I have been out withher once and now have her wanting to go out again, afterI've left.
Now I'm iching to get out again on the weekend and meet somemore hotties.
I do have some advice for your readers, don't sit there onsidelines, put yourself in the game, playing is the onlyway to learn.
Thanks,
The new masterSydney, Australia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I have always found situations like yours fascinating.
It seems to me that a lot of times, we know exactly whatto do to get the results we want... but for whatever reasonwe just don't do it.
Here are some common reasons for this:
1) We get bored. Boredom is one of the most common causesof failure in my experience. Here's how it works: You startdoing something, get great success, but start to think thatyou need to do something new because YOU'RE getting boredwith it... not because others are.
2) A negative emotional experience. When a negativeexperience is coupled with a strong emotion, it creates adeep IMPRINT. In your case, you were accused of being"egotistical". I'm assuming that for whatever reason thiscaused you to feel BAD, which led to you deciding that youneeded to behave differently.
3) By trying to make small improvements we lose the originalformula that created success... or we just plain evolve toa different strategy that turns out to not be as successful.I've done this many times in my life. By trying to makesomething better I actually make it worse.
4) Just plain forgetting. Let's say that you are single, andyou're going out a lot, meeting a lot of women, and reallyhaving a lot of success. Then let's say you meet a reallynice woman and have a relationship for two years... but thenbreak up. It's easy to forget all of the little nuances thatmade you successful in the past... and to just "start over"from scratch.
5) Feeling like we need to be original and unique in everysituation. I've watched many, many situations where a guywill see a woman that he'd like to meet, but he doesn't knowwhat to say to her to start a conversation because he feelslike he needs to come up with something catchy and original.
Of course, there are more reasons than this, but theseare some of the most common ones I see.
So what's the answer? What can you do to avoid losingthe great game that you've created?
Here are a few techniques that I and some of my friendsuse:
1) Keep a journal. I know, I know... you don't want tolook like a homeless poet or some out-of-work screenwritersitting in a cafe with nothing better to do than write toyourself...
But keeping a journal of your best ideas and how they'veworked is a GREAT idea. You don't have to get fancy, and youdon't need to take a lot of time with this.
Just remember to write down things that work for you.
You might be out for tea with a woman, and casually bringup a book you read about unusual sexual practices... andnotice that it gets a great response. Write it down in the"interesting ideas" section of your journal so you rememberto try it again. (I haven't tried this particular one, butI have found that women love to talk about sex in general)
The point is that if you keep a record of all the bestthings you do, then you can look back at it and refreshyour memory any time you want. It's a great idea, and Ido it. It's one of the single best things I've done toimprove quickly with women.
2) Have one good default thing to do for every commonsituation. Have one way to start conversations, one wayto get emails and numbers, one great place to go for atea/coffee meeting, etc.
If you can't think of something original in the moment,then you have something to do that will work well. If youdon't do this, you'll wind up hesitating and losing all kindsof opportunities.
The journal is a great place to write down all of your"default" techniques, plan them out, and organize them foreasy refreshing.
3) Put negative experiences into proper perspective.
When you have a negative emotional experience, it can beintense... and it can have an impact on your behavior. It'simportant to remember that just because you had a negativeexperience doesn't necessarily meant that you did somethingwrong.
The best stock traders lose money on many trades.
The best sports stars lose games often.
The best weather forecasters are often wrong.
But do they let temporary setbacks deter them frombeing successful?
Of course not. They get right back on track and keepgoing.
If you get turned down for a date, or a woman stopscalling you back, or a woman says that you're a rude andarrogant bastard because you made fun of her... you needto stop and think about the situation.
If you're successful most of the other times, then youneed to decide if this was because you're truly not doingthe right thing or if it was just one of those situationsthat happens once in awhile.
I heard a great quote awhile back, but I can't rememberwho originally said it or wrote it:
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failureis trying to please everyone."
4) Keep learning all the time. If you stop learning newthings, your mind starts becoming set in it's ways.
The way to keep improving and becoming more successfulis to putting innovative ideas into your mind. You mustcontinue to learn in order to continually become better.
And on that note, if you haven't downloaded your copyof my online eBook, then you're missing out on one of thebest learning opportunities there is in the area of meetingand dating women. To get your copy, just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook
And by the way, make sure and forward this email to afriend and encourage them to sign up for my free newsletter.They'll appreciate it, and I'll appreciate it.
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
MAILBAG: GREAT TECHNIQUES FOR ATTRACTING WOMENTHE MAILBAG: Great Techniques For Attracting Women
***QUESTION***
Hey -
I am 18 years old and just graduated high school. I used to be a MAJOR wuss and when I was younger I was always a shy kid who was picked on a lot because I was a short, skinny kid that never stood up for myself. And worst of all, I never took advantage of high school to get girls! I started getting your newsletter earlier this year and the cocky + funny attitude changed my life in more ways than one. I hang out with guys that get the hottest high school girls you can ever imagine. Not only do they get 9's and 10's, I see these girls obsess over them. I was around them so much that I tried to model thier behavior around girls and I noticed that EVERYTHING you preach about, comes to them NATURALLY. Every tip of advice you've given to guys ACTUALLY works, and Ive seen it first hand.
I started using cocky + funny myself and even use lines that Ive seen my friends use in past cases. I saw a HOT girl in the mall and she was checking herself out in a pocket mirror so I said "don't worry, your hair doesn't look THATTT bad". She started laughing even though I just made fun of her! I asked for her email and when she said she doenst have the internet, I used your line "well do you have electricity"? AGAIN the girl laughed, and I ended up getting her phone # and I hooked up with her that weekend!
MY QUESTION - my natural personality has transformed from a wussy shy nice kid to a guy that's gonna bust your balls, but a nice guy at heart. I made a lot more girl "friends" too, but whenever they try to tell me their sad stories, I let them know Im not their boyfriend and do not care. Whenever I gain the courage to use cocky+funny, it WORKS but my problem is even though I've seen this work in action, I fear I don't know enough cocky+funny lines to keep up a conversation with a girl. Also, do you recommend hitting on random strangers you see, because my friends say they never really hit on strangers unless they have areason to go up and talk to them. My friends also say toALWAYS have 5 "project girls" and never focus on one girl.Is this true? please write back.
E from NYC >>>MY COMMENTS: It's interesting, because I actually discovered the Cockyand Funny technique by watching guys who were good withwomen. In fact, a guy who is now a good friend was tryingto explain the concept to me a few years back... and hewas the first one to say "Cocky and Funny". Of course, Ihad no idea what he was talking about at the time. Itreally made no sense to me.
But after I started working with it and watching otherguys who were really successful with women, I learnedhow it worked.
It sounds like you're really getting it - congrats!
As for your questions...
Don't worry about being able to "come up with enoughlines to keep up a conversation". Just do what you can,and enjoy yourself. A few Cocky and Funny lines usedhere and there are MUCH better than nothing at all.
If you feel like approaching strangers, great. If youjust realize that most women are going to be nice, butsome will be either unavailable or unfriendly thenyou'll be fine. I have personally had great successmeeting "strangers", and as my good friend Rick says:Every friend you have started out as a stranger...
And as for the "5 project girls", you're cracking meup over here. If you like the idea of staying singleand dating a lot of different women, then this is theway to do it! Just make sure they don't turn into yourpersonal "psychological projects".
Thanks for your email.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave....
I'm a premed student who has been subscribing to your newsletter for quite a while now. I've been meaning to buy your book but im not in the habit of using a credit card so ill have to open an account especially for this. Anyway, i've been going out with this girl for 9 months now. She is smart, attractive, and funny. the way i landed her was by being cocky funny. EXTREMELY cocky funny. i was always one step ahead of her. It was kind of like "Dont even TRY to challenge me, im already inside your head!". everything was cool. but to tell the truth (and no offense) i just kind of got tired of the constant effort.....so i cooled it off a bit not always seizing the opportunity to remind her just who it is she's dealing with. And i think i got screwed. Now i feel like i've turned into a wuss....and i HATE IT !!! no..I LOATHE IT !!!!!!!!!! When i turn on the macho act she's a pussy cat again. You see i want someone to whom i can genuinely be....just nice to, with her appreciating it and NOT taking advantage. i mean since this is a long-term relationship i want someone who will give me a smooth ride without all that continuos maintenance. I dont wanna be cocky and tough all my life with her, sometimes a guy just wants to relax. Is it possible?? F.Z, Lebanon
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ooooooo, good question.
I've seen a trend in the way guys who are learning to beCocky and Funny and to stay in control change.
As they're learning the techniques, they become more andmore attractive to women. Then, they meet a really amazingwoman - a woman that was previously "out of their league",and they decide to start a relationship.
As soon as they start getting closer, the guy begins toput aside the things that worked, and start being moreand more submissive... which, of course, drives this newwoman away.
Then I get an email saying "I want to be nice and sweetand a good guy but still have all the super hot womencalling me 24/7".
Here's what I say:
"BEING YOURSELF" IS A PRIVELEGE THAT YOU HAVE TO EARN,NOT A RIGHT.
And the way that you earn it is to learn what it takesto make women feel ATTRACTION, learn what it takes toNOT drive women away, then make these things part of"YOURSELF".
Are you with me here?
The problem is that "being yourself" for a lot of guysmeans "being the type of guy that women don't feel anyATTRACTION for".
If you can't make a woman feel the emotion of ATTRACTION,then there's really nothing I can do to help you. Ifyou're not willing to do the work and make the changesmore or less permanent, then you're going to have a longuphill battle.
And in your case, you have to realize that this womanwas attracted to you for a REASON, and if you stop thatREASON, then you're going to stop the ATTRACTION.
***QUESTION***
Whats goin on Dave?
I would love to say how great your stuff works, but I haven't had much luck with it as of yet. I have seen it put to good use though. My bro does the whole cocky/funny routine naturally and I see all its power. Most of the time I was Mr. Nice-Guy. and, of course, it didn't work as much as I would like. Which is why I'm writing this e-mail.(duh)
My problem is I'm missing the key ingredient to your 'super recipe,' funny. The way I see it, cocky is like garlic, by itself it is repulsive and disgusting. But when used as a seasoning to another main dish (funny), it can do wonders. I'm missing the main dish. Anyone can be cocky, but I lack in the funny department. So where do I start to fix this? Thanks, P in NJ >>>MY COMMENTS:
Humor has a structure, and it can be learned. Some peoplehave an easier time learning how to be funny than others,but I've seen some not-too-funny people become VERY funnywith practice.
Read some books, watch Comedy Central, and practice. Starta journal and write down funny lines you hear so you canuse them later.
Get with your Bro and watch him. Ask him for advice andideas. Practice. You can learn how to be funny, and it'simportant that you do if you want to attract women!
As I'm sure you know, my book has some of my very favorite"standard" lines for different situations, plus more onhow to create specific humor for specific situations. Go to:http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/ for all the details.
***COMMENT***
Dave,
I know that you put real stories in these letters because I sent one in and it appeared exactly as I had written it. I laughed till I cried over the "fat, pimply, and hairy" story.
You are "Da man" I look forward to your wit in these letters and I must admit I'm going to buy your book. GJ
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, all of the email letters I print in my newsletters areALL real. Every single one of them. I wish I had more timein the day, because I get hundreds of them a week...
Thanks for the compliments, and enjoy.
***QUESTION***
Ok David, first off, I would like to say thank you fortaking the years that you did to get all of this great info., and then be generous enough to spread the knowledge. Here is my situation. I knew this girl back in high school, and I haven't seen her since graduation (about 2 yrs ago). I bumped into her the other day and WOW (she is a 9.5 easy). Well, having not yet tried out any of your techniques, I thought "What the hell, let's go for it." It worked. The c/f technique was golden. Got her email AND number. Well, we eventually went out and had a great time. A couple of days later, I went over to see her new place, and well, things got a little wild. (it all started with your amazing kiss technique- thanks again) So here's the deal. She likes me a lot, and I like her a lot, but I have been playing back in order to keep the ugly head of the "wussy" out of the picture. When is a good time (or is there a good time at all) to be serious with her? Do I bust on her all the time, b/c I don't want her to think I am a jerk? Any help you can give is great.
Thanks again. ME
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I don't exactly know what you mean by "serious".
If you mean "When can I talk about how I'm sad becausemy dog got run over and my inner child needs a hug", thenNEVER is the answer.
Well, maybe you can have one "serious" conversation likethis on the 10th date, and it can last no longer than 5minutes.
Just stay away from heavy emotional issues, problems,drama, and general WUSS topics.
If you need a friend, GET A DOG!
lol... I forgot where that line is from, but I love it.
***QUESTION***
Mr. DeAngelo,
Well, I've got to say, after trying many, many different methods, yours have been the first ones to work. I cut and pasted your online personal add and sent it out to a few women on a college-oriented site. This is after trying (unsuccessfully) for many months to get any sort of response from the women on the site. Before reading the newsletters, I would've typically sent out about 20 e-mails, and got 1 response if I was lucky. This time, however, I sent out about 5 or 6, and got 3 replies the next day! Unbelievable! Now, for the tricky part...getting the number and the date. I've got some leads, and I want to keep my C&F attitude up. I'm just normally funny, but need practice at being cocky. (I'm either too subtle, or too extreme, so I'm practicing at finding a middle ground.) But, in the meantime, what kind of C&F response would you give to a University-aged woman?
G. >>>MY COMMENTS:
Good job.
There are all kinds of great topics you could work with.
You could make fun of the classes they're taking, bust onthem for taking easy classes, accuse them of taking 10years to get a 4 year degree... the list is endless.
Since you're going to be meeting these women at somepoint, make sure you go and do things with them that have"built in conversation value". Go to interesting, funparts of town with unusual and interesting shops.
This kind of thing creates all kinds of opportunityfor great comments... and it keeps the energy up all byitself.
Now that you're meeting women online, do yourself abig favor and practice your skills CHATTING with women.
Chatting is great because it slows the conversation downto about 1/5 the normal speed, and gives you time to planout what you're saying.
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave, I'm real sorry but I still cannot figure out how to build bridges after getting the email address. Normally the next day I send the lady an email, she replies and then I can't think what on earth else to do. My overall goal is to get with her - so can you help me man? I.M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I think I can help.
1. Set up a meeting for tea.2. Have her stop by your place on the way to tea.3. Have fun, interesting conversation.4. Invite her back to your place.5. Use the Kiss Test.6. Use your creativity and imagination.
Don't focus too much on "getting with her", just focus ongetting to THE NEXT STEP.
In other words, when you email don't say something like:
"Hi, it was great meeting you. I'm single and nice, andyou seem like you'd make a great girlfriend for a sweet,desperate loser like myself."
Stay off of heavy conversation. Don't talk aboutrelationships and marriage, etc. Just talk and enjoyyourself. But keep progressing as you do.
As long as you relax and make each progressive stepeasy and natural, you'll be fine.
Again, just take it one step at a time.
***QUESTION***
Hi David:
I'm 42 and a bald, average, confident guy. After being recently divorced (Dec/01) after 24 yrs and thoroughly confused about dating and what women want. I bought[another dating book] and was even more scared to do any of what was asked to do. I bought your course and coupled with watching the players in clubs I knew C&F was the answer. I used it successfully on over (9) women since Jan/02 all resulting in them wanting much, much more* than I was willing to give. They all call from time-to-time for fun!.
*Here is where I have the problem and it might help others trying for this type of relationship. I am single and love my Space and I want to have fun for a while and eventually marry again I'm looking for Her and it takes a while to see if she is Her I get them hooked way too fast and not trying to do so This is how: Women are attracted to C&F, They want fun and excitement; I think I know why they want funny for the fun things to do in life (too many boring guys out there) and the cocky part piques their inner flames to what could happen as far as passion. If when you are passionate with them you have to be a Leader and show them as bad a boy as they can handle. This has in all instances so far lead them to call me and pursue me: the next day and weeks ahead. They want a far deeper relationship. They want C&F in their lives. These are not clingy people (7-9's)(24-44yrs) and profess to want to be friends first. Email is great as it has a way of helping them say things they wished they could say in person. Do you have any wisdom on how to do C&F and not hit all of her senses?
Thanks Again for C&FJ.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol... you poor, poor dear. Sounds tough, really.
I think you're doing fine. You're on the right track, andI think that you're going to find an outstanding woman tohave a longer-term relationship with.
I personally think that the problem isn't the techniquesyou're using, it's that you're now seeing that YOU CANCHOOSE A WOMAN, rather than having HER CHOOSE YOU... andit's making you far more SELECTIVE than you were in thepast.
When you're seeing several attractive women at the sametime, you begin to realize that you can have whateveryou want. You no longer have to settle.
This has the effect of making you a lot more picky aboutwhat you'll tolerate... and it makes you see negativesa lot more clearly in women.
Again, I think you're doing fine. Just stick with itand you'll find a great woman to marry again, if that'swhat you want.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave.I don't think the cocky/funny technique will work for me. I'm 19 y/o, 5' 3" and 117 lb. I have an average build, dark hair and blue eyes. I also have a fetish for girls with big bellies. What do you think? Be honest.
SO
Birmingham, England
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, if I can get myself to stop laughing, maybe I cananswer you!
OK, let's make sure I have the facts straight here...
You're five foot three, weigh 117, and LIKE WOMEN WITHBIG BELLIES?
Honestly, I think you're right... I don't think that theCocky and Funny technique will work for you... in fact
...I DON'T THINK ANYTHING IS GOING TO WORK FOR YOU.
Make sure you don't tell any of your other guy friendsabout this. It might get ugly.
By the way, you may not have considered this, but womenwith big bellies usually got them from eating a lot...and my guess is that they might be expensive dates.
Watch out.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave:
Dated someone for 4 years. Turned into a wussy boy a couple times, and both times she left me for the same guy. This guy was a selfish, conceited jerk, but he was the ONLY guy she's ever dated who she couldn't wrap around her finger. He was an impossible challenge...and so her sexual attraction to him was enormous. (Hmmm...is there a lesson to be learned here...?) Since we broke up about a year ago, I've been reading your newsletters and your ebooks. Now I'M the challenging one. I don't flatter women with compliments, I don't buy drinks or flowers, I split the dinner tab, I don't always call (or call back) every day, I keep my social life busy and interesting. And I never ever EVER lose my composure with a woman - no matter how much I'm attracted to them. (In truth: I caved to one woman, told her how attracted I was to her, and instantly found myself in the "just friends" pit of no return. Oops. Had to learn the hard way.) Now every time a woman tries to test my level of "wussiness" I completely annihilate them with a cocky+funny comment...and they LOVE me for it. And...of course...guess who suddenly wants to date me again...
Thanks D, M.S. Chicago
P.S. Took this off the end of the 1st paragraph above...it was getting too long, but I love this perspective from a woman: While investigating this illogical phenomenon, I asked a somewhat-attractive female friend of mine "so...can you shed any light onto the whole 'why women are attracted to jerks' idea?" And her answer (quote): "Because we're too leary of a nice guy. Nice guys creep me out. They seem like I can walk all over them and I hate that. Women want a bit of a challenge."
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is truth from the mountain. Read it 100 times a day.
Print it and tape it to your computer monitor.
Put a copy in your wallet... next to the money so you seeit often.
Put one on your car sun visor and mirror.
And go read it again now.
***QUESTION***
Dave:I downloaded your book a couple months ago, and read your newsletters regularly. I have had success with women and it's great. Here's my question. It's a common fact that humans never stop learning, and you are no exception. What new information have you learned recently that can supplement the book? Can your subscribers expect a follow-up booklet in the near future? I don't mean to be ungrateful but now that I have read your book I feel like the most well-informed man in the dating game. Knowledge is power and the more I have the more power I have. Watch out ladies!!! Can you help me out? I know you have the knowledge thanks a lot G- Texas
>MY COMMENTS:
***QUESTION***
Yes Dave, you are 100% correct. Even us older, fatter, grayer, slower wusses can learn new tricks. I went from a 4 time loser to being called biggest old stud in town! Now that was a hell of an ego boost! Especially since I'm 48 and close to 300 lbs. and yes, at the moment, I have steady dates for 3 days of the week every week and 5 others professing their love for me if only I will come take them away.
Here are what I found to work:
1) Women over 35 expect you to be extremely inventive with a cocky funny line or extremely truthful. They all claim it is because they have had so many used on them, they are totally immune to them. I tend to go the extremely truthful route. the ie. you look like the type of woman who would like a funny witty, intelligent, romantic friend. Have you found any lately??? I want to shake their hand. Or something similar.
2) If you are emailing back and forth and they want your picture within the first couple of exchanges, run do not walk, that lady to the discard pile immediately. Most of those are so shallow they can not and will not see what they are doing, no matter how funny and blunt you are. I even tried the "what's in it for me?" line, only to get the reply of "me stupid, but only if I like your picture"
3) When the lady says I don't think I'm really your type, you look them straight in the eye and say "ok, plenty more where you came from" and turn and walk away. 9 out of 10 of them will be calling you in 48 hours.
4) They all know about arranging dates for the week and finding the dates on the weekend. So tell them you only have like Friday, Saturday OR Sunday open but not all. Most will tell you to rearrange your week to fit them in. The ones really really interested will call you on Saturday to see if you can go out on the spur of the moment.
5) I tell them all I am too much to handle and too much to love, so being friends is just perfect. But I have zero experience in this dating more than one woman thing at a time. Do you have any advice. Especially since I am sure to make a lot of mistakes. Yeah, they all want to arrange more time with me.
So you see, your techniques work. Even my 21 y/o daughter who reads these occasionally says, "I can't agree all the way, but damn he sure got the last 5 guys I dated nailed"
Keep up the good work Dave.
M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, more priceless wisdom.
To answer your question, the way to see more than onewoman at a time is to NOT SEE ANY OF THEM TOO OFTEN.
When you see or talk to a woman more than once or twicea week, it kicks in the natural "relationship" emotionsand patterns of communication and behavior.
If you keep things to once a week, and sometimes twice,you'll tend to avoid this.
It's also good to tell the women that you're seeing thatyou don't think it's a good idea to get into a relationshiptoo quickly with someone you just met (I believe this isa very important idea, myself).
Thanks for the great ideas.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your book...very enlightening. I've always found myself attracting girls I'm not romantically interested in, while crashing and burning with the hotties. It was very confusing until I read your book. I realize now that I was a wuss with the hotties by being a typical "nice guy", and that the more I acted indifferent with the girls I didn't like, the more they ate it up. You gave me a new perspective on what makes attraction work, and I'm glad to see that your book pointed out that you don't have to be a jerk to be successful. My game has improved but it still requires some refining. Lately I find I'm stalling out between the first and second date. So I'm wondering if I'm screwing up the date itself or the follow-through. Here are the steps I take after a date:
1) I call within two days to say I had a good time and basically make contact. I end the conversation first, and let her know I'll give her a shout in a couple days...just so I don't seem like I'm rushing into a second date.
2) I let two or three days pass and call to make arrangements for a second date. At this point I usually get a vague answer like "lets set something up for next week"...and then it never happens. Where is this falling apart and what kind of follow-through do you use? Thanks for the help, SF London, Ontario
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm going to have to guess at a few things, but I'll giveit a shot.
From the sounds of it, you need to:
1) Stop with the "I had a good time" type comments whenyou call for a follow up. You might experiment withwaiting longer to call... or waiting less time to call.See what works best for you. But don't be so "nice".
2) Do more things to make your date feel ATTRACTION. Usewhat you've learned to really turn the dial up. You mighttest progressing further on the first date... maybe startgetting physical faster.
3) Make sure you keep her laughing, and keep busting onher and treating her like a "friend" at first. Rememberthe idea of acting like she's your Bratty Little Sister.
It sounds like you're doing something on those firstdates that's making the women resistant to seeing youagain... you need to figure out what it is and STOP IT.
***QUESTION***
David,
On vacation in Mexico, a girl asked me if she was "super hot" and I said "Yeah, you're alright." Next thing you know she made it her business to prove to me how hot she was, including some freaky dancing, even flashing me, and a little lip action. Moral: Never give them what the want. I moved in to kiss a girl a little too early and she backed away. So I went back to teasing her and on the next attempt I went straight for the neck, ears, hands in hair and well you wouldn't believe it; but it worked that time. Your book has a lot of very good information, thank you for putting ittogether. So here's my question: This girl at my gym is of those that I've always wanted to talk to but never really had the chance. She was bartending the other night and I told her I'd seen her at the gym. She said "yeah, but I don't make it in there as much lately." I replied "Yeah, I can tell, you're really letting yourself go." Then she gives me a shot and asks me if I'd help her with her workout." She also said she remembered me from the gym and I said "So you were checking me out?" So I get her number, not bad, eh? So I'm in the bar for another hour with some friends and I was going to order a drink from her later, but it might've seemed like I wanted to talk to her again. She seemed busy and didn't look at me. Seemingly wuss behavior or she's just busy? Who knows. That was on Saturday and I called her on Wednesday, still no reply and today is Friday. I'm thinking either calling her once more over the weekend, asking about playing hard to get and if she just randomly gives out shots, or maybe going back to her bar in a week or two with some friends. Again, thank you for all you've done and thanks in advance for any suggestions. A. >>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm going to tell you something here, and leave it to youto figure out why it's important:
YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT HER NUMBER.
This is SUPER ULTRA EXTRA important... and I want you toconsider it in your mind until you figure out why.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I got your e-mails for about a month before i actually bought the books and I regret waiting so long. I have never been so confident around women. I stand as a security guard at the entrance of a retail store and 8's, 9's, and some 10'spass by me everyday. I used to turn my head and stare away. Now I know what they want from reading your book and I can look at them, talk to them, and bust their balls even withoutever meeting them. I do have a problem though. I took this beautiful girl out on a first date, the C&F technique worked so well all night from the movie to the dinner to the goodnight kiss (tongue included) that we both definitely wanted a 2nd date. So what's the problem. She can't stop thinking about me or leaving me alone. I'm getting 10 text messages a day from this girl that I really only want to date a few times. I'm enjoying this bein single dating around and she wants me to be with her everyday. How can I slow this down, without losing the C&F personality?
Thanks Dave. MMKentucky
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, another guy who my heart goes out to.
I need to write a book called "Cut Your Dating In Half: Aguide for guys who are too successful with my materials."
I think what you need to do is get together with her andsay: "Look, you're acting like we're married, and you needto cool it. I think you're great, but I'm not interestedin a relationship right now, so if you want to keep seeingme, then you're going to need to chill."
I realize that it sounds a little bit harsh, but it's thetruth, and you need to be direct in a situation like thisone.
...and this about wraps it up.
If you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself:"I'd sure like to have problems like that", then I'drecommend that you go and download a copy of my onlineeBook "Double Your Dating". You can download it directlyto your computer and be reading in a few minutes. Go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...to download it now.
And I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) I love emails from women!
6) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
MAILBAG: AMAZING SPECIFIC DIALOGUE EXAMPLESTHE MAILBAG: Amazing Specific Examples Of What To Say ToWomen... Cocky and Funny For Many Situations
This is a world-record Mailbag. The longest (and maybe thebest) one ever. Enjoy!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
You are the Man! It took me about a month of reading and re-reading your book. I am (was) very shy. I reallythink it was more a lack of self confidence than shy. I think I was using the word shy because I didn't want to admit or didn't understand that it was a lack of self confidence. I set a target date of when I was going to let my inhibitions go and put my (your) plan to work. I got more email addresses and phone numbers in 3 hours than I got in 3 years. Just felt compelled to write and say Thanks. Hope to see you in NY E.M. in Va.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I love letters like this one. Good for you!
It sounds to me like the process of getting this area ofyour life handled has you pretty excited. Let it spill overinto the other areas of your life.
Great job!
***COMMENT FROM WOMAN***
Dear David,
Remember the woman that had a friend that wanted to slapthe sh** out of you - you know, the crack pipe chick? That woman was right about one thing - someone needs to get slapped.
She does and so do all of her milk toast, clueless and probably dog-ugly friends! How in the world did she get "lesbian" twisted into all of that? I read the e-mail forcrying out loud, and it sounds to me like this girl's in aslump that makes the Devil Rays look like World Series contenders.
Injure a woman's delicate psyche? Give me a break. I hope you guys out there don't believe a word of this girl's whiny crap. If your girlfriends agree with her, I hope you don't mind turning squishy and you better find a good recipe for strawberry daiquiris and start planning for a life filled with tupperware parties and purse shopping.
Let me set all of you guys straight who might still possibly be on the fence at this point. Get David's book. I haven't read it yet - I'm still crackin' up over the newsletter. I'm an attractive woman architect who works in a man's world and would have it no other way! I'm athletic, but still feminine. I'm pretty conservative and don't cuss (anymore) so I'm proof that it's not just the rough women that get turned on by the sport of a challenging male. David's right - I have a lot of male friends and most of them want to be more than friends. I could never put my finger on it before I started reading David's newsletters - they were nice and I've certainly dated guys that weren't nearly as good looking as them, but it's clear to me now. My guy friends are wusses. Cocky + funny = SEXY! Don't ask me why, just do it. I wish more of you would. By the way, David, the chicks out here that read (and appreciate) your newsletter, need a formula, too. Sincerely,
ks in Kansas City
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE YOURPHONE NUMBER?
I was just thinking to myself:
"You know, it sure would be great to meet an athletic,feminine woman with a good job... maybe an architect orsomething."
I don't know about the conservative, no cussing thing...maybe I could adapt.
But to my credit, I'm NOT squishy, I have NO IDEA how tomake a strawberry daiquiri, and I hate purse shopping. Ido, however like to host an occasional tupperware party.
Think about it and get back to me.
Oh, back to your comments...
Thank you for writing in and providing another perspective.I wish that more women would be as open and honest aboutwhat attracts them.
I personally think that women like you who have theirlives together are too busy ENJOYING life to take the timeout to teach the mass of WUSS-BAG men out there how tostop with the purse shopping and tupperware.
Thanks again for your email... I love sharp, honest women.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
Hey, I've been receiving your emails for awhile, and have been thinking, does this stuff work on guys as well? I'm an attractive 18 yr old, and I don't often have problems attracting males attention, but that's about it. I don't often get approached in clubs/bars, just looked at from afar. Do guys think woman are promiscuous etc if they make the first move? I mean does that kind of confidence in a woman scare men off? A little help would be most appreciated! Ta! JDNew Zealand >>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, now I've got attractive 18 year old women who aretrying to figure out how to get men to talk to them.
IS ANYONE OUT THERE LISTENING?
I've actually met MANY women who say that they eitheraren't approached often, or when they are it's the sameold lame, boring stuff time after time...
"Can I take you out sometime?"
"So you probably have a boyfriend, right?"
Or guys just watch with the "I wish I wasn't such atotal and complete WUSSY because you're very attractiveand I'd give one of my front teeth in exchange for justone chance to talk to you" look.
Ugh.
In any event, YES, this stuff works on guys. In fact, itworks on just about everyone. Damn shame you even needto ask.
***QUESTION***
Hi David!
I just broke with my wife of six years. So I¢¥m starting the game again. I went to a club this past weekend and saw a very nice looking girl. She was looking at me a lot. So I waited around ten minutes and then approach and asked her, "Are you shy or something?" She said, Why? And I told her "Because I've been standing here for around ten minutes and you still haven't said hi to me." As you can imagine she burst laughing. So I said, Hey, I'm glad you know how to laugh. She said, So, is this the way you go out meeting girls. I said, Nah, it's that every time I go to some place that have girls present they all seem to get very shy around me, since I'm such a great looking, sexy man, AS you can see. (Said with a wink). She kind of blush and smile. We talk for around ten minutes and I then said, Well, let me see if I can find my friends around here, It was a pleasure talking to you. When I was leaving I did your e-mail close and it ran smoothly. She put her phone number too and a note that said, "No, I'm not shy, call me soon, C." E.Q. From Puerto Rico PS. In your last mailbag there was a guy who used the c&f routine with his ex wife as practice and it worked to get her interested in him again. I was wondering what stuff he told her and how he did it. I'm very interested to know his technique to see if I can get my ex wife interested in me again.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, I LOVE the story. That's pure gold.
If you're reading this right now and you want a KILLERexample of Cocky and Funny, read this about 25 times.
As for your ex, I don't know what the specifics were,but I will tell you this much:
After you've been in a relationship with someone andacted like a WUSSY for many years, it makes a HUGEimpression when you stop it and start busting balls.
You know the formula, now think up some techniques.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave, You're going to luv this one....bought your book and like a kid in a candy store was eager to prove it out.... I'm on this date with a 9/10 who selected this outside Italian Cafe and insisted that it was her turn to pay. Well, I started busted on her from the time i sat down. I enjoyed myself immensely as i had NO expectations and therefore could not be disappointed. I slipped my AMEX card to the waiter without her noticing and when the eqchay comes, she looks at me and says: It was my turn to pay....if you don't let me pay ...I'm not going out with you anymore(serious look). My response: (serious look back) If i let you pay what do i get in return? Her Response: We're going back to your car and I'm going to give you a BJ like you've never had and you don't even have to worry about making a mess cause i swallow. My Response:( in my mind...holy sh** this stuff really works...well lets turn it up a little..i'm enjoying this..i'm a natural teaser) No, lets be friends first...(inside hahaha ...I could tell i was messing her up real good) Her Response: Nothing(i believe she was in shock) My response:Now If you say please, i'll let you pay.....Her Response: Please...Please... (so i let her pay) Next Day: I receive an email from her saying that she likes me even more than ever before. Talk about amplifying the attraction and anticipation.....I'll do her when i decide....hehehe...for now we're friends.....
Thanks Good Buddy K
Toronto, Canada
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I'd say that you're starting to get it.
If you keep this up, you're going to have this poorwoman camping outside your door!
It's all about amplifying the attraction and theanticipation, and I'm glad you understand what the heckthat means.
This is another stellar example of Cocky and Funny inaction... combined with some other more advancedtechniques. Nice.
***QUESTION***
Dave- Your material does a great job bringing to the masses what are innate qualities in thenaturally-successful-with-women types. Your book is almost a study of human behavior, like something Dale Carnegie would write (I doubt he was as successful with women though). Anyway, I have a problem with one half of the magic formula, the 'cocky' part. I've always had success with deadpan-style humor, with no facial expression whatsoever, and most of the time people can't tell if I'm being funny or not based on my expression. This is where I hit my problem: if I make a cocky/funny type comment, I'm afraid I'll come off as arrogant if I don't give a smile or something. But in your book it says something along the lines of things being funnier if it's difficult to tell if you're joking. So my question is: Is it okay to smile while being cocky and funny and busting on girls? Or should I keep a straight face all the time? I'm not sure if this email makes any sense, but I think you'll be able to figure it out. Great stuff, and hurry up with the next book! BW
Seattle
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Here's the deal... when you're being Cocky and Funny,you must give up your fear of coming across as overlyarrogant. The secret lies within the FUNNY ingredientof the formula.
A great model for Cocky and Funny is Triumph the InsultComic Dog. If you haven't seen him, go search online andfind his Star Wars video clip. You'll laugh until youcry...
Then, go find the Bon Jovi clip. Another masterpiece.
You'll notice that Triumph is RUTHLESS with the sarcasticcomments... but THEY'RE ALL FUNNY.
And when he feels like he may have gone over the top, hemight throw in an "I kid, I kid". It's rare, but he doesdo it on occasion.
If you feel like your comment might have been taken tooseriously, try a "sly smile". It's a combination ofsquinting your eyes a little, pursing your lips, anddoing a slight half-mouthed smile. It's a nice touch.
In any event, you need to get over your fears, and getout there and do it! You'll find the balance.
***QUESTION***
David:
I have been using the techniques like C&F and have had a huge success. Honest to God, i now have several girls on the ropes, and i have the luxury of choosing my choice. It is wonderful. You are a genius. (i figured your ego needed a little boost)
Now i have a situation on my hands. There is a new girl at my workplace, who is very attractive and funny. We getalong great. The other day i told her about a concert that i am going to and she begged me, not just begged but pleaded with me to get her a ticket. Then within the next 5 minutes she was asking me for my number and email address. That is right asking me. I made a smart remark along the lines of "I've only been training you for 3 days and you are already hitting on me, damn that has to be a new record...(dramatic pause) Most girls only take a couple of minutes to see my un-resistable charm." I realize it isn't the greatest line ever but it worked. She was all over it. And retorted with "I always was the stubborn one." So now she is emailing me, and calling me and always talking to me and flirting with me at work. So far so good, here is where the problem kicks in. The other night i am walking out from work and locking the building and she looks over rolls her eyes, and sighs that her boyfriend is here to pick her up. the next day she came to work and was telling me that she and her boyfriend are going to be breaking up soon and she doesn't know when. What do i do? I mean to me all the signs are there, how do i field this one? Do i even DARE field this one? HELP
n.s ND
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, two rules of thumb:
1. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
2. Avoid women who are involved.
Why? Because it's usually just plain short-sighted to dothese things.
Some boyfriends are jealous and crazy, and if a workplaceromance goes bad (which they usually do), then it cancreate all kinds of weird vibes. Trust me.
I have to comment, though... you're technique and flirtingis FANTASTIC. You're really onto something with this lineof humor. I love it.
***QUESTION***
I may be a little skeptical, but I am 37 yrs old and have been divorced for 7 yrs. Although I have been told many times that I am an attractive guy I have had one date in the last 3 years, and I think it is because I am also overweight. I am 6'1" and weigh around 340 lbs. I am convinced that women these days are not attracted to big guys like myself. I am also one of those "nice guys". Do you really think that this cocky funny attitude that I have been reading about would really work for a guy like me? I am willing to try anything at this point
D.E. Scranton (Pa.)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I think it would DEFINITELY work for you. In fact,I think it will work for anyone who applies themselvesand figures it out.
We each have our own particular situation in life. Notwo are the same.
Some guys are rich and look like Brad Pitt, some guysare older and gray, some are overweight, some are bald,and some are inexperienced.
We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and particularchallenges in life.
This is one of the great things about being alive. We geta particular hand dealt to us, and it's one of the greatjoys in life to figure out how to best play it.
Honestly, from the way you explained yourself, I think thatyou're unhappy with your weight. In other words, it soundsto me like you've got MENTAL limitations and self-imageissues... so simple techniques alone probably aren't goingto solve your whole problem.
I'll bet that if you start working on your weight, while atthe SAME TIME practicing the techniques you've learned herewith women, the COMBINATION will yield better results.
When you improve two or more areas of your life at the sametime, you'll find that you often have far better than justtwice the results. But try to solve problems at the root,and not just at the branch level alone.
***SUCCESS STORY*** Hey Dave,
Wanted to let you know a technique I've come up with that combines two points you've made in the past:
1) You can create attraction with contrast (e.g. busting on her verbally while your actions are gentlemanly) 2) Don't dip your pen in the company ink
So I use the hotties at work as target practice, honing my game. BUT - I tone it down a bit and always do really nice things for them, like if they need someone to carry a box or open a drawer. So now they think I'm kind of attractive, but also a bit of a wuss boy: not attractive enough for THEM to date (keeping me out of trouble at work), but PERFECT for a friend of theirs. Hotties hang with hotties, and so far I've been set up with three fiiiiiine young ladies this way (note: it helps to work for a big company so you have a good selection and distance between parties). Now, the friend has heard that I'm a nice guy, so she's a little leery going into it - then WHAM! I bust out as the Full Jedi Master. Once again, contrast added to c+f. (As one said, "I heard you were kind of cute, but she didn't tell me how hot you really are!" For the record, I'm slightly above average.) So far I'm 3-for-3 scoring major action on date one. I'm keeping it cool, because there is the 2nd-hand work connection, so it can be a little tricky, but that's part of the fun. I let NO ONE get too close too soon, and things continue hot 'n' heavy at MY pace, and everyone's happy. I don't know if this will work for everyone, but it's sure worked for me. You rock!!!
M.B.Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great points.
Attractive women know other attractive women.
And practicing on women at work is great! You can alsopractice on waitresses that work at restaurants youfrequent, hostesses/receptionists at places you gooften, etc.
Women LOVE to have fun, chemically-charged interactionswith men... even if it's not leading to anything. So dopractice whenever you can.
***QUESTION***
Okay....i bought the book, i read it and re-read it and re-read it. I had always been funny but a lot had been self-deprecating or witticisms that were hysterical but required women to think and make the leap from A to B. So, based on your book, I changed my ways. I added "C" to my "F". Now, I'm a Lindy Hop Swing dancer. I dance at the clubs 4 times a week. go to workshops. I own instructional tapes. I listen to swing music constantly. I even dream I'm dancing sometimes. So, when I go to a club i'm not just going to meet women but also because i love dancing Lindy Hop. IT WORKS!!!
Before I ask my question, here's my success story. After reading all the e-mails over and over and the book over and over, i made it a point to be C&F even when i'm not interested. One girl I asked to dance at a club said she had to leave but "do you come here often?" she asked. I told her that we only knew each other for a few minutes and ALREADY she was trying to pick me up. I didn't mind, i said, but she should use a more original line. Another girl I danced with messed up as she was dancing and her hand touched my ass by mistake. I spent the rest of the dance accusing her of trying to grab my ass because she liked it. (her e-mail i got but i messed up the next bridge). But the clincher in my mind that C&F works is this: I take a 3-hour dance class once a week and it usually has the same people. One is this cute 19-year old. She's not my type and i'm not interested, but i still employ C&F whenever i see her, for practice. Well, this week out of the blue she says "I was talking to [Bob] about you the other day." Oh yeah? what did you say? i ask "I told him I like you because you're a smart-ass." My jaw practically dropped. I maintained composure while on the inside i was screaming "HOLY SH**!! THIS STUFF WORKS". "smart-ass" was obviously "C&F". So, thank you and i plan to continue using this. MY QUESTION!! So, here's the thing. Dancing this much is a blessing and a curse. A lot of women want to dance with me, but they ONLY want to dance (i've gotten quite good). Plus, i'm into the dancing so i'll dance with several different women a night, and most likely each women multiple times. How do I use C&F in these situations when A) Unless it's a slow song, you don't really have the opp to talk DURING the dance B) If I get an e-mail/number, i'm still gonna be at the club the rest of the night. Do I ask her to dance again? or do i ignore her? What if she asks ME to dance again? C) If I ignore her, i'm gonna see her as i walk around looking for dance partners throughout the night, do i say anything as we pass by? do i even smile at her? D) Can I use C&F on multiple women throughout the night and get more than one e-mail or is that a bad idea? If dancing were a means to an end for me, it might be easier, but i'm really into this. My job is just a means for me to be able to go dancing (that's how into it i am). I know that I've got a potential gold mine at my feet since I dance. I've heard that "if you can dance you can get any woman you want." Well, I couldn't, but i'm only now starting to see how i can thanks to C&F. But it's only a beginning. Please help!! By the way, i'll see you at your next LA seminar!!!
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You've gone over your one question limit, but I'm going togive you a great idea anyway.
First off, making jokes about a woman trying to pick youup, not being that easy, being offended that she used sucha cheap line, etc. is GREAT stuff.
Here's the idea:
If I were you, I'd learn how to be Cocky and Funny WITHOUTSAYING A WORD. If you're a great dancer, then I'm SURE youcan come up with 100 ways.
Maybe you could notice mistakes that a girl is making, thenimitate them over and over while keeping a look on yourface of "Look at how cool I am".
Maybe you could incorporate some bizarre dance steps intoa dance, then insinuate that she's dancing that way.
One thing I like to do is MIRROR a woman, then EXAGGERATEsome part of what she's doing.
If she has good posture, I might sit up EXTRA straightand say "You're slumping".
Cocky and Funny isn't just a verbal thing.
Ohhh... now I'm letting the cat out of the bag.
By the way, if you're reading this right now and you'vegot some good examples of non-verbal Cocky and Funny,write me an email. Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Your insight into women and how to attract them is dead-on. Being cocky and funny works. Upon adopting your approach, my dating life improved dramatically: I went from dating one woman last year to dating 10 women in three months at the beginning of this year.
While dating is fun, like most guys, I eventually find one that I like and want to pursue it further, i.e. become more serious. The problem I've discovered is that a lot of women in the age group I date (27-33) are resistant to this due to the residual pain they carry with them (the proverbial "baggage") from previous failed relationships or marriages. Rather than take a risk by pursuing a relationship, they prevent it from progressing any further to avoid any emotional pain that might result if it fails.
Is this a common problem men my age (late '20s, early '30s) experience (and should continue to expect to experience in the dating world), or am I just being a wuss and need to get over it by dating younger women with less baggage? Is there a way to employ the C&F routine to MAKE these women overcome their indecision and want to be with you?
LOL,
B
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, as much as I avoid "Relationship" questions, I justhave to comment on this one.
First of all, I believe that MOST guys would prefer to bein a relationship with a great women (over being single).
The problem is that amazing women are as rare as amazingmen...
If you REALLY want to make a women become attached to you,then you might want to try a paradoxical move...
Stop looking for a relationship.
If you communicate that you want a relationship, the naturalresponse is going to be for a woman to play Hard To Get.
If YOU do the playing of the Hard To Get, and you HOLD OFFon showing the "relationship" level of interest, you'llfind that the woman will pursue the relationship with YOU.
Think about it.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I like your newsletter and I really enjoyed your books. I have one problem though. My sister, who is a socialite and seems to have a ton of really attractive friends, has this one friend. She's one of my sister's best friends and is my age. The woman is incredible...definitely a 9 or 10. She's got this really sweet personality, but also goofy at the same time. I know she's dated pretty boy models and NHL hockey players before, but I know she's not too superficial inside, since she broke things off with them after she was unhappy. So even though I'm probably a 6 or 7, I think I may have a shot, as I've heard she's recently single. Anyway, my problem is that I have absolutely nothing I can bust on her about. I don't know her well enough to rag on those Ex bfs or anything. Most of our conversations revolve around our mutual admiration for my cat....So any past encounters we've had have been in 'wuss' mode. What would be your approach to this situation?
Thanks,
C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Say what?
You have "absolutely nothing" you can bust on her about?
You really need to get a couple of books on comedy, myman.
What color hair does she have? If it's blonde, learn someblonde jokes... if it's brunette, learn some brunettejokes.
Is she tall? Bust on her height.
Is she short? Bust on her vertically challenged-ness.
And by the way, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A CAT?
Don't even get me started on the jokes you can make abouther being more interested in the pussy than in you. Icould write a book of lesbian jokes based on your one-paragraph email alone... and I've never even met thisgirl myself.
Are you starting to get the picture?
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I bought your book and I have been able to successfully use your method.
Last knight I picked up this girl at a lounge by accusing her of being a liar. I struck up a conversation and started doing the small talk thing (no wuss topics). I then ask her about her age, she leaned over and whispered in my ear that she was 20 years old. I heard her loud and clear. But when she turned her attention elsewhere I ask one of her friends that she was with(who was also very hot) If the girl I was speaking to was really 26 years old, (all at the same time giving of the impression that I wasn't really convinced) Surprised she turned to her friend saying "You told him you're 26?". I then of course accused lying so that she could have a better chance of hooking up with me. I then proceed to tell her how often girls do this to me and how she would have a much better chance with me by simply being herself. The boys at this point were cracking up. This was all done in good fun and in a FUNNY COCKY way, the girls knew I was joking but at the same time they were not 100% sure, this really played on their curiosity. My Question, Should I make eye contact with a girl before talking to her or should I just make her feel like she doesn't exist first and then proceed to hitting on her? Also is it bad to stand at the bar and check out the women? Does this make you seem needy? In other words what's the best way of working the room before I start to talk.
thanks. CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Another masterpiece of Cocky and Funny. This is great...I can feel more and more guys are getting it.
And about eye contact.
Eye contact is VERY powerful.
I recommend that if you make eye contact with a womanthat you keep it until SHE looks away. This is a greatexercise, by the way. Just go out and make eye contactwith as many women as you can... and keep it until theylook away.
If you're already talking to a woman, you're going tohave to work with the situation.
In some situations, you're going to want to be aloof,and in some you're going to want to be intense.
Just remember not to look away because you're nervousor afraid. Women can detect weakness very quickly, andthey turn off like a light switch when they do.
If you want to "check out women", just make sure youdon't look like a looser that has no life and isplanning to use the images you're taking in for futuresolo fantasy role play.
Don't look desperate.
Women are turned off by guys who have that "I'm notworthy" look... and they're turned ON by guys who havethat "You are interesting to me, but not so much so thatI'd give blood just to talk to you" look.
***QUESTION***
OK, Dave, what's wrong? Why won't you put my letters in your mailbag? I NEED HELP!!!! But, yet, you refuse to help me! Your stuff makes sense, yet it seems impossible to use. And so, I get all depressed because what you say makes me feel like a loser. I have zero confidence in myself and I can't make anyone laugh. I am 20 years old. I have never had a real girlfriend. I don't have any friends. My 5 guys I am forced to live with are not friends (but we get along fine). They all get girls, but won't help me. They all make me feel like a complete loser indirectly. Just like you do. Oh, using C&F is totally unnatural as hell for me, and I could never use it enough to be very successful. But, I also realize being the nice guy and buying stuff for women is also unnatural for me. I NEVER flirt. I NEVER compliment women for any reason whatsoever. I NEVER buy women gifts. I do, however, pay for women on dates (which I haven't been on any is 18 months). I can't make myself talk to girls unless I have a reason other than because I wanna date them. I can't ask women out on dates. I am convinced I will be rejected, so I don't even try. Even when I do talk to women, I can't make it move on to the next level. Women never even become my friends! They never move beyond acquaintance level. It just offends me VERY much that you won't even attempt to give ME personal advice!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm going to use my psychic powers to guess the correctspelling of your name.
Keep in mind, I don't even know your name, so gettingthe spelling correct could be considered to be basicallyimpossible.
Oh, I'm getting something...
W...
U...
S...
S...
Y...
Wow, what an unusual name. I don't recall ever meeting aguy with that name before.
Oh, wait a minute... maybe I HAVE met a guy or two withthat name.
Hey, in fact, I've met a LOT of guys with names likeyours.
OK, enough of the obvious. Let's talk action.
You really need to get over your victim mentality, man.Read some self-help books, do some visualization andaffirmation exercises... maybe go to a seminar or ten.
Before you're going to have ANY success with women,you're going to need to overcome your negative view ofreality and life.
Women HATE all of the qualities you're demonstratingright now. Qualities like:
-Negativity-Pessimism-Whiny-ness-Victim Minded
Get the picture?
I'm giving you some tough love here, but you sound likeyou really need it. Women (and people in general) don'twant to help those who whine and complain. Start workingon yourself, and keep going until you begin to findtechniques that make you feel more secure, stable andself-sufficient.
It's probably going to take a pretty big commitment, butI believe that anyone can get to the next level if theyreally want to.
***COMMENT***
Dear Dave: I've noticed a lot of emails lately (and I hear this from my friends all the time): "This stuff is great, and it attracts women, but when do you just get to be yourself?" You reply to these emails something like this: "Never. Make the C&F changes permanent." My contribution is an analogy that might help the guys who resist this advice see the error of your ways:
Let's say that you meet a beautiful, intelligent, and above all, SEXY woman. You start going out with her and loving it. Suddenly, though, as she gets comfortable with the relationship, she stops dressing sexy and wears only jogging outfits. She stops working and starts over-eating; soon she's fat. To top this off, she doesn't feel the need to "impress" you anymore and frankly talks about her health problems, etc. (her conversations begin to get annoying). She even farts and belches around you. The point of this is, the things that were attracting you to her all stopped as she got comfortable with the relationship. She feels so "comfortable" that she doesn't feel the need to exert any effort in keeping you attracted.
See the parallel? It's obvious to me, but let me explain for the benefit of the thick-headed: When you stop doing the things that attracted her to you, you are exactly like the hottie that lets herself go. The degree to which you "let yourself go" will determine whether or not she dumps you or starts cheating on you. Hope this helps.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, I think I'm going to hire all the guys who wrotein this week and just let them write these newslettersfrom now on.
What do you say?
Your analogy is great. I wish I would have said that.
***QUESTION
Dave, First, I have purchased your "double your dating" from your website. Your book and extra's have enriched my life. I had a beautiful woman sit down next to me on the train on my ride into work. I could feel she was interested but I was scared. I didn't want to make an obvious come on with so many people around. So I did nothing and missed an opportunity to meet an ultra beautiful woman. How can I prevent this from happening in the future? How can I discreetly approach a woman in this situation? I'm not interested in becoming comic entertainment for the morning rush crowd. G >>>MY COMMENTS:
Say what?
You didn't want to make an "obvious come on with otherpeople around"?
What, did you want to become her friend and shoppingbuddy, then two years later spring an "I love you" on her in the middle of the girdle aisle at Macy's?
Or did you miss the part where I said in Double YourDating not to hide the fact that you're interested?
You really need to get over this idea that making itobvious that you're not just interested in "friendship"isn't considered bad by women... and that if you tryto hide it, you're only shooting yourself in the foot.
And by the way, if you're "not in the mood" to make awoman laugh in front of the morning crowd, then what areyou going to do... charm her with your boring, un-funnycreativity?
Think about what you're asking me.
You need to get over what other people think, and getinto making things happen regardless of who's watchingor listening.
This alone is a trait that creates ATTRACTION.
Of course, if you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be "discreet"about it, you could hand her a note that says "I was goingto say some funny stuff, but I didn't want anyone to thinkthat I was picking up on you. If you couldn't tell, I'mkind of a Wuss, but don't let that stop you from callingme later."
In short, the way to prevent this in the future is to BEREADY for the situation. Plan out what you're going to doNEXT TIME, and be totally ready when it happens. If youmentally prepare for the 10 most common situations thatyou find yourself in, you'll DRAMATICALLY increase yoursuccess.
***QUESTION***
Hey dave I really enjoyed reading your e-book. It taughtme so much more than all your newsletters have. To every one reading this right now buy the book it's the best $40 I have ever spent I would even have paid up to $200 for it im serious. I went to the beach the next day after reading your book and used your techniques, but I am kind of shy but I figured out how to have women approach you... give up. Volley ball. It's so awesome the chicks will just approach you and ask to play, and you have an excuse not to wear a shirt show off your body and not make it look like your showing off. Me being only 5'2 with a muscular built. I will always say "I'm prejudice of the fact that your taller than me...but I can accept you for who you are" awesome line for all you short guys. I do have a question though I can't seem to figure out a cocky funny line if A girl tell you that you have a big/nice muscles. Also I can't come out with any thing to say while playing volley ball. Most of what I say comes off as arrogant. For example if she would miss I would say "what the hell was that" yes I know smooth lines. I would appreciate your help on this one I think other guys would to. I cant wait until your next book and seminar tapes come out. your friend CL - maine
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, very nice. Great thinking.
And if a woman says "You have nice muscles", just lookback at her with a serious face and say:
"You know, I'm really tired of you women treating melike some kind of piece of meat. I have feelings too,and I don't just like being thought of as a sex object."
I have a friend that uses this with amazing success.
Oh, and if there's anyone else out there who had purchasedmy book and found that it was worth $160.00 more than theypaid, feel free to contact me and I can arrange to acceptthe additional payment.
If you haven't yet gotten your copy of my online book"Double Your Dating" (yea, the one that everyone in thisnewsletter is talking about), then what the heck are youwaiting for? Go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and get it. My book is the result of about fiveyears of personal research, testing, and refinement. It'sjam packed with all of my very best techniques forattracting and dating the kinds of women you've alwayswanted. Check it out.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) I LOVE emails from women!
6) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.comDATING TIP: WHY WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO JERKSDATING TIP: Why Women Are Attracted To Jerks
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http://www.doubleyourdating.com
...and enter your email address.
>To REMOVE yourself or switch your email address, justclick the link at the very end of this message.------------------------------------------------------------
This week I want to talk more about what makes womenfeel "attracted" to men.
And if you've read my book, or have been tuned in tothis email newsletter, you know that I believe that thereis a big difference between what women SAY that they wantin a man, and what makes a woman feel that ELECTRIC GUTLEVEL ATTRACTION INSIDE for a man.
In other words, if you ask most women what they "want"in a man, they'll say "Oh, I want a nice, honest, thoughtfulguy who can communicate well..."
And the truth is, this IS what most women "want." Butremember, there's a BIG difference between what women "want"and what makes a woman feel ATTRACTION inside.
ATTRACTION is a mysterious thing, (as are all emotionsin my humble opinion). Pascal said "The heart has itsreasons, of which reason knows nothing."
What he was getting at here is that our emotionalsystems have developed over millions of years through acomplex process of evolution and selection... and thatthe emotions we feel are triggered by things that areusually not at all "logical."
As a quick example, let me ask you... what makes YOUfeel that INSTANT ATTRACTION for a woman? For most men it'sa certain look, a body part... maybe a voice tone or atouch.
Most of the single guys I know don't say "Hey, let's goout Friday night and look for some women with great morals,stable families, and good conversation skills."
If we humans were purely LOGICAL creatures, then wewouldn't care too much about looks. As a matter of fact, wemight even think things like "Well, she looks TOO good...she probably spends a lot of time tending to her looks,which means she won't be a very attentive partner andparent... I choose not to feel attracted to her."
And then we all woke up.
And back to reality... as you've probably heard morethan enough, men are attracted more to looks, and women areATTRACTED more to personality, style, and communication.
Sure, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are handsome in a waythat turns women on, but these guys aren't the RULE, they'rethe exception.
Men read Playboy, women read romance novels.
"Yes, but what about PlayGIRL?" you might ask.
I saw an interesting study once that found that most ofthe readers of Playgirl magazine are GAY MEN. Interesting?
The fact is that women's attention is captured by romancenovels because they offer something that satisfies a DEEPERneed. And this deeper need is both emotional and complex.
Since we only have another few paragraphs, I'd betterbreak it down for you...
If you run down to the bookstore and pick up some of theseromance novels, you'll find something interesting... thestories usually start out with a male character that is wild,often abusive, untamed, and generally a not-very-nice kind ofguy (Sure, by the end of the book he's usually calmed down abit, but you always know who he REALLY is).
I'm sure you've either experience or seen the situationwhere a guy says "For some reason the women I know date thesejerks, then I'm the 'friend' that gets to hear about it."
Why is it that women date jerks, then tell their "nice guy"friends the stories instead of just dating the nice guys in thefirst place?
ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION.
OK, so what are some of the things that make women FEELthat GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION?
More importantly, how can us guys do some of these thingsto make women feel attracted to US without having to be abusivejerks?
My answer is to learn about how the "Attractive Jerk"personality acts, but leave out the ABUSIVE aspects... and mixin a few other surprises to make an irresistible combination.
Here's an example:
Women are attracted to men who aren't easy to pin down,who are busy with their lives, and who they have to work toget and keep the attention of.
It's hard to get a Jerk's attention because he's soconsumed with himself. He's busy being selfish, so it's justnatural that a woman will find it hard to get his attention.
If you want to use this psychology to your advantage, youcan do things like:
1) Talk about times you're busy before talking about timesyou're available.
Example: You're talking on the phone and making plans to gettogether. Most guys will say something like "How abouttomorrow at 3?" The smart guy will say "Let's see, I'm busytomorrow morning and the next day. And I'm going out oftown this weekend... But I can do it tomorrow at 3."
See the difference? It may not sound like much, but whenyou start saying things like "Well, I'm busy at this time...and I'm busy at that time... etc." the person listening startsto unconsciously think "Uh oh, it sounds like they're busy...I wonder if they're going to have time for me..."
2) Leave her alone once in awhile when you're out together.
Example: You're out together at a store window shopping. Mostguys will stick right along side of the girl that they're withthe entire time. Instead, walk away from her into a differentpart of the store once in awhile and let her come find you.
Again, see the difference? At a subtle level, walkingaway from a woman communicates "I'm confident and independent.I do what I want with my life, and I don't need to stay rightnext to you every second to get your approval."
In the two above situations, a Jerk might do these thingsanyway, but it's always from a SELFISH, OFTEN ABUSIVE placeinside.
It's funny to me, because Jerks attract women by accident.By acting like Jerks, they often naturally attract women, thensay "Hey, cool. I can act like a Jerk and women love it."
Unfortunately, acting like a nice, sensitive guys usuallywon't lead to women falling all over you... so you don't havethat same experience of figuring out what works early on by"accident."
If you want to learn dozens of other ideas to make womenfeel that ILLOGICAL GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION, then I would highlyrecommend that you download your copy of my online book"Double Your Dating." You'll learn the secrets that havetaken me YEARS to figure out, all in an easy, simple formatthat anyone can use to attract women. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
now and download your copy.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.DATING TIP: RIGHT AFTER YOU GET HER NUMBERDATING TIP: What To Do RIGHT AFTER You Get Her Email AddressAnd/Or Phone Number
And as a quick note, I have to say that I love the emailsthat I get that say things like "Please don't print this inyour newsletter... but send me a detailed answer as soonas you can" and "I'm upset because you didn't email meback with free advice". lol... I have hundreds of emailsin my SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com inbox from justthe last couple of weeks. So if you're upset that you'renot getting a reply, please get over it. And don't expectto hear back from me if you say things like "Please don'tprint this in your newsletter", because my newsletter isthe vehicle I use to respond to questions. Duh. You can'teven give away free advice these days without someonewhining...
Onward.
>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
The Guy in the bar Story...
"Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got thewaitress' phone number?"
This is "Ultra Extra Important" you said. I think I knowwhy he should have left, he was probably starring at herall night and she was turned off by it, but give me yourcomplete insight on why he should have left immediatelyafter getting her e-mail.
Thanks, R.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
As I said in the newsletter you quoted above, thisconcept is VERY important.
Understanding why you need to leave at this pointis part of understanding the dynamic called ATTRACTION.
So before I get into the specifics, let's talk aboutthe underlying process that creates ATTTRACTION...
1. ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.
ATTRACTION is natures way of taking over our minds andbodies long enough to make sure that we mate withsomeone with the best possible genes.
2. ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it isn'tcreated by things that "should" create it. Buying womendinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when youfirst meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get theirapproval are examples of "logical" thing that SHOULDcreate attraction... but don't.
When you understand how attraction works, you begin tosee that it has a logic all its own.
3. Women aren't attracted to guys who act like needyWuss-Bags. When guys give lots of compliments, seekapproval, act clingy, or try to go out of their wayto be overly "nice", it usually backfires. Women runfrom wussy men.
4. Unfortunately, many guys are mentally programmed toa sort of "default wussy" mode of behavior when theyencounter a woman that they're attracted to.
When you combine this default wuss mode with nervousbody language, you create an almost impossible barrierbetween you and success.
5. Just like a painting or a song, too much can ruinan interaction with a woman. You must know when toleave. Leaving at the right moment creates tension,anticipation and mystery.
Of course, there are more ingredients to ATTRACTION,but these will set the stage for where I'm going withthis...
In every situation, you can do something to INCREASEthe ATTRACTION... and you can do something to DECREASEit. In other words, there's always a way to dial up thismagical emotion.
And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even whenyou've just met. In fact, this is often the best timeto do it.
Let me ask you a question...
What would most guys do in the situation with thewaitress (or maybe a bar tender)?
Imagine it.
You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute galserving drinks or behind the bar. You're being Cockyand Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's enjoying yourcompany. You say "Hey, do you have email?" and shewrites it down for you...
WHAT DO YOU DO?
You could...
1. Sit there and keep talking.
2. Stay and talk to her a few more times.
3. Wait around hoping that you can go home with her.
4. Leave.
So let's do a little critical thinking about thissituation before I comment (or maybe this will be thecomment, we'll see).
If you (1) sit there and keep talking, what's likelyto happen?
In my experience, unless you're the ultimate MacDaddy of all time, the only place to go is DOWN.
Think about it... you got her info. You did it.She's working. She's only going to get busy, whichwill probably make the conversation more difficult.
And then there's the risk of saying or doingsomething stupid, getting too drunk to make sense,or just having the interaction go cold.
All in all, you have very little chance ofanything good happening, and a great chance ofhaving something not-so-good happening.
Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.
If you (2) stay there in the bar (maybe join friendsthat show up), and talk to her a few more times whileordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?
Again, we're dealing with a situation that almostcan't get any BETTER. Remember, she already gave youthe info. Now she might start thinking "Oh, this isjust another loser that hangs out all night and getsdrunk with his buddies... like the other 47 guys whohit on me."
Or you might say something dumb... or you mighttip her too much or too little and make a strangeimpression... or any of a lot of things.
All downside risk, no upside rewards.
If you (3) wait around hoping that you can gohome with her, I think you're REALLY taking yourchances in the situation.
Again, unless you're the ultimate pick-up artistof all time, you're not likely to be taking home thebar tender by sitting in front of her and drinkingall night... for the same reasons listed above.
But what if (4) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after gettingher info?
What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an interactionlike this one?
Well, let me ask you: What effect does disappearinghave IN GENERAL on people?
It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes theother person think "I wonder where he/she had to go sofast?"
You can also combine this with having something veryINTERESTING to do. For instance, you might say:
"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up withsome friends to have some SERIOUS fun."
This technique of leaving the moment I've gotten awoman's information has worked WONDERS for me... and formany guys I know.
The long and the short of it is that if you stickaround after you get the info, you create no tension,no mystery, and no curiosity.
On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, and havesomething interesting (even if you don't say what it is)to go do, then you're seen as busy... the kind of guywho has a life... someone who is in demand.
Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates curiosity.
Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging, andgenerally NOT having other things to do.
It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you fromother guys, and something that will demonstrate all theright qualities with a single move.
Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or DECREASEthe ATTRACTION in any given situation. I recommend thatyou start thinking of how to increase it as much as youpossibly can, because if a woman feels ATTRACTION, thenalmost nothing else matters.
...and if you'd like to learn even more of my personalsecrets, from psychology to specific techniques for allkind of situations, then I'd recommend that you downloada copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating". Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...for all the details. There are more sample ideas andtechniques on my website, so go check it out!
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.DATING TIP: WHEN TO CALL HER BACKDATING TIP: "How Long Should I Wait To Call Her Back?"
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If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", thenyou probably remember the part where the guys are discussinghow long a guys should wait to call a woman after he'sgotten her phone number.
The scene really hits home for a lot of guys, because itgets down to a real-world situation that we all confront andponder.
I get lot of emails from guys asking me what to do in thisvery situation
The more I've thought about it, the more I realize thatthis particular question (and the answer to it) are part ofa bigger, more important CONCEPT about how to deal withwomen.
Let me explain.
When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?"this immediately tells me a few of things:
1. The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of thesituation. If he felt like he was in control, then it hewouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.
2. The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attractionworks. If he did get it, then he'd be thinking in thoseterms rather than trying to figure out the exact bestamount of time to wait before calling.
To put it differently, the "when do I call her back?problem is part of a bigger concept, and once youunderstand that bigger concept better, then you'll have anautomatic feel for when to call a woman back.
Most guys don't "get" one simple point:
If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, thenyou must behave differently than if you want her to feelthat "just friends" feeling.
In the world of ATTRACTION, things can be completelydifferent.
For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "benice" to women. This usually includes being sweet andcomplimentary when first meeting them, answering all oftheir questions directly, and giving them what theywant when they want it.
But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVELATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you're going tohave to put aside this kind of thinking, and startlearning some NEW ideas.
For instance:
1. A challenge is generally attractive to women.
2. Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive towomen.
3. Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, ascounter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.
I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you'redealing with ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal"ways of thinking and behaving.
I would like to mention one more point before gettinginto the specifics here...
These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having"techniques" used on them.
If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediatelyget defensive and resistant.
If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of"technique" we pass them by without pity.
If a business treats us like a "thing" or a number insteadof an individual person, we avoid them or buy elsewhere.
We humans don't like having manipulation techniques usedon us, and when we detect that someone or something is usingone to get the better of us, we resist.
So let's get back to the "how long to wait before callingher back" issue.
If you think about it, every situation is slightlydifferent. One time you might meet a woman in the morning atcoffee, and another time you might meet a woman at a club at1 in the morning.
If you wait too long to call her back, I think you runthe risk of seeming like you're just using a technique onher, and you come across as a player who's trying to do yourthing on her.
When deciding how long to wait before you call or email,I think it's important to ask yourself this question:
"What will be likely to INCREASE THE ATTRACTION in thissituation?"
Here are a couple of ideas I have used with great success:
1. Email instead of calling first. I personally email thenext day. I'll start with a charming email to get theconversation started, then tell her that I'm going to callin a day or two. This has the effect of making contact withher relatively quickly, but still creating anticipationbecause you haven't actually talked.
2. Call the next day, and make a joke about the situation. Imight call and say "Yea, I was watching Swingers and theysaid to wait three days to call, but I was kind of in moreof a one day mood..."
If you didn't get her email address, and you MUSTuse the phone, just do your best to avoid being AVERAGE.
I personally believe that our attention spans as humansare getting shorter and shorter. We have more and moreinformation coming in from television, newspapers, andother sources, and we're getting cultural ADD. I think thatif you wait too long, you're risking either being seen asusing a technique, or risking being forgotten altogether.
But if you make the opposite mistake and call too soon(for instance a few hours later), you run the risk of beingseen as a needy wuss who has no life.
In a recent newsletter, I wrote about why it's importantto leave immediately after getting a woman's email and/ornumber.
How long you should wait to call her back is a naturalextension of this.
As a matter of fact, if you get a woman's email/numberand then you keep coming over to talk to her, it can almostbe seen as waiting 5 minutes to call her.
There's no anticipation, and it says all the wrong things.
A couple of other quick pointers for when you're makingthat first call:
1. Be busy. If you're going to ask her to join you for teaor something similar, make sure you mention two times thatyou're busy for every one time that you're available.
2. Don't linger on the phone. Make that first call shortand to the point. If you stay on the phone for more than afew minutes, you're running the risk of getting into anormal "What do you do?" "Where do you live?" "Where didyou go to school?" conversation. Avoid.
To summarize, when in doubt wait a day or so to contacther again.
But more importantly, think about the situation in termsof anticipation and ATTRACTION, so when you do make contactit creates the correct context.
Of course, if you'd like to get ALL of my best thinkingon how to deal with different situations and make a womanfeel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for you, thenyou need to read my book "Double Your Dating". It's full ofall my best thinking and ideas about how to attract thekinds of women that you've always wanted. Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and get it.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.DATING TIP: HOW TO APPROACH WOMENDATING TIP: "How Do I Approach And Start Conversations WithWomen?"
>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
David,
I've been receiving your E-mails for about 2 months nowAnd I, being the shy guy, am breaking out of my shell. ButMy question is this...
I'm around women all the time. At work, at the bars,everywhere...what is the best way to train myself to be ableto talk to these girls. So many times I'm sitting there andthis Absolutely Beautiful girl walks in and I'm stunned. ButI don't really know what to say to this girl so she leavesand that's it. I'm getting better but how do I get moreconsistent with my Cocky + Funny lines.
Any Exercises?
KGDC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Your email is asking all the right questions. I thinkyou're going to be surprised at some of the answers that Iprovide.
Let's break this down into the different questions thatI hear you asking...
1. What is the best way to train myself to talk to womenat work, bars, and other places?
2. How do I prepare myself so I'm ready to start aconversation as soon as I see a woman... rather thanwaiting and losing the opportunity.
3. How do I use Cocky and Funny in these situations?
Now, I realize that I've paraphrased your questions,but I've done this for a reason. Sometimes I think that weconfuse ourselves by asking the wrong questions.
If we're looking for solutions to the wrong questions,then we wind up with the wrong answers. And, or course, thewrong answers usually won't get us the best results.
So let's talk about the first two questions...
How to train yourself to talk to women, and how to beprepared so you don't miss opportunities.
I think that training yourself comes down to two basicthings...
1. Mental rehearsal
2. Doing it
First you need to take time when you're alone to imagineone particular place where you see women you'd like to meet,then mentally rehearse exactly how you'd handle the situation.
Think about how you will walk over, what you will say,what she might say or do in response, etc. Imagine all of thelittle details you possibly can.
You'll find something interesting: As you do this, you'llnotice that your mind will show you where you need help, andallow you to fix problems in advance.
For instance, while mentally practicing, you might beimagining a situation where you're talking to a woman, it'sgoing well, and you say "Hey, do you have email?" She replies"Yes, of course", and you say "Great, give it to me."
But then you realize that you don't have a pen on you toget the email. Or that you don't have paper on you. So youdecide that it's time to get a pen to carry with you at alltimes, and a small notepad to go with it. (Don't laugh, mostof the guys I know who are great with women ALWAYS have a penand paper on them).
The point is that mentally rehearsing will give you allkinds of great insight, and it will help you to be ready forany situation that comes up.
Second, you need to actually DO IT. You need to starttalking to all the women you see that you're interested in.
Maybe at first you need to just walk up and say "Thoseare great shoes" or "Do you have the time?". I don't carewhat you do... just do something. (I don't promote beingdishonest, so don't be deceptive.)
What I'm saying here is that you need to get used togoing over and talking to women. The more you do it, theeasier it will get. And like I said, if you have to startwith simple things like giving a compliment or asking forthe time, then do it. It will help build your comfort levelup for more in the future.
Now I'd like to address the third question:
3. How do I use Cocky and Funny in these situations?
I actually think that this question is VERY important,because there is a lot of confusion as to how and when tobe cocky and funny... and to what extent you should use it.
And before I answer this question, I think that it's veryimportant that you READ MY BOOK "DOUBLE YOUR DATING" beforeyou go any further.
My book is the basic foundation of all my thinking. It'sthe model that sets up the rules for the game. Thesenewsletters are obviously full of great stuff, but if youdon't know what the basics are, then you're going tomis-interpret a lot of what I say.
The reason I say all of this is because I don't alwaysthink that being Cocky and Funny is the best thing to dowhen you first meet a woman.
Surprise, Surprise.
In fact, I would say that in MOST cases I don't approacha woman and begin with Cocky and Funny comments.
If you've read my newsletters for awhile, and you'veread my book, then you know that I think it's best to geta woman's email address (and/or phone number) in the firstfew minutes, then to LEAVE and get another one.
And you don't need to be Cocky and Funny about it mostof the time.
Now don't get me wrong... if the situation call for it,or the opportunity arises, I'll make some great comments,but I definitely don't feel like it's a requirement thatyou be Cocky and Funny when you first start talking to awoman.
I prefer to save the Cocky and Funny attitude for later,either after we've been talking for while or after we'vemet up for a second meeting and we're ALONE together.
I do know some guys who are EXPERTS with women... theseguys DO use Cocky and Funny when they first meet women (infact, these are the guys who I learned about this stufffrom in the first place). But keep in mind, they're theMASTERS. They know what to do in every situation, and theydon't care what happens.
If you're just starting out using this material, I'drecommend that you start out a little slower, and work yourway up to busting on women you've just met, etc.
Cocky and Funny is one piece of a much larger puzzle,and I'd recommend that you learn the other pieces as you'relearning this one!
And of course, if you HAVEN'T read my book yet, then I'dsuggest that you do so. My book and the three free bonusbooklets that come along with it contain A LOT of informationthat I have NEVER shared in one a newsletter... and neverwill. Go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now to get it. That's the place to start.
And I'll talk to you in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.MAILBAG: GETTING STARTED AND APPROACHING WOMENTHE MAILBAG: Getting Started And Approaching Women
***QUESTION***
David, I have read your e-book. I think it's great, but questions always arise. I have been dating a woman for five weeks. We've had several wonderful dates. She's a really sweet girl, and I think there is a lot of potential. We have spent the night together three times, but have not yet had full intercourse. I give her oral sex every time and always bring her to orgasm. When I told that I wanted to have full intercourse with her, she told me that she doesn't do that right away. She said she usually does not get naked with a man, but did so with me because she likes me. We discussed our feelings about sex, and I have never pressured her. I always aim to please her sexually. She is definitely enjoying what I do for her, and I enjoy doing it for her. Unfortunately, she hardly touches me or does anything to satisfy me sexually. How should I interpret and handle this? I have been considering gently guiding her hand when she gets to the right location, but I'm not sure if this is a good approach. I may even talk to her about it, but I'd rather her advance on me without my prodding. Should I hold off on giving her oral sex? My intuition tells me that doing so would not be very productive. Do you have any suggestions? E.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
DANGER! You are rapidly approaching the WUSS ZONE!
One thing that you DON'T want to do is TELL A WOMAN THATYOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!
Why not? Because you're GIVING AWAY ALL OF YOUR POWER whenyou do that.
That's what ALL men want from her... don't make me comeover there and shake you!
You say that you have my eBook. I want you to QUICKLY openup the bonus booklet that came along with it called "SexSecrets". Inside you'll read what to do.
You need to get her turned on more... to the point whereshe's ripping your clothes off. Don't just give herpleasure like Mr. Wussy... that's old. She can get thatanywhere.
You need to be different. You need to build anticipationand amplify the ATTRACTION. If you don't you're probablygoing to find her getting bored of you because you'reso predictable and boring.
Trust me.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave, I need your help !!!
My situation is this..... When I go to clubs, I don't have to much problem going over to a girl that I like, so it isn't a lack of confidence. But after a short space of time I find myself struggling to keep the conversation going and start asking the boring questions like, Where do you come from ? How long have you lived there ? Do you drive ?
BORING....... What the hell do you ask a girl you know nothing about ? >>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, you do need my help.
The answer is simple:
STOP TRYING TO KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING.
As soon as you start talking, END the conversation.
Say "It was nice meeting you, I'm going to get back to myfriends..." then turn away. Quickly turn back and say "Hey!Do you have email?" If she says yes, pull out a pen andpaper and say "Here, write it down... I'd like to talk toyou again."
It's really not that difficult.
The problem in busy, crowded public situations is thatthere are WAY too many distractions. You're competing withmusic, loud drunk people, or whatever else is around. It'slike trying have a meaningful conversation at a baseballgame.
Instead, get the info, and move on. If you follow up witha charming email, you'll hear back 50%-80% of the time (inmy experience).
And for GODSAKES... STOP ASKING BORING QUESTIONS! You'renot on a job interview. And neither is she. Boring, lame,typical questions only position you as an average dork.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Great advice you give, i used to be one of the wussy guys, being nice and always there for the girls, but i've been using c&f lately on new girls i meet AND ones i already knew. it works. Really well. im no longer the 'nice guy' to them.. im the guy they all talk about. But i have a problem.. ive learnt the hard way once... and since moved on....now the problem has presented itself again :/ here it is...:
I get to know a group of absolute HOT chicks.. and i want them all... so... i bust on them all... nothing wrong there.. everythings going fine... later down the track though... they all want a piece of me..... anything wrong with that? NOT AT ALL!!! first time this happened i blindly dove in.. hooking up with all of them.. not all at once unfortunately...one thing wrong though... they find out about each other and all of a sudden im the sleave bucket they never want to see again.... WHAMO! now there were some hunnies in this group dave, and i wanted more than just once off's with them.. ALL of them!! but noooo... im the bad guy now. ( i can see their point really but come on) NOW, being the Jedi Master... i know you have the answer to my problem as the situation has popped up again with a new group... im seeing one at the moment but her friends are to hot to leave alone... i use c&f on them and they love it but i see where this is going.. the same way as it did before..... am i writing to much here?? anyway.. back to the point..... How can i avoid the same thing happening? im sure you can see my situation... is there a way of having.... can i say sex on here? or shall i say shag.. ill say shag.... how can i shag them all with out them getting bitchy about me sleeping with the others too?? now don't go accusing me dave of being greedy... i know you'd have been in this situation before. i need your wisdom and quick!!
Thanks again man, you've helped me ten fold.
JF.
AUST.
P.S. im not re-reading this to see if it makes sense.. ill leave that up to you heheheh.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, my heart really goes out to you. I'm feelin' ya. Itmust be tough.
I'm going to have to make an educated guess on this one.
I'll bet that it's not the fact that you're sleeping withall of them that's the MAIN problem... it's probably thatyou didn't make it clear up front what was going on.
They probably feel like you were trying to HIDE the factand they CAUGHT YOU sneaking around on all of them...
When, in fact it doesn't sound like that's what you weretrying to do.
Remember, perception is more important to most peoplethan reality. And if a woman perceives that you're tryingto deceive her, she'll shut you down.
I'd recommend that you figure out how to make sure thatall of the women you're seeing know that you're at leastseeing other women that they know.
You don't have to get into specifics, but if you want toprevent the "you're a sneaky bastard" problem, thenyou might want to diffuse the situation before it BECOMESa situation.
Women will accept you for whatever you are... but theydon't like it if they suspect that you're trying to pullthe wool over their eyes.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
How are you man? I bought your book and I really like what you're doing. I've found your research to be right on point! Anyways, I have some notes from the field for you and your readers. This is a perfect example of the "unaffected and crassness towards a hot chick" behaviour you wrote of in your book. I was at a local club the other night and I found a place at the bar where I noticed a lot of girls were going to get served. So I and my friends went right to that spot and I just sort of planted myself against the bar in a slouching yet confident kind of way. Just playing cool and unaffected by any hot chick going past but still making eye contact with them. Well, inevitably a hot chick and her friends slides up to my left. I of course look over my shoulder at her and tell her my drink preference. She said something about how "I should be buying her a drink", and I said "yeah that'll happen" very sarcastically. So the dialogue went on and of course I was wearing out the whole cocky & funny thing and busting on her, it was working like a charm of course. I even at one point was asked buy her friend to pass a napkin and I did that little, she reached for it and I pulled it away bit several times, which although very basic was cracking her up. Needless to say, this hottie that i had initiated conversation with was all about rubbing her titties all over my side that was open to her, my back! I thought of the most cocky thing I could say that was subtley sexual and as she was rubbing those nice titties of hers all over me, i looked her in the eyes and said, "you really need to stop doing that!" Well, she looked at me is such disbelief that it seemed no man has ever even slightly suggested that she not rub her tits on him. Which obviously has in fact never happened. Needless to say she was eyeing me all night but I had to move on to another hottie, from Sweden, and later in the night I saw her dragging around by hand some big chump that she probably just met but when she walked past me with her "boytoy" those eyes of hers were shouting "f--k me, please!"
Well that's it for the story keep up the "good struggle", Adam "el cholo"
P.S. (do you think that your research is just as valid for use in Latin American countries such as Mexico?)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
To answer your last question first, I get emails from guysall over the world who are using these techniques... so myguess is that they're fairly universal. I'm sure thatthere's a culture somewhere that isn't friendly to it, butI haven't heard about it yet.
And as for your story... I LOVE IT!
It's a true Jedi level maneuver to bust on a woman fordoing something that any other man would pay money tohave done.
It's confusing, and, when done right, MAGICAL.
Keep up the great work. You should have 10 female stalkersin no time at all.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dear David,
You are the man. I just want to share a little success story with you. I've been practicing the cocky and funny routine online and I must say it works like magic. I talked to this one girl for only an hour, I kept up the cocky and funny routine the whole time, she asked for my number and called me 10 minutes later. We arranged a meeting and it went great. I stayed in character all night and even got her to come back to my place. We had a very passionate and heated little session (no sex but damn close). I can barely remember the last time I even kissed a girl, but now I think I'm starting to understand what I was doing wrong for such a long time. You are absolutely right when you say that it is the CHARACTER and not the material that attracts women. This girl couldn't get enough. I teased her all night and never let up.
Unfortunately I must have turned into a WUSSY boy at some point between the hot and heavy session at my place and when I dropped her off. I'm not really sure what happened. I'm thinking maybe I screwed up by calling her the next day. She was screening her calls obviously and never called me back. I waited a week and tried again with a well thought out message. I thought it was a good message but now that I think about it, it was cocky but NOT funny. I wasn't feeling the character. She messed up my self-esteem and it was probably obvious in the message. But I'm over it and now I say FORGET HER, move on to the next one. That's the only way to get better, is by learning from our mistakes and making a game out of it. Because that is all it is to them , A GAME. We just have to know how to play.
Thanks David. YOU RULE.
C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're OK... you're doing fine. And let me echo a commentthat you made (which came from me, of course), because it'sSOOO important:
"...now I think I'm starting to understand what I was doingwrong for such a long time. You are absolutely right whenyou say that it is the CHARACTER and not the material thatattracts women..."
You MUST get into the right CHARACTER in order to make thiswhole male-female-ATTRACTION thing work. You need to playthe ROLE correctly.
In fact, if the CHARACTER is right, you can actually screwup a lot of the specific technical things (calling too soon,saying Wuss-Bag things, etc.) and still have great success.
But if the character is WRONG, then you're going to have avery hard time making things work... even if you are usingALL of the techniques correctly.
Thanks for your email, that's such an important point.
***QUESTION***
HER: "If you think I'm going to sleep with you, after you've spent the last couple of hours teasing and taking the mickey, think again!" ME: No answer, just a slight smile... (Six months ago, SuperWuss would've said "But honey, please... I was only kidding!") One hour later, in bed: HER: "I don't want to just be another one in your harem, you know!" ME: No answer, just another slight smile, and a kiss on the neck. (Six months ago, SuperWuss would've said "But honey, you know I really really respect you and love you....") Five minutes later, her legs are locked around my waist:-) You know Dave, I'm in an incredibly funny space right now: I am CONSTANTLY saying to myself "Jeez... Did I just get away with saying/doing THAT???" LOL I'm having the time of my life, and it's all thanks to you. I'd like to meet you in person oneday, and shake your hand! Anyway, my question: Every guy's been in this situation, you're walking out somewhere with a beautiful girl, and some other guy (or guys) makes a whistle or 'Hey baby' comment to your girl... What's a good C+F response to this? What I'm concerned about is using the situation to make the girl MORE attracted to ME, rather than putting down the guy. Part of me wants to tell the guy to butt out and mind his own business/get his own girl etc. but I'm aware that not only will this possibly make me look like an insecure, jealous asshole, but could also get me into a potentially dangerous situation that would ruin the good evening I have planned. On the other hand, I worry that no response at all may look like I'm a mouse not a man! I thought about saying to my girl "Damn! I wish these gays would just leave me alone!", making out it was ME the guy was hitting on, but I'm not sure if I want to put the idea I'm gay into her mind LOL. What do you think? regards,
R London UK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
GREAT question.
Well, remember, every situation is an opportunity toINCREASE THE ATTRACTION.
These are great opportunities to position yourself in hermind in a way that sets you apart from all other guys.
What would most guys do in this situation?
1. Get insecure and jealous.
2. Start a fight.
3. Pull the woman closer.
4. Act intimidated.
Your idea is great... making a joke out of it by suggestingthat the guy is trying to pick you up.
Another idea is to just keep walking without even payingnotice to it, then a moment later commenting "Don't you justlove the way typical guys act? Classy, isn't it?"
This, in effect, lumps other guys into a group and sets youapart from it.
By not reacting at all to other men's advances, you alsoshow that you're not easily upset.
I think that if you let things upset you, that you openyourself to manipulative behaviors that involve getting youupset.
Much better to smile and not let things get to you... becausethe irony of it is that if you let things get to you, theywill.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
I am a lady and read your spam for the fun of it. Boy are you all wet and not dry behind the ears yet when it comes to knowing how to attract a lady. I suppose you do all right attracting the ugly ducklings that want to be your door mat.
Making fun of the way a lady is not attractive, it just shows what a rude jerk you really are and have no manners. Faking being busy on the phone is one of the oldest tricks in the book and all women are wise to it. If you were truly busy, you would not have called in the first place and women know this. Waiting a certain length of time to call is just ignorance. Out of sight, out of mind is the way most women think about men, when you snooze, you loose.
Darlin, get real, this is 2002, head games are a definate no no, honesty is in, or has it been so long since you have attracted a lady instead of a door mat you don't know this. Women have more brains than men and all women know we are sitting on the world men are trying to win, so being rude and making a real pain in the butt out of yourself may get you a door mat but never a lady.
Keep your nonsense flowing, us women get a real good laugh from your advice on how to score. The old saying sure holds true with your writing," Those who can do, those who can't write a book on how to". haha!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well I guess you told me!
Here's what I heard you say (my interpretations, of course):
1. Waiting to call a woman back is a bad idea, and if youdon't call her immediately then she'll forget you and notwant to ever see you again.
2. Women are smarter than men.
3. Women are "sitting on the world men are trying to win",which I'm assuming means what you have between your legs.
4. That you believe I promote "being rude" and "faking beingbusy".
OK, where do I start?
I don't know, but I have sneakin' suspicion that you sharethe CRACK PIPE with the STONED woman from last week. Don'ttell me that you're a base-head too?
Well, I guess you asked for it, with your off-the-handleemotional rant... so here goes. (Can you believe that I getto have this much fun... and call it work?)
So you think that waiting to call a woman back is a badidea, huh?
And you think that if you don't call her back immediatelythat she'll have forgotten you... and just not be interested.
This is an interesting line of thinking.
If you're high.
Look, it's soooo commonly known that it's not a good ideato call a woman the moment after you've met her that evenguys who have never seen the movie SWINGERS know not todo it!
Yea, I see. I think that from now on, I'll just ask womenfor their cel phone numbers, then call them right after Iwalk away. I can say "Hi... it's me! Look over your leftshoulder! Here I am! [Waving my arms around]"
That would be cool.
I'd make fun of this idea more, but I have a minimum ofthree more incredibly stupid ideas of yours to bust on...
So you think that women are smarter than men, huh? Yourexact comment was "Women have more brains than men". Youknow, this is genius level thinking. It's probably becauseyou're smarter than me that you actually know this.
I'll bet, though, that because you've smoked so much CRACKthat you've killed enough brain cells to make us at leastEQUALLY "brainy". Just a hunch.
I think you took a step down the wrong path with thiscomment.
And then you started RUNNING FULL SPEED down that samewrong path with:
"...all women know we are sitting on the world men aretrying to win..."
Do me a favor... next time you send me an email like this,send me your address so I can PAY YOU for yourcontribution. I wish I could come up with stuff like thismyself.
I see that you've written me an email, so you must haveaccess to a computer (just a guess). But it seems to methat you must be pretty new to the internet, because youobviously haven't figured out that any man can get onlineand within 30 seconds be looking at beautiful naked womenfor free.
And if they really have a mind to not have to listen toyour mouth AND AT THE SAME TIME "win" the "world" thatwomen like yourself are sitting on, ALL THEY HAVE TO DOIS FLY TO VEGAS AND GET A CAB OUT TO THE CHICKEN RANCH!
This is 2002! It's not the dark ages.
I feel like I can speak for most of the guys on thisnewsletter when I say that we would like to meet womenwho are emotionally stable, friendly, happy, financiallytogether, etc. (I don't expect you to be able to identifywith this description... don't worry about it.)
It's not our desire to just "win what you're sitting on".
We don't have to anymore. We improve ourselves in thisarea because we WANT TO. We're not interested in playing"Hi there Miss, will you please give me some attention andsome of what you're sitting on?"
And finally, to address your comment that implies that Iteach men to be rude and to fake things...
You're missing the boat entirely. It's like a joke, youeither get it or you don't. And you don't.
Remember, send your address next time! And also try thespelling and grammar check in your word processor, becauseyou write like an emotionally unstable middle-schooler.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey,
I have been reading your news letters for awhile now and decided that I would give it a shot, I got a few one night stands and then met this girl that I felt really strong for and went ahead and used what I had learned cocky and funny, it worked, since I wanted her to be a long term relationship I also added in some nice, sweet, subtle compliments in along the way and it worked we have now been together for about a month and a half. All that stuff that you said taught me was fantastic for one night stands and even long term. Those people that say it doesn't work are either:
1. Too much of a wuss to try it or
2. have tried it once and only once and probably messed it up along the way got shot down and are to much of a wuss to get back up and try it agian. Right on for your advice and keep itcoming, you never know when it might come in handy.
R.J. >>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I'm going to comment on the "R" word... relationships.
If you attract a woman using these techniques, then you mustremember to KEEP IT FUN AND INTERESTING for her as you moveinto a relationship.
You've got the formula right... slowly start doing more"relationship" type things, subtly complimenting her, etc.
Too many guys switch from being charming, challenging, andinteresting to being full-on WUSSIES when it comes time todo the relationship thing... which, of course, drives thewoman away.
You must remember that when a woman feels ATTRACTION for you,she's feeling it for a REASON. Make sure you keep that reasongoing into the future!
***COMMENT***
Cocky and funny is absolutely the best technique for getting women, but there is still more to it. Keeping your composure is also very important. If for any reason you say...trip and fall... then don't overreact! Every human on the face of the planet makes mistakes similar to that, and you make it a lot worse by blowing it out of proportion by freaking out in crazy embarrassed way. Just get back up, laugh a little and say a little "oops" or something then go on like nothing happened. Act like you aren't fazed when you screw up around girls. It gives an overwhelming sense to the girls that you are one confident badass.
Confidence is beyond important. You cannot show fear of anything. People have got to look at the world as their own playground, where everybody else is just their string puppets for them to control to get what they want. You've got to emit the sense to whatever girl you are trying to hook up with that you think anything is possible. There is no fear, and thus there is only supreme confidence. Supreme confidence will bring you supreme women.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, one of my favorite topics: COMPOSURE.
I have been thinking a lot about the concept of composurelately. I'm actually writing a section on it in a futurebook... and I spent some time talking about it in theLos Angeles seminar back in May.
Composure if vital because we humans tend to read verysubtle cues from others, then make large judgments aboutthem as people.
For instance, if you're the type that let's little thingsbother you, then you're probably going to be thought of asnot-exactly-masculine.
For instance, let's say that you're out with a girl forcoffee, and you come out to find a parking ticket on yourcar. Some guys I know wouldn't even think about it...they'd just get upset. They'd start whining, ranting andraving... and throwing a tantrum... with no regard forwhat the woman is thinking of them.
On the other hand, I know guys who would causally pickup the ticket, make a funny comment, and not even missa beat.
What's the difference?
The guy who keeps his composure at all times is FAR moreattractive than the one who doesn't.
Another place that composure plays an important part iswhen women TEST men. If a woman starts trying to pushyour buttons, becomes demanding, or starts being dramaticabout something, you need to KEEP YOUR COOL.
In fact, some of the guys I know who are THE MOSTsuccessful with women actually don't even respond AT ALLto drama or tests from women.
They just continue what they were doing.
Oh the other hand, I know some guys who let this kindof thing take them off balance and upset them (I usedto be one of those guys).
If you let things like this upset you, or even get toyou a little bit, it's going to be obvious that youcan't control your emotions, and it will make you lessattractive all the way around.
Keep your composure. Keep your composure. Keep yourcomposure.
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
Hey Dave,
I'm a female reader, but I still love receiving your newsletter. I know where you're coming from with a lot of the information you explain to the readers. I have plenty of guyfriends and I am definitely attracted to those jerky kinda guys. Your newsletter can apply to the ways women can get pick up men too.. I mean, a lot of times, its about the approach and confidence level, so it works for some women. Sometimes things you write make me laugh because they're righton the money and other times I'm like "DAMN so that's what the guy was trying to do". It's enjoyable seeing the techniques that guys use and their point of views. Do you think there areany other newsletters like this out there.. but for gals like myself? Keep up the great work!
-c
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Did I mention that I love honest women? Another letter thatspeaks for itself... thank you!
***QUESTION***
Dear Doctor David, Please come round here and kill me I am so pathetic. Ive read your book twice now and should be putting some of it to good use. But it seems that I am completely inept at doing so. Ive just been talking to this fine young lady at the gym. (By the way Ive been out of circulation for quite some time now since my divorce and I'm way out of practice) Anyway I was just talking to her and all of a sudden I started to go into wuss mode I even forgot here name as soon as she told me so i asked here it again, so pathetic! I also hung around for a little bit to long plus I never asked for her email. Now I would really like to get to know this girl take her out on a date etc. But I'm really sure that I've blown my chances.Although she seemed interested mostly apart from the forgetingher name part Next time I see her I really want to recover thesituation and act properly, maybe I should pretend to forget her name again make a joke of it. what do you think. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. By the way your last news letter was awesome, very informative, I just hope that I can put it to some good use and become a "Jedi Master!" Best regards AM Lancaster, England.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey, you're doing fine.
Every one of us is in a different place in life, and you'regoing to get this figured out.
The more you deal with attractive women, the more relaxedyou'll NATURALLY become, and the more easily you'll rememberto do the things you need to do in these situations.
Next time you see this woman, just go about your businessand see if she starts talking to you. If not, no big deal.
The second time you see her at the gym, then talk to her.At that point, casually say "Hey, do you have email?" Thenget it and LEAVE IMMEDIATELY... have somewhere you'regoing... don't linger.
Send her a charming email, and meet her for tea. You'redoing great.
And by the way, stop calling me Doctor. Everyone's going tostart thinking that I'm smart or something.
Hey, maybe I should get one of those Internet PhD's, huh?
"Huh Huh, Hey Beavith... huh huh... that would be kewl."
***QUESTION***
HI David, you are THE MAN!!!
I am in recovery of what you may call "success-with-women"coma, I was on life support until I found your website, then EVERYTHING changed!!!! I have managed to go out with girls that are 8's or 9's in my scale, thing which I haven't done in almost 5 years (after breaking up with my cheating girlfriend). Anyway, we went out with some friends to dinner on saturday and one of our girl-friends went with this blonde that was an 9.5-10. So one of my friends started hitting on her (according to most girls he is very good looking) and she was paying attention to him.... at first! I started with my cocky & funny routine and she was all over me!! To make thingsshort I walked home with her email, home and cell phone number and my friend ended up with... NOTHING. I wouldn't have been able to do that in other time. THANKS!!!!
Now my question. There's this girl at the gym I go to, we have been flirting, and I haven't talked to her, yet. I can'tcome up with really good cocky and funny lines, any suggestions?
Thanks again!!!
AMFdP
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, you'd better hurry up, because the guy in the lastemail I commented on is probably at the gym picking her upright now!
And the funny thing is that I'm going to give you the sameadvice. In these kinds of situations, it's best to get theemail address, then send an email the next day. Start adialogue, then get her on the phone and meet her forcoffee. It's simple.
Whenever you're in doubt, just remember to take one smallstep... don't make a big deal. All you need to do is getan email and number... then take the next step... and thenext... and the rest will take care of itself.
***COMMENT***
G'day,
You said: "You know, I'm really tired of you women treating me like some kind of piece of meat. I have feelings too, and I don't just like being thought of as a sex object." When she gets over that, why not follow up with: "I bet you'd kill for my waist too." It doesn't matter if she's really slim or not. The formula is magic and it gets easier the more you use it.
From J in Melbourne
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, that's a great follow up.
Funny, but a friend of mine in Australia came up with thatoriginal Cocky and Funny approach of "I'm not just a sexobject... I have feelings too" and it's not surprising tome that someone else from down under would come up witha great add-on to it.
Nice!
Turning the sexual stereotype roles around, then havingfun with them is a GREAT way to keep conversations going,and a great way to have fun.
***QUESTION***
OK, I'll keep this short and sweet. I used to SUCK at getting girls and was terrified of rejection and talking to strange girls in public. Bought your book, and changed my whole approach to women. I was in future shop and this sales-girl dropped this palm screen-cover that I was going to buy between two glass display cases. So I immediately starting busting on her with a serious face how she did it on purpose, just because it was the only one they had in the store. Anyhow when I was leaving, I told her the least she could do was to give me her number. She laughed and did, and I called her the next day. She said she had to go and was busy, so I told her I bought another screen-cover at her competition store, to keep up the Cocky & Funny. I called back 2 more times and each time she was busy. This has happened a few times when I have called girls after getting their number. Sometimes I wait a few days after getting a girl's number, so I don't appear desperate; but this doesn't seem to have it's desired effect. But I am obviously doing something wrong because once I get the number, it usually ends there. When is it best to call a girl after getting her number, and what's the secret to success to meet quickly for your half-hour cup of tea plan after getting a girl's number?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I have just one word for you:
EMAIL.
Get the email.
You'll get probably twice as many emails returned the firsttime as you will phone calls.
And with email, you can follow up if she doesn't emailyou back.
#2 can say:
"What, playing hard to get so soon? Talk to me."
...and it doesn't come off as needy.
If you CALL and say that, it does come off as needy.
Don't ask me why, but it seems that email has all kinds ofgreat benefits that the phone doesn't.
Start the dialogue with email, then switch to a shortphone call to set up the first meeting... then move tomeeting in person. Works much better.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Your stuff is amazing. Check out this success story. I was at a coffee shop with some friends. I was sitting at a table all by myself right next to my friends, because there wasn't enough room for all of us to sit at the same table. I had two empty chairs at my table. This hottie comes in with two of her female friends. As she was ordering her coffee, we make eye contact, and after four to five seconds I look at my watch. She does the same thing. I know she was checking me out. She comes and sits at the table in front of me. There were only two chairs at her table. She walks up to me and says: Can I borrow a chair. I said : Sure. I know. Wussy. But it gets better. She takes the chair and sits but her back is facing me. So I tell her: "Excuse me I was nice enough to let you borrow my chair and all of a sudden you turn your back on me. " Oh I 'm sorry, well where do you want me to sit" She says. So I say " why don't you tell your two friends to push a little bit and you sit there, therefore you don't have your back turned on me and you can see my pretty face. She starts laughing as she's moving over. So I accused her. "Are you laughing in my face. My face is not to be laughed at, it is to be admired." She comes and sits at my table, where there was the other chair
HER: Sorry but I wasn't laughing in your face ME: Yes you were. HER: I am sorry then. My name is Lisa ME: I am glad you told me but it's too late for first impressions. Look at you, right now you have your back turned on your friends. This is very disrespectful. HER: Oh come on stop it. ME: Stop what, this is reality HER: Well where do you want me to sit ME: You can come and sit next to me, my back is facing the window. (she actually came and sat next to me.She asked me for a light) HER: Can I borrow your lighter ME: Well it all depends HER: It depends on what ME: On whether you want to light up your cigarette, or you want to light up a fire in this coffee shop. (she starts laughing, so I kept on going), because if it's the second one then forget it, I have my fingerprints on this lighter and I will be accused for your actions. (she continues to laugh) HER: No I want to light up my cigarette. ME: Well now that we have established that fact, what do I get in return. HER: In return for what ME: Well listen, I let you borrow my chair and i didn't say anything, but my lighter is pushing it. So I want to get something in return. HER: A hug ME: You can do better than that HER: OK a kiss ME: I tell you what. you give me a hug for letting you borrow my chair and a kiss for my lighter. HER: Wo. You're pushing it ME: Fine no lighter. And I will go and get my chair back. ( As I get up she stops me) HER: Ok fine. ( So i got the kiss and the hug, This routine is amazing) HER: I like your watch ME: Thanks. This watch has a battery that has 100 years guarantee. I will be dead and the watch will still be working. ( she starts laughing). ME: You want to try it on HER: Ya sure ( she wears it) ME: Naa, it doesn't look good on you. I, on the other hand, make it look good. (And I grabbed it out of of her wrist) After some small talk I got her e-mail and phone number. We have been out a couple of times but I play everything according to your book. I end all conversations and phone calls. I have here call me and say that I am busy. i have established that I want to be just friends. I still accuse her for having her back turned on people so therefore she always sits next to me because I always sit by the window. Thanks for all the advice Pure genius >>>MY COMMENTS:
What a great example of how to interact with a woman...so you both have fun, and she experiences a wonderful,challenging experience which only amplifies her attraction.
Very nice.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave, You are indeed the man! I have been running around in the dark but thanks to your book the light has finally come on, and I realize that my wires have been crossed. In the past when I would meet an attractive woman I would do the old "roll over and play wuss" and she would just want to be friends. And the girls that I only wanted to be friends with I would be all C&F with and they would be calling all the time, telling me how funny I am and how I have Charisma (and I do). But I just couldn't see what I was doing wrong. Now after reading your book it all makes perfect sense to me. Now I treat 10's like they are 2's (still giving up human respect, no one likes a "true" a##hole!) But just because they won the "genetic lotto" doesn't mean I or any other man should feel the need to kiss their ass. Now I just treat them like they were one of my friends and let them know that until they show me why I should "lower my standards"(ha..ha) that's all they will ever be. And dude... it dives them nuts. And the few that throw a little "tiff" I just tell them I'm not their "boyfriend" so they better have their fit on someone else's time. Thanks again,
D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nothing else really needs to be said. Preach it.
...and that about wraps it up.
Let me ask you a question... are you at a point in your lifewhere it's time to start learning about how the whole conceptof "women and dating" works better?
Have you been walking around trying to make sense out of whywomen are attracted to some men, but not attracted to others?
Have you seen average-looking guys or guy friends who seem tobe able to attract beautiful women... even though they didn'thave looks, fame, or money?
Well, if you'd like to get a behind-the-scenes look into theminds of women, and you'd like to learn the techniques forattracting women and creating ATTRACTION that it's taken meliterally YEARS to figure out, then I'd recommend you go anddownload a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating."
Inside I'll give you the codes to the locked safe of the femalemind. You'll learn the REAL story behind why women are attractedto some men, and not to others.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and download your copy.
I'll talk to you again in a few days.
Your Friend,
David D.
***If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question,or Comment, follow these guidelines***
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask yourquestion. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great"and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works"comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all ofthe specifics... because this helps other guys to seewhat's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" inthe subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tellme where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.comDATING TIP: WOMEN ARE NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OFDATING TIP: Women Are Nothing To Be Afraid Of
What prevents men from being successful with women?
Well, the list goes on and on... but one of the elementsthat TOPS the list is FEAR.
There are many different situations that make men feelfear, but I'd like to talk about some of the most commonones... and what to do about them.
First of all, I'd like you to be honest for a momentabout this topic.
Do you ever feel FEAR when it comes to women and dating?
Have you ever seen a woman that you'd really like to meet,but you started to feel fear, and didn't do anything aboutit?
Or maybe you were on a date, and you wanted to kiss awoman... but you felt too afraid because you didn't want tomake a mistake and screw up your chances?
Or maybe you even got a woman's phone number, but youwere too afraid to call back because you didn't know how tostart off the conversation or ask her out?
I'm sure you know that most guys would rather admit in public that they were unsure about their sexual orientationthan that they were afraid of women.
Of course, this only makes matters worse...
If you don't admit that you have the problem, then it'shard to get help and answers to it.
Well, the good news is that you're not alone.
Almost every guy I've known (including myself) has dealtwith this issue MANY TIMES with women.
So STEP 1 is to GET OVER IT, and come to grips with thefact that you're human... STEP 2 is to admit that you'dlike to get this particular thing handled.
Once you realize that it's not that big of a deal, thenthe improvement can start. On the other hand, if you juststay in denial about it, you'll probably just look for newtricks and techniques to use on women... which, of course,won't lead to any REAL improvement.
I personally think that one of the biggest causes offear when it comes to situations with women is:
PUTTING TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON WHAT THE WOMAN THINKS OFYOU AND WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT PARTICULAR SITUATION.
To put it in different words, most guys don't takeaction because they're afraid that they'll screw up orthat the woman (or others around them) will judge them tobe stupid.
The REAL problem, though, is that this whole processhas become AUTOMATIC, and it happens INSTANTLY the momentmost guys see a woman that they'd like to meet. Beforethey even have a chance to think about the situationrationally, they've become nervous, insecure, and upset.
I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
As humans, we have these incredible minds and bodies,but sometimes they get wired up in ways that aren'texactly useful for the situations that we find ourselvesin. Worse, sometimes our cultures, families, or peergroups teach us ways of thinking that just aren't usefulat all for what we'd like to accomplish.
Here's something that I realized a few years ago whenI was learning for myself how to be successful withwomen...
I thought about this idea that I was having thisinstant, automatic fear in different situations withwomen, and that I was really thinking "I don't want toscrew this up" and "I don't want her to think that I'ma dork"...
And all of a sudden something dawned on me:
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
It doesn't matter what happens, and it doesn't matterwhat she thinks of me.
I realized that the fears I was experiencing were morefrom PROGRAMMING than from reality.
So I started to remind myself as often as possiblethat the fear wasn't happening because there was anykind of danger... and that my objective in a particularsituation wasn't to have it turn out perfect, IT WAS TOLEARN.
So, for instance, if I saw a woman that I wanted tomeet, instead of thinking "OK, I have to say somethingcharming and original so she'll like me... and if Iscrew up I'm going to be embarrassed" I began to thinkthings like "I'm going to learn how to get a woman'sphone number within a few minutes of meeting her... andpart of learning this is going to be trying a lot ofdifferent things that probably aren't going to work...but in the end, it's all going to even out because I'mgoing to have the SKILL that I want."
See the difference?
Well, let me tell you, that attitude change made aHUGE impact on my success. I was willing to do and trythings that I never would have tried in the past forfear of screwing up...
All because I had the attitude of "I'm going to learnsomething from this and improve my skills... and itdoesn't matter what happens in THIS PARTICULAR situation"I was able to improve very rapidly.
And the more I began to apply this idea, the moresuccess I had in ALL areas with women... from the firstmeeting, to getting them to go out with me, to takingthings to a physical level.
That's one good idea for dealing with your fears.
If you'd like to read more of my personal secretsfor overcoming fear, including specific mental exercisesand physical drills, then I'd recommend that you downloada copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating". It's fullof all my very best thinking on this and many othersubjects about success with women.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and get it. At my website I also give several othergreat tips and ideas, so make sure and check it out.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
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2.Common sense precautions should be taken however when arranging to meet anyone face to face for the first time.
3.You4Dating Free Online Dating ,You4Dating is a Free 100% Dating Site, There are No Charges ever. We allow You to Restrict who can Contact You, and Remove those unfit to Date.
4. You4Dating is Responsible for Creating Relationships per Year proving it is possible to Find Love Online. It will Quickly become a Leader in the Internet Dating Industry because of its Advanced Features and matching Systems,and most of all,Because is a 100% Free-There are No Charges Ever.
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